Happy for no hook-up.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 21, 2008 5:12 AM GMT
    I have passed a personal test today and am very happy with myself for it.

    For many years I have always said that I would never want to have sexy with anyone that I don't have feelings for. Well today I was talking to a old friend from high school who just broke up with his BF a couple weeks ago. We talked about old time in HS and about what we were up to now. I told him I just came out this year and was trying to get into the dateing sceene. After a bit he had to go and I had to get back to work (hurray for slacking off at work), so we exchanged cell numbers and said we'd keep in touch.

    Close to the end of my shift I got a text from him and it as kinda flirty. I responded with some flirtation of my own, one thing led to another and we had exchanged some juicy pics of our happy bits lol. After that he sends me a text asking if I wanted to come over and loose my virginity. icon_eek.gif . I will say I was very tempted, I'm horny as hell (always lol) and am eager for my first time, but decided that I still wish to have feelings for anyone that I get it on with.

    I am very happy to say that I don't regret turning down the hook-up. Yes, I want sex (badly) but also want it to mean something for me.
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Mar 21, 2008 6:01 AM GMT
    Well, good for you for having the will-power then.

    And it's good to see you again...finally!!!
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    Mar 21, 2008 7:24 AM GMT
    Geez, today your pedestal in my head becomes a permanent fixture! Attaboy, FNM!!!
    Okay, I have a confession to make... I called my ex (who's now in a relationship) and I begged him to have sex with me like 'the good ol' times'. Of course I know he'd turn me down, which he did.
    I thought I needed to be told that by himself.

    So now, it's safe for me to say that no one wants to have sex with me. That's my life so faricon_cry.gif
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    Mar 21, 2008 7:42 AM GMT
    So low.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Mar 21, 2008 10:25 AM GMT
    I applaud your wanting sex to mean something...

    But you sent him pics of your happy bits ?

    That doesn't coincide icon_confused.gif
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    Mar 21, 2008 2:39 PM GMT
    GQjock saidI applaud your wanting sex to mean something...

    But you sent him pics of your happy bits ?

    That doesn't coincide icon_confused.gif


    Definitely sending mixed messages there, but then again.... you're a guy. I'm not sure that's not to be expected.
  • BlackJock79

    Posts: 437

    Mar 21, 2008 2:46 PM GMT
    WOW... if I had held out for sex unless I had feelings I would have only had one sexual partner instead of... ummmm.... I'm NOT going there. LOL, that's great you hold out for that special guy.
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    Mar 21, 2008 2:51 PM GMT
    Well I am happy for you. I must admit I would have rather have waited to have sex with a guy when I had feelings for him. But when you go without human affection and touch for more than a year, you sometimes get frustrated!

    I must admit some of the best sex I have ever had is with guys I had just met. Sometimes you just click sexually then let the fireworks begin. Yippee!
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    Mar 21, 2008 2:53 PM GMT
    *applause* :-)

    I can relate. I have only had sex with those I've had an intimate relationship with--except for one guy, and that was over two years ago.

    The last time someone touched me in a suggestive way was in the gym sauna. I kindly told him, "Sorry, that's not what I'm here for."

    My friends have told me many times that I should try playing the field, but I've decided it's not for me.
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    Mar 21, 2008 2:58 PM GMT
    apatow-40-year-old-virgin.jpg
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    Mar 21, 2008 3:01 PM GMT
    My "hook-ups" usually end up thinking we are married and the guys I have feeling for end up as one-nighters.
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    Mar 21, 2008 3:10 PM GMT
    Good job buddy, that is your way of the ninja.

    I admire that you were true to yourself.

    "we had exchanged some juicy pics of our happy bits LOL."
    - Laughed my ass off.
  • irishkcguy

    Posts: 780

    Mar 21, 2008 3:15 PM GMT
    I'm going to get roasted for this but I will say it anyway. I think the reason there seem to be so many dysfunctional relationships in the gay community is because the traditional courtship part of dating gets skipped over. People hop right into bed and then start dating, treating the hook-up like an audition. Their relationship is based on sex instead of love and as the sex gets old (which is inevitable) there is nothing there to prop up the relationship.
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    Mar 21, 2008 3:22 PM GMT
    irishkcguy saidI'm going to get roasted for this but I will say it anyway. I think the reason there seem to be so many dysfunctional relationships in the gay community is because the traditional courtship part of dating gets skipped over. People hop right into bed and then start dating, treating the hook-up like an audition. Their relationship is based on sex instead of love and as the sex gets old (which is inevitable) there is nothing there to prop up the relationship.


