My heart is in a Grindr...

  • CarbGoggles

    Posts: 705

    Dec 25, 2010 2:49 AM GMT
    Met this dude on Grindr just before Thanksgiving. We've been talking on Grindr, text and over the phone every day for the last 3 weeks. I've basically been speaking from my heart and dude has been reciprocating with likewise sentiments. This morning he called and woke me up saying he wished I were in bed w/ him at that very moment so he could hug and cuddle w/ me.

    When we met on Grindr a month ago he happened to be in my city visiting fam for Thanksgiving. Right now he's 300+ miles away... After his call this morning I got the bright idea hey what if I flew out to you and spend New Years w/ you. The mood rapidly changed... I thought we were on the same page but now he is saying he wants me to come but at the same time he's scared what if I don't like him the moment I meet him and I am stuck in his city till my return flt. He doesn't want our first meeting to be so rushed and with NYE rolled in to the mix blah blah blah...

    I told him dude don't worry about it. It's all good I'll just see you in Feb like we originally planned. Then he pulls back and says but maybe we should just do it and you should fly out... He's with family at the moment for Christmas. Meanwhile I'm here alone in the 4th ring of Hell known as Dayton, Ohio.

    The more I think of it the more I'm kinda hurt. For the last week he has been saying I miss you and I wish you were here w/ me. I'm about to go Oprah on that $#!t and make it happen but he backed up on me. Now I feel like everything he said was just lip service. After talking w/ this guy about eeeeeeeverything for the last month I've developed some emotional attachment to him.

    I really like this guy and I thought he liked me but I guess he's still unsure of me. Right now I'm just waiting on him to decide if I can come spend NYE w/ him or not. I really didn't care either way at first but because he was so stumped by my idea I don't know what to think any more icon_sad.gif Anybody got any suggestions on where I should go from here.
  • CarbGoggles

    Posts: 705

    Dec 25, 2010 2:51 AM GMT
    Oh I'm also trying to drowned out my holiday blues w/ brownies and shocktop icon_cry.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 25, 2010 2:54 AM GMT
    CarbGoggles saidMet this dude on Grindr ...
    From that point on, I LOL'd.
    I have no experience with Grindr, but so far I haven't heard about a single "romance" story from that app...just random hookups.
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    Dec 25, 2010 3:08 AM GMT
    So you've not met this guy in person, yet?
  • CarbGoggles

    Posts: 705

    Dec 25, 2010 3:36 AM GMT
    unfounded7 saidSo you've not met this guy in person, yet?
    Nope not in person. Only talked on the phone and texted several times daily. It is possible he is not who he presents himself to be but I don't think that's the case. Yes I do want to meet him but more so I hate Dayton and I just wanna go do something fun and mildly reckless.
  • CarbGoggles

    Posts: 705

    Dec 25, 2010 3:40 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    CarbGoggles saidMet this dude on Grindr ...
    From that point on, I LOL'd.
    I have no experience with Grindr, but so far I haven't heard about a single "romance" story from that app...just random hookups.
    Are you serious? I heard Lance Bass and Reichen Lehmkuhl met on Grindr along w/ R2D2 and C3PO. It's not all hookups, Paul icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Dec 25, 2010 3:41 AM GMT
    CarbGoggles saidOh I'm also trying to drowned out my holiday blues w/ brownies and shocktop icon_cry.gif


    eww, shocktop!

    first get rid of that stuff. i'd just try to be more patient. he's still some guy you've met of the internet basically. this is christmas/new years time and things can get complicated with events going around. i wouldn't push making a shortly planned excursion over there to meet him right now. keep things going till the planned meeting in february. if he starts to flake out on that then i'd start to give some thought of moving on from this guy.
  • NerdLifter

    Posts: 1509

    Dec 25, 2010 3:50 AM GMT
    PhxNativ271828 said
    CarbGoggles saidOh I'm also trying to drowned out my holiday blues w/ brownies and shocktop icon_cry.gif


    eww, shocktop!

    first get rid of that stuff. i'd just try to be more patient. he's still some guy you've met of the internet basically. this is christmas/new years time and things can get complicated with events going around. i wouldn't push making a shortly planned excursion over there to meet him right now. keep things going till the planned meeting in february. if he starts to flake out on that then i'd start to give some thought of moving on from this guy.


