Why do guys cheat? And how come their BF doesn't find out?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 28, 2010 6:32 PM GMT
    There is a certain guy that I've talked to before (nothing happened)
    I found out that he is in a LTR of 3 years.

    I see him online cruising and he's hit me up several times. (not knowing it's me)
    I asked him straight up if he's attached and he said "yes"
    My question is why do guys cheat on their spouse?
    And how can he have his pictures posted all over the net, and certain phone applications (lol) and yet still his BF doesn't know that he's cheating?

    That's crazy! I always check all the smut sites to see if I know anyone on there, and I have caught a few guys out there.
    Whoring out then saying their innocent or looking for a relationship.
    So, gross! Guys if you're going to cheat or hookup (single or otherwise)
    Please be more discreet. That's so... "freshmen college kid stuff" icon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gif

    99.99% of the time I meet a guy, it doesn't work out because of LIES.

    Terrible, you guys need to step your dick or ass up this year!

    I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW AHHHHH!!!!

    [url][/url]






  • Desmondlug

    Posts: 92

    Dec 30, 2010 2:25 AM GMT
    Its sad how people do that.... Scientists say its a chemical in the brain, and those missing it can't be monogamous.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 30, 2010 2:29 AM GMT
    insatiablelover206 saidWhy do guys cheat?
    Because they're horny.

    insatiablelover206 saidAnd how come their BF doesn't find out?
    Because they're good at hiding it. icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 30, 2010 2:31 AM GMT
    Desmondlug saidIts sad how people do that.... Scientists say its a chemical in the brain, and those missing it can't be monogamous.
    It's even more sad than when guys realize they can't be monogamous, many of them go into denial and continue a "pseudo-monogamous" relationship, just because it's socially taboo not to be.
  • UnluckyTitan

    Posts: 106

    Dec 30, 2010 2:45 AM GMT
    They might have an open relationship as well... icon_rolleyes.gif
  • mybud

    Posts: 11835

    Dec 30, 2010 2:45 AM GMT
    Guys cheat cause they can......Why don't there bf's find out?....that's varied....maybe they feel that they can trust their bf....maybe they think your common friends wouldn't try to cheat with your man.....maybe it gives you the permission to cheat on him....Whatever the case....True love is stronger than lies...my personal mantra...you cheat on me even once....your history...Some guys esteem is as such that they feel the cheat can be forgiven....he wont do it again....ya....You why male dogs lick their cocks?...cause they can....Forgive the cheater gives him permission to do it again....I say bye bye....BUD
  • Leawoody

    Posts: 48

    Dec 30, 2010 2:51 AM GMT
    Perhaps the reason the BF doesn't know is becuase he isn't paying attention to his man in the first place. Some guys probably wouldn't cheat if they were getting their needs met by the BF who is supposed to be meeting those needs. Usually, that boils down either to a lack of communication regarding needs on the cheater's part or a lack of response on the BF part. In the former case, it's easier to cheat than to fix the relationship problem, which is ridiculous. Either way the relationship is probably toast.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11835

    Dec 30, 2010 3:03 AM GMT
    Leawoody saidPerhaps the reason the BF doesn't know is becuase he isn't paying attention to his man in the first place. Some guys probably wouldn't cheat if they were getting their needs met by the BF who is supposed to be meeting those needs. Usually, that boils down either to a lack of communication regarding needs on the cheater's part or a lack of response on the BF part. In the former case, it's easier to cheat than to fix the relationship problem, which is ridiculous. Either way the relationship is probably toast.


    If your not gettin your needs met....Leave....don't disrespect your relationship....It's called manning up....BUD
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 30, 2010 3:07 AM GMT
    mybud said
    Leawoody saidPerhaps the reason the BF doesn't know is becuase he isn't paying attention to his man in the first place. Some guys probably wouldn't cheat if they were getting their needs met by the BF who is supposed to be meeting those needs. Usually, that boils down either to a lack of communication regarding needs on the cheater's part or a lack of response on the BF part. In the former case, it's easier to cheat than to fix the relationship problem, which is ridiculous. Either way the relationship is probably toast.


    If your not gettin your needs met....Leave....don't disrespect your relationship....It's called manning up....BUD


    VERY well said. Cheaters are disgusting. Period.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 30, 2010 3:18 AM GMT
    mybud said
    Leawoody saidPerhaps the reason the BF doesn't know is becuase he isn't paying attention to his man in the first place. Some guys probably wouldn't cheat if they were getting their needs met by the BF who is supposed to be meeting those needs. Usually, that boils down either to a lack of communication regarding needs on the cheater's part or a lack of response on the BF part. In the former case, it's easier to cheat than to fix the relationship problem, which is ridiculous. Either way the relationship is probably toast.


    If your not gettin your needs met....Leave....don't disrespect your relationship....It's called manning up....BUD


    It's true but... if you see your partner as someone who HAVE TO meet your needs, then it's an utilitarian relationship, give and get accounting.

    Some guys needs the emotional support you get in ltr, the social respectability that you are supposed to get being monogamous, and the quick and dirty anonymous sex.
    If not man enough to sacrifice some of those need for the benefit of your partner, then the only option is to lie, to him, to yourself, to others.

