DATING WEBSITES? Don't know where to go...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2010 1:14 AM GMT
    I'm just wondering if there are any dating websites that you have had particular success with. I've tried match.com, okcupid, zoosk and chemistry (which both of those you have to pay for). The profiles I do have I get like onc response every 2 weeks.

    I use adam4adam too but guys mainly want sex.

    I don't know where to go to meet a guy that actually wants a relationship and not fuck! gay.com used to be huge and now no one uses it anymore.

    Can anyone recommend any websites? I've tried craigslist too. Maybe I just shouldn't be dating...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2010 1:28 AM GMT
    um, i don't consider the web sites to actually be 'dating'....more like ebay for bois. You live in San Diego, brother,,,,there are one large shit load of gorgeous guys in that city, you included.....hit the pavement...try Inn on the Park, 5-10PM Friday nites on the rooftop.....don't go till around 7pm....if you can't find someone, the whole area around there is gay...still no luck?...then there's just no hope.....Keithicon_cool.gif
  • OutPhase

    Posts: 68

    Dec 27, 2010 2:30 AM GMT
    I am having the same issue as well and I agree with you. I had some luck with plentyoffish.com and just networking myself through people I know and meet. Just don't give up hope....or go straight icon_smile.gif
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Dec 27, 2010 2:35 AM GMT
    onexepshyn saidI'm just wondering if there are any dating websites that you have had particular success with. I've tried match.com, okcupid, zoosk and chemistry (which both of those you have to pay for). The profiles I do have I get like onc response every 2 weeks.

    I use adam4adam too but guys mainly want sex.

    I don't know where to go to meet a guy that actually wants a relationship and not fuck! gay.com used to be huge and now no one uses it anymore.

    Can anyone recommend any websites? I've tried craigslist too. Maybe I just shouldn't be dating...

    hell me either when you find out let me know. i am on match.com and there is chemistry and compatiablecompanions.com
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2010 2:36 AM GMT
    The best place to meet compatible people are when doing activities you enjoy. Friends of friends are also a good way of meeting someone. Your local gay friendly church or synagogue is a good place too.

    I wouldn't give up on match.com or something like it since new members join periodically, and your prince charming may not be online yet. Or maybe he's getting over a bad relationship and will be ready for someone new in a few months. At least that's what I tell myself when I wonder why match.com isn't producing results. icon_smile.gif

    Good luck.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2010 4:08 AM GMT
    onexepshyn saidI'm just wondering if there are any dating websites that you have had particular success with. I've tried match.com, okcupid, zoosk and chemistry (which both of those you have to pay for). The profiles I do have I get like onc response every 2 weeks.

    I use adam4adam too but guys mainly want sex.

    I don't know where to go to meet a guy that actually wants a relationship and not fuck! gay.com used to be huge and now no one uses it anymore.

    Can anyone recommend any websites? I've tried craigslist too. Maybe I just shouldn't be dating...



    It's been my experience gay websites suck - and not in a good way.

    perhaps you should become str8 icon_razz.gif
  • sexyjam

    Posts: 24

    Dec 27, 2010 4:19 AM GMT
    Ive been having the same problem. Most men are about the sex.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Dec 27, 2010 4:19 AM GMT
    Dating websites are for guys who can't walk into a club and pick up. You don't need one studly.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2010 5:05 AM GMT
    vetteset saidum, i don't consider the web sites to actually be 'dating'....more like ebay for bois. You live in San Diego, brother,,,,there are one large shit load of gorgeous guys in that city, you included.....hit the pavement...try Inn on the Park, 5-10PM Friday nites on the rooftop.....don't go till around 7pm....if you can't find someone, the whole area around there is gay...still no luck?...then there's just no hope.....Keithicon_cool.gif


    Yeah, I've been there before, as well as a lot of other bars in the area...but I don't have much luck meeting dudes at bars. I don't feel comfortable approaching people I don't know.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2010 5:06 AM GMT
    OutPhase saidI am having the same issue as well and I agree with you. I had some luck with plentyoffish.com and just networking myself through people I know and meet. Just don't give up hope....or go straight icon_smile.gif


    I was actually on plentyoffish cause my sister recommended it, and I only got one response, so after like 6 weeks I deleted my profile.
  • DarkSensation

    Posts: 715

    Dec 27, 2010 5:56 AM GMT


    You could Try OkCupid icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2010 6:00 AM GMT
    onexepshyn saidI don't know where to go to meet a guy that actually wants a relationship and not fuck!
    Have you tried a monastery?
  • Crucializer

    Posts: 389

    Dec 27, 2010 6:11 AM GMT
    onexepshyn said
    OutPhase saidI am having the same issue as well and I agree with you. I had some luck with plentyoffish.com and just networking myself through people I know and meet. Just don't give up hope....or go straight icon_smile.gif


    I was actually on plentyoffish cause my sister recommended it, and I only got one response, so after like 6 weeks I deleted my profile.