    This.

    But as a word of advice, don't lose sight of the fact you have only known this person through digital correspondence. Digital-flake-syndrome is all too common. Many guys here on RealJock can attest to doing one of these long-distance excursions with someone they met online then getting seriously burned (both emotionally and in their pocket book).
  • CarbGoggles

    Posts: 705

    Dec 25, 2010 3:52 AM GMT
    PhxNativ271828 said
    CarbGoggles saidOh I'm also trying to drowned out my holiday blues w/ brownies and shocktop icon_cry.gif


    eww, shocktop!

    first get rid of that stuff. i'd just try to be more patient. he's still some guy you've met of the internet basically. this is christmas/new years time and things can get complicated with events going around. i wouldn't push making a shortly planned excursion over there to meet him right now. keep things going till the planned meeting in february. if he starts to flake out on that then i'd start to give some thought of moving on from this guy.


    Ewwwwwwz shocktop make's everybody look hawter LOL!!!
  • CarbGoggles

    Posts: 705

    Dec 25, 2010 3:54 AM GMT
    Studinprogress said
    PhxNativ271828 said
    CarbGoggles saidOh I'm also trying to drowned out my holiday blues w/ brownies and shocktop icon_cry.gif


    eww, shocktop!

    first get rid of that stuff. i'd just try to be more patient. he's still some guy you've met of the internet basically. this is christmas/new years time and things can get complicated with events going around. i wouldn't push making a shortly planned excursion over there to meet him right now. keep things going till the planned meeting in february. if he starts to flake out on that then i'd start to give some thought of moving on from this guy.


    This.

    But as a word of advice, don't lose sight of the fact you have only known this person through digital correspondence. Digital-flake-syndrome is all too common.
    Very true. I guess I'm so chill about everything that I could care less if he lied to me or not. As long as he picks me up and drops me off at the airport I really don't care.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 25, 2010 8:25 AM GMT
    A virtual backhanded slap to jolt you into reality.

    The imagination has this amazing ability to conjure up all kinds of thoughts and feelings especially when you have yet to meet the person who is eons away.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 25, 2010 8:26 AM GMT
    what's a big man like U acting like a lil girl?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 25, 2010 8:40 AM GMT
    fasterpace saidwhat's a big man like U acting like a lil girl?


    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
    oh, he's just blinded by infatuation.

    Studinprogress said
    This.

    But as a word of advice, don't lose sight of the fact you have only known this person through digital correspondence. Digital-flake-syndrome is all too common. Many guys here on RealJock can attest to doing one of these long-distance excursions with someone they met online then getting seriously burned (both emotionally and in their pocket book).


    i would plan a vacation like that if it's time for my own vacation. plan b if he flakes out and plan a if he doesn't. still would suck though.
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    Dec 25, 2010 8:53 AM GMT
    i just say one thing....anything you will decide to do... don't get into him too seriously, if he lives that far, that will be really bad...long distance stuff is sucks, think about it, if you like him that much and you haven't met him, what would be if you met him and you like him in person too, and you have to leave back to your city?....that's my opinion but i did that for few months, i was in relationship with a guy who is out of state, for me it was four and half, five hours bus ride, i felt i have relationship with my phone....that was a bad idea, i wouldn't do it again, for me guys just from the city where i live...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 25, 2010 9:02 AM GMT
    It's obvious need to find time to meet up again to see if it's more then just a digital thing. But don't waste your money and rush out for it. If it's meant to be you could go visit in February and things would still workout. icon_cool.gif

    And don't feel alone in your fourth ring of hell...I'm in the second ring struggling too. haha
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    Dec 25, 2010 9:12 AM GMT
    Do it.