    Love is about giving, not about getting. Relationship is about reciprocal love, not about giving in order to get.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 30, 2010 10:54 PM GMT
    I always check all the smut sites to see if I know anyone on there, and I have caught a few guys out there.
    Whoring out then saying their innocent or looking for a relationship


    I feel so much better knowing that the "whore police" are guarding our streets.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 30, 2010 11:04 PM GMT
    How do you know he is cheating?
    Maybe they are in an open relationship?
    Shouldnt assume shit just makes you look ignorant.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 30, 2010 11:06 PM GMT
    my boyfriend, who i was completely in love with, just cheated on me icon_sad.gif

    I gave him my heart and soul, he said the same, and i found out he gave himself to his ex-boyfriend's best friend.

    Then he told me that our friends were trying to sleep with him too.

    getting over him is hard. knowing he is morally bankrupt and emotionally bankrupt helps me realize that he is not worth my honesty, trust, commitment and love.

    he is a snake and can go back to the snake pit with the rest.

    bottom line: he cheated cause he is insecure and a liar. I didn't find out because he didn't want to be honest. immaturity and fear rule his world.

  • Beeftastic

    Posts: 1747

    Dec 31, 2010 9:26 PM GMT
    Oy, monogamy. I don't' really believe in it anymore. I have never cheated in a monogamous relationship, though I have been cheated on in every monogamous relationship I have had.

    I have had open relationships. The open relationships worked out better and were more honest for me.

    So you are going to break up with a guy because you caught him cheating on you. Are you sure that's best? Why not talk about it, find out what caused it and see if you can fix it?
  • owen19832006

    Posts: 1035

    Jan 04, 2011 5:20 PM GMT
    cheaters are evil heartbreakers!
    no excuse for cheating. the moment i got tired of my previous relationship i told him listen this is it sorry.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 04, 2011 5:23 PM GMT
    Some people prefer to operate without any sense of structure or personal frameworks for good behavior or conduct. Unfortunately, in our age of laissez-faire and instant gratification, each individual feels they are capable of doing whatsoever pleases him when it pleases him.

    Gone are notions of what constitutes human dignity and respect... icon_neutral.gif
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Jan 05, 2011 4:06 AM GMT
    as sometimes happens in str8 marriages; the cheated on mate may know...but she/he doesn't WANT to know about the cheating. icon_confused.gif
  • Beeftastic

    Posts: 1747

    Jan 05, 2011 8:35 PM GMT
    Marcobruno I completely agree with you! And while I don't really believe that monogamy is a natural long term state for humans, I do believe in honesty integrity and respect. Which cheaters violate. So I also have no respect for cheaters. Cheating is poison.

    If I find out a guy I have been hanging out with is in a perceived monogamous relationship (by either party) they are out of my appt book!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 05, 2011 8:42 PM GMT
    I dont think monogamy is for everyone.. if it were, everyone would be... clearly we arent
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 05, 2011 8:56 PM GMT
    rnch saidas sometimes happens in str8 marriages; the cheated on mate may know...but she/he doesn't WANT to know about the cheating. icon_confused.gif

    I suppose that can be true. I dated a guy for over a year, and I SENSED that he was cheating. No evidence, no nothing.

    But I knew him, and I saw the change in him. I may be stupid in many ways (and gawd knows I am), but my ability to read people is unmatched.

    If I look into your eyes I can see into your soul. One of the reasons, out of politeness, I often avert my eyes at a first meeting. And also fearing the other person will have the same ability to use on me.

    And so I knew he was cheating. He eventually confessed it to me, which was no surprise. A gentlemanly gesture to tell me, but I was still hurt he had done it. Damn it, I really loved the guy.

    So, OK, that chapter was closed. I'm military, I'm tougher than tough, I asses my losses and I move on. But fuck, he had my heart and he threw it away.

    Ah. well. And then I found this guy. Life is so good to me I sometimes wonder who's pulling the strings for me. I guess somebody somewhere must like me a lot.

    As I used to say: "Life wants to be good to you, if only you know how to let it."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 05, 2011 9:53 PM GMT
    There is something inherently wrong with a relationship where one or both parties are cruising the internet looking for a hookup. "Open Relationship", is another term for "our relationship is so stale and dead so we both agreed to be unfaithful on one another openly".. it's pretty sad when it comes to that.

    Why do they do it? For some reason they aren't man enough to be honest about their lack of interest in their partner and break off the relationship. Perhaps there are other issues complicating the matter, such of financial dependency

    Why do they get away with it? Perhaps their partner is so in love they are blind to the indiscretion, which often allows the cheater to get away with a lot and the partner to live in denial and even when faced with the evidence, and as others have said here they are just sneaky about it

    Some clues to a possible cheating guy online are:
    - all their photos are hidden or private
    - they give a false age, location and/or name in their profile

    .. and as things progress...
    - they hide the fact they are in a relationship until asked or confronted about it. (if they say their partner is fine with it, than why hide it from you?)
    - they never bring you or invite you to their place
    - you are never introduced to any of his friends

    Guys who lie and hide the truth are unlikely to just hide one thing; other things guys lie about can have a much more serious lifelong consequence than simply hurting your feelings. Avoid these guys at all cost.