    Dude, if yur having a hard time, Im doomed! icon_biggrin.gif
  • rebelbeard

    Posts: 558

    Dec 27, 2010 6:17 AM GMT
    Honestly, all those sites are all the same and have all of the same people in your area. Manhunt/gay.com/a4a, etc etc. They make me feel weird knowing the person I am chatting with can also see the disgusting porn ads (not that I am judging porn, but constantly in your face makes it less than desirable). I have never tried Chemistry or any of those paid ones so I can't speak for those. You best bet....just wait until you bump into someone interesting in person. It sucks waiting but I think it will be worth it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2010 6:32 AM GMT
    sxydrkhair saidI wish I can grab a guy from different states or countries from my computer. lol All the hot guys live so far away!


    Man you're telling me! Either the opposite side of the U.S. or in Canada icon_mad.gif
  • Moishendlishu...

    Posts: 435

    Dec 27, 2010 6:41 AM GMT
    I hear ya man. Sometimes it seems impossible to find a good guy I'm attracted to who actually wants a date and not sex. I haven't actually paid for chemistry.com nor used match so that might be the next step. I like OK Cupid though, nothing sexual about that one at all.

    It's not big in SD but another good one is connexion.org. I love that site, very non sexual other than late night IM's that are easily ignored.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2010 6:50 AM GMT
    not to be overly dramatic, but San Diego has some of the worst dating record of any city, ask anyone who has lived here for more than 4 years. The west coast in general is bad, but San Diego is worst, even worse than LA to meet genuine people, and then further on go on a real date.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2010 6:56 AM GMT
    Andre_84 saidnot to be overly dramatic, but San Diego has some of the worst dating record of any city, ask anyone who has lived here for more than 4 years. The west coast in general is bad, but San Diego is worst, even worse than LA to meet genuine people, and then further on go on a real date.


    I officially think you and onexepshyn should go on a date icon_idea.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2010 7:00 AM GMT
    In the same boat icon_sad.gif

    whatever.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2010 7:11 AM GMT
    The best place to look is in my pants. Free membership for everyone! Like a door knob everyone gets a ______.
  • Moishendlishu...

    Posts: 435

    Dec 27, 2010 7:14 AM GMT
    Andre_84 saidnot to be overly dramatic, but San Diego has some of the worst dating record of any city, ask anyone who has lived here for more than 4 years. The west coast in general is bad, but San Diego is worst, even worse than LA to meet genuine people, and then further on go on a real date.


    I lived there for almost two years...this man speaks the truth. After 3 months I gave up on dating as the drama and overall fakeness of everyone I met made me realize I needed to get the hell out of there. I'm sure there are good people from SD or long term residents...but I sure as hell didn't meet them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2010 7:22 AM GMT
    Andre_84 saidnot to be overly dramatic, but San Diego has some of the worst dating record of any city, ask anyone who has lived here for more than 4 years. The west coast in general is bad, but San Diego is worst, even worse than LA to meet genuine people, and then further on go on a real date.


    Well, dating was not any easier in Phoenix when I lived there, but I did manage to have a few serious relationships. But come to think of it, I had a hard time dating when I lived in Chicago too. So, I have concluded that it's a gay thing.

    One could move to Omaha or Kansas, and try to find a down-to-earth guy, but there would only be ten to choose from!

    I do have to say that I think San Diego has the best looking guys of many cities I've been to. Although, I like the tall guys in Boston (however, it's not any easier to meet guys there).

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2010 7:26 AM GMT
    The Boston Tall Guys are a hot species indeed.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2010 7:44 AM GMT
    onexepshyn said
    Andre_84 saidnot to be overly dramatic, but San Diego has some of the worst dating record of any city, ask anyone who has lived here for more than 4 years. The west coast in general is bad, but San Diego is worst, even worse than LA to meet genuine people, and then further on go on a real date.


    Well, dating was not any easier in Phoenix when I lived there, but I did manage to have a few serious relationships. But come to think of it, I had a hard time dating when I lived in Chicago too. So, I have concluded that it's a gay thing.

    One could move to Omaha or Kansas, and try to find a down-to-earth guy, but there would only be ten to choose from!

    I do have to say that I think San Diego has the best looking guys of many cities I've been to. Although, I like the tall guys in Boston (however, it's not any easier to meet guys there).



    I think it's a gay thing also. Sadly.
  • gymlocker

    Posts: 159

    Dec 27, 2010 8:35 AM GMT
    A couple of things:

    You're 29 years old, good looking and in great shape. You need to make a little effort and I bet you'd have lots of dates.

    I would guess most guys are intimidated. They look at you and think that you're not attainable, so they don't try. And you don't try. So, you both just stand there and look at each other. Make the first effort.

    Meeting people in bars has not proven to be great for me over the years. A lot of gay men have problems with alcohol anyway, and if you go to bars to meet people, you're more likely to meet those types there. Or become one of those types. Find activities that you enjoy and you might get lucky.

    Face reality. Men like sex. It's not just gay men, it's something we're biologically, socially, psychologically and physically wired for. Gay men can get sex anywhere, anytime for the most part, because we're not encumbered by social conventions, so you need to accept that reality and then adjust your dating behavior accordingly. I did once hear someone say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Something to think about there.

    Make friends and hang out and have fun. They last longer than most relationships do. And what you're probably really looking for in a relationship is a good friendship with the added component of sex.

    I'm 56 years old. I'll tell you it sure doesn't get any easier. So learn to be comfortable with yourself first. No one will be interested in you if you aren't.