Gay Gym Personalities

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    Dec 21, 2010 7:40 AM GMT
    Alright, so recently I've been working out at the Arclight 24 Hour Fitness. The gym is gay gay gay because it is located in West Hollywood... or is it Hollywood? Whatever. I go after work, around 6:30pm, since it is the closest gym and to avoid driving home in the hell that is LA traffic. Of course, it is ridonkulously crowded at this time because all the gays are getting their fitness on. This makes the wait time for equipment, except for the machines that look like expensive orthopedic equipment, painfully long. Yes, I would normally just mind my own business and focus on working out... not an option here. Plus I can't get out of the contract.

    Anyways, this has given me tons of time to observe, study, and document the various gym gays personalities for shit and giggles. Here goes:

    The Locker Room Cruiser Gay
    You see this gay standing around in the locker room wrapped in a towel when you arrive. You go workout and come back 60 mins later and this gay is still in the locker room in a towel. This gay is usually over 40 and makes a good guard dog because as soon as someone walks in the locker room he turns to look.

    Check Out My Abs Gay
    This is the gay that gets up after every set of crunches, stands in front of you and blocks your view of the mirror, picks up his shirt and checks out his abs. He picks up the bottom of his shirt and sways left to right in front of the mirror staring at his torso and occasionally pressing down on his abs or lack thereof. You wonder if he realizes there are 20 other guys using the same mirror thinking really? REALLY??? O RILLY??

    The Obviously Checking Out Other Gays Gay
    These gays are never alone. They come to the gym decked out in matching fashionable outfits. They attempt to workout together but instead spend their entire time squatting on the lat machines and looking around. You can over hear them giggle and say things like "ooooh guurrrll, look at him, if he can left those dumbbell like that imagine how easily he can left up my legs." GET THE FUCK OFF THE MACHINES QUEERS!!

    Please add your gym gay personality. I stole this idea from a message board that will remain nameless.
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    Dec 21, 2010 8:08 AM GMT
    The You Cruise You Lose Gay:
    He's the one who's sexing over half the guys in the gym on the DL, but tries to play Mr. Innocent by continuously screaming his anti-cruise hate all over the place as though it makes him sound all high and mighty and shit.
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    Dec 21, 2010 8:22 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidThe You Cruise You Lose Gay:
    He's the one who's sexing over half the guys in the gym on the DL, but tries to play Mr. Innocent by continuously screaming his anti-cruise hate all over the place as though it makes him sound all high and mighty and shit.


    Actually, I've never cruised, nor do I sex anyone who goes to my gym other than my boyfriend, and we have never done it at the gym. You cruise, you lose.
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    Dec 21, 2010 9:16 AM GMT
    Today I encountered my first Looking At Other Guys While I Swim gay. The mother fucker took off his goggles to look at me while I walked up to the pool, and would put them back on and dive under water every time I swam by.
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    Dec 21, 2010 9:18 AM GMT
    AvadaKedavra saidAlright, so recently I've been working out at the Arclight 24 Hour Fitness.


    *ugh* I used to go there but absolutely fucking hated it. You pay for parking, AWFUL lighting that feels like it's burning my skin, and a surfeit amount of idiots who all have talent in not re-racking their weights. I still have my 24 membership cuz it's cheap, but they recently upgrading from a "sport" to a "super sport" because they installed a towel system there (not fucking idea why THAT makes the gym more expensive to join). So now that I only have membership to a "sport" gym I dunno if I can go there because they have towels now. But I just stick to me LA fitness now. It's gay, but way LESS gay than 24 hr arclight.
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    Dec 21, 2010 12:44 PM GMT
    JAKEBENSON saidToday I encountered my first Looking At Other Guys While I Swim gay. The mother fucker took off his goggles to look at me while I walked up to the pool, and would put them back on and dive under water every time I swam by.


