CHEATING!!! Okay in the Gay World? What the Hell?

  • jslifting

    Posts: 114

    Dec 21, 2010 11:27 PM GMT
    Cheating, is it acceptable in the gay world?

    I was talking to a friend of mine and he just randomly says, I think I want to cheat on my boyfriend (Been dating over a year or more).

    This is how the conversation goes:

    Me: What?!?! Are you kidding? Why?

    Him: Oh, I just want to. It gets us both off.

    Me: What? For real? Wow... I would be pissed.

    Him: No. You apparently are just not experienced enough in the Gay World.

    Me: What does that mean? I am pretty experienced

    Him: Apparently not, you have to realize, in the Gay World, it's okay to cheat. It's just sex. Men like sex,

    Me: Well in my world, it's not okay. If I am in a committed relationship, it's committed. No cheating.

    Him: You will learn... After being cheated on so much, it used to hurt me, but now I have learned it is just how things work.


    I was shocked... has it really come to this. That people cheat so much that people think it is a normal part of a relationship? If so, I don't want to be in a normal relationship.
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Dec 21, 2010 11:30 PM GMT
    I think gay men can more easily come to an agreement about sexual activity outside the relationship if it's what both partner's want, but cheating, i.e. sex behind the other partner's back, is never okay. Your "friend" is delusional.
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    Dec 21, 2010 11:30 PM GMT
    jslifting said
    Him: Oh, I just want to. It gets us both off.



    This statement makes me think he is talking more about an 'open relationship' than 'cheating'.
  • jslifting

    Posts: 114

    Dec 21, 2010 11:33 PM GMT
    I understand the thoughts of an open relationship... but he says basically that they like to slip around and do it, so the other accidentally finds outs. Just to hear him talk... it was as if it was nothing and that it was a normal part of any relationships.. because everyone cheats.
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Dec 21, 2010 11:35 PM GMT
    jslifting saidI understand the thoughts of an open relationship... but he says basically that they like to slip around and do it, so the other accidentally finds outs. Just to hear him talk... it was as if it was nothing and that it was a normal part of any relationships.. because everyone cheats.


    If they've both agreed that they can "slip around" then it's not cheating, it's an agreement they've come to about their sexual relationship. I think it's more common in gay relationships than straight ones, but that doesn't mean that it's universal.

    Many people nowadays think monogamy is impossible. Check out Dan Savage and see what he says.
  • brycetippe

    Posts: 688

    Dec 21, 2010 11:41 PM GMT
    LOL. If a man actually wants to be with me, he better not fucking cheat. No second chances. That is fucking retarded.
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    Dec 22, 2010 12:11 AM GMT
    I'm another one of those weirdos who, in a committed relationship, is committed and won't j/o or have sex with someone else besides my SO. it's just not me.

    Where oh where is my SO?! icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Dec 22, 2010 12:40 AM GMT
    brycetippe saidLOL. If a man actually wants to be with me, he better not fucking cheat. No second chances. That is fucking retarded.


    careful what you set in stone, bryce, it may come back to haunt you,,,remember, you will be living with human faults, no matter who it is....Keithicon_cool.gif
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    Dec 22, 2010 1:59 AM GMT
    Those two have agreed to trick and not tell each other, and their head game is to find out about it (bit of an odd thrill, that one) so it's not cheating. Your friend is silly to say so.

    Cheating is lying. Cheating is tricking on the DL, because you know it will hurt your partner.

    It's not OK.

    -Doug
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    Dec 22, 2010 2:11 AM GMT
    Cheating is not for me! I know that when you hear people say stuff like what your friend said it can shock you but there are people like your friend out there.

    Just remember that not every gay guy is like that. Be clear with any guys you start dating and let them know that its not ok with you.

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    Dec 22, 2010 2:49 AM GMT
    jslifting saidI understand the thoughts of an open relationship... but he says basically that they like to slip around and do it, so the other accidentally finds outs. Just to hear him talk... it was as if it was nothing and that it was a normal part of any relationships.. because everyone cheats.