    I met this guy on Facebook who was a friend of a friend. Anyway, he lives interstate and we got on well just chatting online and on Skype that night so I thought, fuck it, and bought a ticket that coming weekend and met him.

    So sure, it didn't work out in the long run, but it was fun in retrospect to do something for the hell of it and be impulsive.

    You and this might not click, but you also might. Don't over think it. Do it.
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    Dec 25, 2010 9:24 AM GMT
    Why are people so emotional...?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 25, 2010 9:35 AM GMT
    I don't think u should put urself in a situation where it's not easy to go back. and its possible that you want this guy to be the guy you're thinking of in your head when in fact he's nothing at all what u think he is.
  • Ironman4U

    Posts: 738

    Dec 25, 2010 11:43 AM GMT
    I feel for you man. I, too, tend to get more emotionally attached and it can get hard. You think you have a GREAT connection and talk daily and then you realize that you're getting lip service or he's not exactly who he appears to be, etc.

    Pay close attention to the signals that he gives you when you want to advance the relationship to the next step (meeting) so you can protect yourself as needed.. If you're a guy that follows your heart and is willing to be spontaneous and romantic, and he's not, there may be other things where your expectations and his don't match up. Explore them as honestly as you can and be ok with whatever the outcome. And put in perspective that the "virtual" relationship is not enough to get your hopes up. Until you meet in person, you don't know about chemistry, etc. which is essential for anything further to develop.

    I actually have a good friend who is the opposite to me when it comes to emotional attachment. So I'll share my stories with him and he'll give me his take which is always the opposite of mine. While I don't always agree with his advice, it's a good reality check for me and it helps me put things in perspective.

    Hope things work out man. In the meantime...brownies...YUM.
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    Dec 25, 2010 12:22 PM GMT
    You haven't met in person?
    THIS IS YOUR GUY on GRINDR..

    obese_fat_guy.jpg
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    Dec 25, 2010 2:10 PM GMT
    Well..

    Too funny of a story. This morning someone messaged me on grindr. And, sent me their picture. Well, my ex must have sent him his x rated photo, because this dude sent it to me as himself.

    I recognized the mirror, the picture on the wall, the lamp the bed, and well the person.

    I write back, so that's you eh? 'Yes Sir'.... Hmm my reply. I happen to know that person and they are not in town this weekend.

    He blocked me and all is better in the Universe. I just LOVE that my Ex's photo is now getting passed around as someone else.

    All that is on Grindr is not gold.
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    Dec 25, 2010 2:14 PM GMT
    Go for it. You have nothing better to do. At worst, you'll save yourself two more months of bullshit. At best . . .
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    Dec 25, 2010 2:48 PM GMT
    On the bright side, if he stands you up or if it doesn't pan out as expected, you can find someone else on GRINDR to become infatuated with. icon_razz.gif

    Good things can happen on GRINDR (I've been dating a guy for 6+ months who I started conversing with on GRINDR), but from personal experience, most people are cock gobblers who want to swap photos and have no intention of meeting, etc.
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    Dec 25, 2010 3:15 PM GMT
    Have you ever turned on Grindr and it messes up your GPS location so it shows everyone at 0 feet away. You start chatting with people and then when you relog back on Grindr they are like 35809 feet away. That shit sucks.

    Anyways, I could understand where he is coming from. If you guys meet and he thinks you're gross (not saying that you are) then he would have to deal with you until you left. I certainly would not want to spend my new years eve babysitting someone I think is gross. To be safe I would meet during a non-eventful weekend where the other person being gross won't be a buzz kill. This is probably best for you too because he could be gross. You know the saying "better safe than gross"
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    Dec 25, 2010 3:26 PM GMT
    Let him make the next move. That will take the pressure and stress off of you.