    Related to this is the goggle-ogle which is when you put your goggles on to look at someoneĀ“s ass under water.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Dec 21, 2010 1:15 PM GMT
    Probably don't have enough gay members at the YMCA to catogorize them....but I've seen individual members that fit the OP's gay typing.
    I got a laugh out of the discussion, however. If I worked out at a gym that was as gay as this one in West Hollywood, sounds like many may go for the "show" than to exercise... LOL
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    Dec 21, 2010 1:22 PM GMT
    The Ice Queen
    The type of guy who gives you chills when he walks into the gym, primarily because of his 'icy-ness' and cold stare. Hardly speaks and has a "Don't mess with me" kind of look. But, as he becomes comfortable and realizes that not every straight muscle-head is a douche-bag, he begins to warm-up and thaw as their kindness and personable, 'big lug'-like attitude endear themselves to his formerly icy heart.

    <<<Former Ice Queen
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    Dec 21, 2010 1:23 PM GMT
    ..that would be "east" Hollywood if anything, but probably just Hollywood.

    I used to go to Gold's gym in Hollywood, which had it's unique gay which I like to call Rupert Everett.
    This is basically, well, it's the actual actor himself. He would come into the gym with these black eyes searching over his prey until he'd lock onto the one he felt was the weakest. Once he had you in his sites you'd better hope that Fabio was near by (he was always near by) to help you!

    Seriously, Gold's seemed to be where all the closeted and not so closeted celebrities would go to cruise. I had such a crush on the actor who played The Flash, whom I'd see there from time-to-time.

    There's also the guy who takes more than one machine and leaves a water bottle, gloves, whatever to stake his place and won't let anyone intrude on his private party.

    Or the guy that wears street clothes, usually with Timberlands, at the gym and creates a huge scene while grunting with each rep.

    Or the socialite. He's the one that is in great shape even though all he does is lean on machines and talk to all the girls and guys.
  • slimnmuscly

    Posts: 541

    Dec 21, 2010 1:25 PM GMT
    My gym has a few Spot Me Once, Spot Me for the Rest of My Workout gays. They ask for -- or in some cases offer -- a spot; next thing you know, you're in a committed relationship with them as far as they're concerned.

    One variation on this is the gay who turns the enterprise into a full-blown training session, always with a smokin' hot guy less than half his age. Sometimes their bond lasts as many as two or three workouts before he's moved on to fresh untutored meat.
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    Dec 21, 2010 3:00 PM GMT
    Gay gyms?

    I prefer to be as non-sexual as possible when I'm surrounded by a dozen octogenarians, thin twinky girls and prattling teenage boys hogging all the equipment...
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    Dec 21, 2010 3:12 PM GMT
    I have seen some of those.
    The "The Locker Room Cruiser Gay" - there is guy at our gym who probably is in locker room for 2-3 hours everyday. He gives my a lot of creeps.

    "I want to show you my abs gay" - There are a few guys who want to show off their abs but only to impress some person in particular. So they pull their shirts up only when that person is around. If not they walk over to that person pretending as if they want to use something there but rarely do anything after showing off once more.
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    Dec 21, 2010 3:16 PM GMT
    makavelli saidGay gyms?

    I prefer to be as non-sexual as possible when I'm surrounded by a dozen octogenarians, thin twinky girls and prattling teenage boys hogging all the equipment...


    Sounds like my gym, lol

    There are a few hot guys at my gym that I'll check out between sets, but for the most part, I'm very antisocial at the gym. I work with the public, and the gym is the only time where I don't have to interact with anyone...ME time, ahhhhh icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 21, 2010 3:20 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidThe You Cruise You Lose Gay:
    He's the one who's sexing over half the guys in the gym on the DL, but tries to play Mr. Innocent by continuously screaming his anti-cruise hate all over the place as though it makes him sound all high and mighty and shit.


    This made me lol
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    Dec 21, 2010 3:53 PM GMT
    My gym is a straight man's gym but I do tend to look around sometimes.I usually look at their techniques and training.

    Don't really have anyone there who is super hot though. Most are every day executives, former body builders and rug rats guys like meicon_lol.gif

    However I am there to work out so I turn my ipod on and start the routine....

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    Dec 21, 2010 4:10 PM GMT
    We have the Peak Into the Shower Stall Gay. On more than one occassion I have caught him making a lap down the showers peaking into the ones that are occupied. He very clearly peaked over the shower curtain of my shower and I embarrassed him and made him run by saying "WTF DUDE?!"

