AverageAndrew saidI have meet some great guys in my life. But I want that someone to be there for me. I want that feeling of love, not lust. Is that wrong.
More of the question, are there others, that feel the same way?
I agree with Mybud and Samm77 pretty much. Looking for it is frustrating.
Love is VERY necessary for me in a connection with another man.
What I have found it to be a more productive quest in real life, and NOT online. The modern world drives people to compulsive level of interaction with instant-on online connections. Single guys flicker like moths around a light at night, and are here then gone for the distraction of the next person to connect too. Online trades quantity for quality, big time, and erodes the very connection that one typically is looking for.
So in my view, it is wrong to look for it online, but right in the whole. I focus on it in real-time, with people that are present and willing, involved and engageable, for common activities, interests, and perspectives, as I live my life, for this is what is all about in the first place.
Thankfully I live in a big city with lots of out people and activities, so this is an easy perspective. But in the end, it is frustrating, this wanting an emotional connection, as many gay men have an insulation layer either from prior life experiences or from current ones from their gay life and times. The rest, well... they have already found it. That is how it seems at times.
My thoughts when I feel a connection happening are:
1) Is this guy attractive, either physically or mentally ?
2) Does he have any unresolvable problematic issues under the surface?
3) Is he working at or does he care about being a better person in any ways?
4) Does he have any history of relationships or skills for same, communication, honesty, expressive, emotionally available?
5) Are his values in line with mine? What are they? How can I tell?
6) Do we have anything in common that brings us together in the first place? This is really the first basis for connection actually, but if that is not happening then it nothing will.
If the things above exist, then there is a good chance that an emotional feeling and connection can develop into love.
This I know. Love has always happened to me in at the least expected moment, usually when I am sharing something I love to do and doing it with someone that has the same passion. I can't seek it out for the mere act of trying to observe it will make it disappear. I have to just be in the moment, be centered happy and grounded, and then sometimes it will present, all on its own. Looking for it is a waste of time and a disservice to myself and to others. It is not something that you can find, it is something that just happens, something that you get, when you are lucky and the universe is shining on you, usually because you deserve it and something in a cosmic sense recognizes this and wants it for you. That is what I think.
Probably long, lame, and hokey to most, but that's my skinny on it.