    Unfortunately, I think that cheating is more acceptable in the gay world. I agree with your definition of relationship...you should be committed to your partner only.
  • DarkSensation

    Posts: 715

    Dec 22, 2010 2:54 AM GMT

    I think i would accept my Boyfriend Cheating on me with a woman... only...but any other case, i'll get my whip on him icon_twisted.gif
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    Dec 22, 2010 2:59 AM GMT
    brycetippe saidLOL. If a man actually wants to be with me, he better not fucking cheat. No second chances. That is fucking retarded.



    Same here buddy! the first and probably only rule I expect in a relationship is monogamy, and if the boyfriend fails even if it is his first time I give no second chances, gosh the first time and he is out!


    Leandro ♥
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    Dec 22, 2010 3:05 AM GMT
    Open relationship is fine, but cheating isnt.. cheating = lying... in a relationship yo should be honest
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    Dec 22, 2010 3:07 AM GMT
    Cheating on the one you love, or for some men, supposedly love, is NEVER okay! Why be in a relationship if you want to screw around with other men? I get the impression, unfortunately, that some gay men feel that it is alright to cheat since we are gay men and since we can't help it then we might as well cheat. I'm sorry but that is a lame ass excuse!
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    Dec 22, 2010 3:08 AM GMT
    lol.

    Idiot. icon_razz.gif
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    Dec 22, 2010 3:12 AM GMT
    It's okay if both partners say it's okay. Then again, if both partners say it's okay, it wouldn't be cheating. icon_confused.gif
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    Dec 22, 2010 3:17 AM GMT
    Your friends logic and grasp of things is cause for concern.

    I would suggest NEVER asking him for any advice.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Dec 22, 2010 3:23 AM GMT
    Dude....That's his reality...not yours....He's in a fucked up relationship and he views everybody else is in his same boat....Build your own boat and sail on to true happiness....Good Luck.....BUD
  • Syphon

    Posts: 366

    Dec 22, 2010 3:36 AM GMT
    If it's a mutual agreement, then sure, I don't see a problem with it since it's technically not 'cheating', it's an open relationship.

    I personally don't share, you're either mine or you're not. If you want another guy bad enough to go behind my back and lie about it, then obviously there is something wrong with our relationship to begin with and we probably shouldn't be together. =/
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    Dec 22, 2010 3:38 AM GMT
    sashaman saidIt's okay if both partners say it's okay. Then again, if both partners say it's okay, it wouldn't be cheating. icon_confused.gif



    I agree! so as long as the partnership agreed to it and one of the two does not feel pressured in the agreement, then it is perfectly o.k! but if one of the two is unaware of the cheating it is not o.k! it is cheating and cheating is lying, and lying is WRONG in any way shape or form!


    Leandro ♥
  • Little_Spoon

    Posts: 1562

    Dec 22, 2010 3:40 AM GMT
    In my opinion. Gay men are a lot more open to Open Relationships.

    I don't know why, but that's just the observation.
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    Dec 22, 2010 3:46 AM GMT
    I always got the impression that the dynamics of gay relationships meant that I had to expect to be in an open one by default. It seemed like monogamy isn't very appreciated.

    But then again, I'm flirting with this guy and I'm trying to get on his good side. I think he likes me back, and I'd love a relationship with him. He actually does care about exclusive monogamy. And you know something? I wanna go on board with that. I think it's sweet and becoming. He values commitment, and it makes him all the more attractive. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 22, 2010 3:57 AM GMT
    I would leave any basterd that EVER DARES to cheat on me. I'm not joking. I don't care WHO you think you are. YOU CHEAT ON ME, I'll leave your ass before you can wink.

    I also might bust his ride's windows on my way out.

    No joke.

  • Dec 22, 2010 3:58 AM GMT
    yeah... not cool, in anyworld. just found out that i was the third wheel.... least to say i'm pissed