    He is pretty ballsy to do this too because we are in very conservative straight suburbia in Georgia.
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    Dec 21, 2010 4:15 PM GMT
    Oh and I just have to add Show off in the shower gay who you don't want to see show off. You know that feeling when you know someone is staring at you? Well you can tell, so you can't help but look over, even if you try not to for a while, and you see and old wrinkly man with his curtain half open staring straight at you with his erect nasty dick staring straigh at you too...UGH
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    Dec 21, 2010 4:37 PM GMT
    you know what is weird... I've always hear of these types... But NEVER have seen them... And I've been to 3 different gyms!
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    Dec 21, 2010 4:50 PM GMT
    I enjoyed a consideration of the components here. The fundamental ingredients of this conversation.

    A Gym: "Gymnos" = naked (think: body, mind, and spirit)

    People: Guys....social animals

    An Ideal: Our higher and better selves


    I am an artist and a stylist, and I have lived in my neighborhood for 12 years. The new 24hr, high end monstrosity of flesh, is not an eyesore per se, and most certainly a very well conceived design.
    Everyone joined.
    So: now I see people, or people see me. My fishing cap disguise is perfunctory. The one thing I can't stand is when I know someone is looking at me and projecting some judgement.

    I forgive myself, for seeing myself as; someone who doesn't fit in naturally.


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    Dec 21, 2010 4:54 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidThe You Cruise You Lose Gay:
    He's the one who's sexing over half the guys in the gym on the DL, but tries to play Mr. Innocent by continuously screaming his anti-cruise hate all over the place as though it makes him sound all high and mighty and shit.


    Obviously a Locker Room Cruiser Gay and angry that someone is calling him out on his creepiness.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19129

    Dec 21, 2010 5:01 PM GMT
    I'm sort of in my own little world while working out, headphones on, try to get it done and out of there. There is one guy though that always sticks out. He works out in street clothes and flip flops. I don't know why, but it works my nerves -- like get a pair of gym shorts for god's sakes icon_eek.gif
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    Dec 21, 2010 5:02 PM GMT
    KSUOWL saidOh and I just have to add Show off in the shower gay who you don't want to see show off. You know that feeling when you know someone is staring at you? Well you can tell, so you can't help but look over, even if you try not to for a while, and you see and old wrinkly man with his curtain half open staring straight at you with his erect nasty dick staring straigh at you too...UGH


    ACK! This guy's cousin was a regular at my gym in London. He was probably in his early to mid-50s and for some reason preferred to walk around the change room in nothing but white sweatsocks. Sure, ok, be proud of what you've got, but if you're going to use the blow-drier on your toes, is it really necessary to do it by hinging straight forward at the waist with no underwear on? I still have flashbacks...
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    Dec 21, 2010 5:04 PM GMT
    hazardous said

    Obviously a Locker Room Cruiser Gay and angry that someone is calling him out on his creepiness.


    Hmm, LRC-Gay at my gym is more like mid-30s, needs a whole bench to himself for his outfits & toiletries, but agreed, spends much more time walking around the gym with a scowl on his face, towel wrapped around his waist, than he ever does on the gym floor working out.

    By the way, to the OP---I love the way you write!
  • kencarson

    Posts: 224

    Dec 21, 2010 5:22 PM GMT
    I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING GUY

    This guy is usually walking around the gym looking at other guys, not because he's checking them out, but because he doesn't know what he's doing. This guy will usually leisurely walk on the elliptical for about 10 minutes or so, do one or two sets of bicep curls, and end up using every machine completely wrong. This guy can either be old, or young, and he has good intentions, but until he picks up a Men's Health, or gets a trainer, he's just taking up space.
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    Dec 21, 2010 5:24 PM GMT
    I go to a straight gym and I'm pretty sure 99.9% of the guys who go there would be homophobic as Hell. My favorite lately has been.

    Clog up the toilet guy:

    He always leaves large samples of the supplements his body didn't absorb so we can see how great they look and smell when they're coming out the other end. Then he decorates it with an astronomical amount of white tissue, then leaves it to marinate *gag.*