    Absolutely Irish, I don't think that can be argued. There has to be some sort of connection for when the sex isn't as exciting and I don't buy the idea that it will never get old, it does. That's why people "roam". Holding out, dating and getting to know someone allows you to concentrate on those other interests that will carry the relationship over the long haul. Thanks for bringing it up...very good point!
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    Mar 21, 2008 3:30 PM GMT
    zimatar saidGeez, today your pedestal in my head becomes a permanent fixture! Attaboy, FNM!!!
    Okay, I have a confession to make... I called my ex (who's now in a relationship) and I begged him to have sex with me like 'the good ol' times'. Of course I know he'd turn me down, which he did.
    I thought I needed to be told that by himself.

    So now, it's safe for me to say that no one wants to have sex with me. That's my life so faricon_cry.gif


    Zimatar, is that Ryan Seacrest licking you? icon_question.gificon_wink.gif
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    Mar 21, 2008 3:49 PM GMT
    zimatar saidGeez, today your pedestal in my head becomes a permanent fixture! Attaboy, FNM!!!
    Okay, I have a confession to make... I called my ex (who's now in a relationship) and I begged him to have sex with me like 'the good ol' times'. Of course I know he'd turn me down, which he did.
    I thought I needed to be told that by himself.

    So now, it's safe for me to say that no one wants to have sex with me. That's my life so faricon_cry.gif




    Sorry boo!!! icon_wink.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 21, 2008 3:50 PM GMT
    good boy! BUT that whole scenario was HOTTTTT lol icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 21, 2008 3:51 PM GMT
    irishkcguy saidI'm going to get roasted for this but I will say it anyway. I think the reason there seem to be so many dysfunctional relationships in the gay community is because the traditional courtship part of dating gets skipped over. People hop right into bed and then start dating, treating the hook-up like an audition. Their relationship is based on sex instead of love and as the sex gets old (which is inevitable) there is nothing there to prop up the relationship.


    I TOTALLY agree with you!!! We go backwards; sex, then court, then OMG! 'What was I thinking!?!?!?'
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    Mar 21, 2008 3:54 PM GMT
    I don't see why this is something to get on a soapbox about. Sex on first date, no sex on first date, whatever you feel comfortable with. I refuse to be drawn into "traditional morality".

    A poster on another thread was talking about how he doesn't even kiss or touch on the first date. Excuse me, even straight people do THAT.
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    Mar 21, 2008 3:55 PM GMT
    irishkcguy saidTheir relationship is based on sex instead of love and as the sex gets old (which is inevitable) there is nothing there to prop up the relationship.


    Amen to that.

    Though, there are people whose one-nighters ended up as strong relationships. Hit and miss, like a lottery. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Mar 21, 2008 3:57 PM GMT
    Freakyninjamonkey CONGRATS on you will power and sticking to your moral guns, that's AWESOME, commendable and a turn on to see someone stick to their 'guns'!!! Definitely NOT to take away from your experience and this has nothing to do with you, I just believe that the '1st time' should NOT be with someone you 'LOVE'! Only because of the emotions that get intertwined in the process. Plus you wanna learn about it and you're probably SO HARD up that you'll probably prematurely ejaculate. Just my thoughts on the topic in general...

    Ok, don't ROAST me TOO hard guys!!!
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    Mar 21, 2008 4:08 PM GMT
    I'm gonna have to go with jp on this one...

    I guess it's great that you set a personal goal and kept it, but jeez...don't we all do that every day?

    I'd really like to eat brownies for lunch, but I don't.

    Should I start a thread and get praise from everyone?

    I kinda feel sorry for the guy who gets your nut the first time, ninja..I mean Holy Expectations!

    20060612_brownies.jpg

    you want it, don't ya?!
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19138

    Mar 21, 2008 4:08 PM GMT
    Not sure where I stand on this...nothing really wrong with a hookup in my opinion as long as it's safe, discreet, both are single, and no one gets hurt. On the other hand, if you even have an inkling that the other person is boyfriend material, I'd hold off and see if you click in other ways first. That said, I have found sometimes that if you hold off too long, the sex doesn't always live up to the hype :-)
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    Mar 21, 2008 4:25 PM GMT
    tommysguns2000 saidI'm gonna have to go with jp on this one...

    I guess it's great that you set a personal goal and kept it, but jeez...don't we all do that every day?

    I'd really like to eat brownies for lunch, but I don't.

    Should I start a thread and get praise from everyone?

    I kinda feel sorry for the guy who gets your nut the first time, ninja..I mean Holy Expectations!

    20060612_brownies.jpg

    you want it, don't ya?!



    THAT'S ALL I'm saying......
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 21, 2008 4:31 PM GMT
    i like hooking up whenever possible.