radicalguy saidAlright, so for some yrs now I have denied who I really am (gay). Even lying and sayin to myself that im just str8/curious or bi curious. Im about to turn 23 and im urgin to come out. Theres however many factors that hold me back: mom is extremely religious, my dad is extremely macho and i know he wouldnt accept me as gay, im dating a girl right now, all my close guy friends are typical masculine jocks that are all about girls and beer. Im very masculine, howver theres people with an excellent gaydar so some people have wondered if im bi or gay..so by coming out I dont want people to say "i knew it". Well my point is that im scared if i come out my family would disown me and i will become friendless...and even breakin my girls heart :/.....any advice,stories or encouraging words are very much appreciated
Coming out is not easy. I remembered when i struggled about coming out, i went to my closest friends first. But they didn't believe me, thought i was joking. The conversation went like this:
F: I had the perfect girl for u. R u free Friday night?
Me: Well. If you r going to set me up, find me a burly guy to cuddle with. (Str8 face, no laughing)
F: hahahahahahaha. Good one. But seriously, r u in?
Me: No. I m into guys.
F: pffff. I will start looking then. (But they still tried to find me girls.)
Sorry, I gotta carried away. My suggestion will be:
1. make more friends. Do not need to gay friends. Can be those people who definitely open-minded about people being gay.
2. I think you still have a long way to go accepting your sexuality. One of my friends told me that the moment he knew he was ready to come out was when he was comfortable with people knowing. Once you construct this mindset, you don't really need to come out to everyone. You don't hear str8 guys going around telling people they are str8, do u?
. Just don't lie when they ask u. But in your case, you need to tell your girlfriend at least. It is not fair for her.
3. In terms of your jock friends, I don't know what you usually do or say when they start talking nasty about girls. It would make me uncomfortable.(lol, i m totally gay.) Again make more friends. If they don't accept u b/c u r gay, their loss.
4. About your families, always start with mom or siblings, not dad. Just find one who you think would be the most likely accepting it. If that went well, you can ask her/him to prepare others about the fact. You don't have to do it all at once.
5. If you are concerning about money, just wait until you graduate. Or you can start preparing yourself financially, prepare for the worst.
Enough said. I think trying to be comfortable being gay is the most important thing you need to work on.