JasonMuscle saidWe've been dating almost 2 months but today will be first time meeting his parents and lots of his relatives. He says there all mostly gay-friendly but he's got an uncle who's not. Is it ok for us to hold hands or sit close or show any affection there? Should I even care what they think?
When in doubt I do what the straight couples are doing. Typically at most family gatherings I've attended the straight couples do NOT hold hands or show a great deal of affection, except to sit near each other and be attentive, getting the other drinks, snacks and so forth. Most married straight couples act like best friends in public, not like passionate lovers, including at family functions. Keep that model in mind when you're there.
As for the difficult uncle, I've faced this problem before myself, most recently with my partner's homophobic older brother. I was told he was an old grouch, hated gays, likely to give me a hard time and to insult me. Nothing I like better than a challenge! And no guy is gonna intimidate me.
So the first time I was to meet him, at their sister's house, I quickly figured out which one was him all by myself when we got there. Without waiting for an introduction I walked right over to him and introduced myself with a big smile, taking the initiative. I'd already learned what his favorite hobbies and interests were, and made sure to work those into the conversation, falling back into butch Army Colonel mode.
Long story short, we've been on the best of terms ever since. Even was his house guest for 10 days in Massachusetts in September, along with his brother my partner, which totally astonished him, first time that had ever happened. I believe in taking the bull by the horns, cause that's what a lot of these guys understand and respect.
Obviously not sure about this uncle of your BF's, or what you're like yourself, but do consider that tactic as an option. You're younger than me, with less life experiences to bring into a conversation with an older man. But if nothing else act confident (though not arrogant), unafraid, friendly and gracious. Even if he does insult you, take it in stride, knowing that the rest of the family will likely be on your side.
And yes, I think you should care what they think. I've always found my BF or partner's family to be my best allies, why I cultivated them, along with pleasing my BF or partner. And in time good friends, like today, when once again we'll be guests of his sister for Christmas dinner. She calls me her other brother, and she's my sister, a member of my own family now. Wouldn't you like that for yourself?