RJ MEMBERS WHO VANISH Ash557 Seems to be the Latest.....

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 23, 2008 3:40 AM GMT
    I don't know about each of you, but I find it really disconcerting when someone with whom you enjoy talking with and getting to know suddenly vanishes.

    I'm not talking about a high visibility departure or "adjournment" like we witnessed recently, but someone who has been a real part of the RJ community and have contributed to the forums, nice, friendly.... then gone without explanation. When one is gone, they are missed.

    Should we expect any different? Do we just shrug our shoulders and say.. oh well? It does seem a little weird to suggest posting..."I'm Leaving" to everyone, but it would be nice to know....
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Mar 23, 2008 1:57 PM GMT
    I have to say that this bothers me too.

    And Ash557 is gone? He seemed like a really nice guy.

    From today, everyone must give a reason why they are leaving, OK?

    Mike
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2008 6:07 AM GMT
    That's right guys......unless you get hit by a Mack truck, don't just fall off the face of the Earth without saying something. When good guys split, it leaves us all wondering, "Gee, was it our breath?"
  • NickoftheNort...

    Posts: 1416

    Mar 24, 2008 6:58 AM GMT
    People leave or vanish for various reasons.

    The most common is probably a lacking sense of connection, given that this is an Internet-based community (as a 'Net community, it may also end up detracting from an offline life as opposed to complementing it). That lack may also contribute to a kind of cold turkey end of association, where the quitter* abandons the system wholesale.

    *not intended as a perjorative; I just don't have a better word for it at the moment; "the departed" sounds too morbid and dramatic for quitting an online community

    Not to be expressing my inner drama queen, but I've thought about quitting RJ a few times, in large part because I spend way too much time on here (time that could have been spent *gasp* exercising or reading quality lit. over rant-o-matic threads). The sense of a rate of return can be important for sustained membership.

    Would you prefer the alternative of people simply not responding and going on hiatus?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2008 7:38 AM GMT
    Its so hard to say goodbye icon_sad.gif

    I am ashamed to admit. I don't remember who ash is. It's hard to keep track of all the children icon_rolleyes.gif I don't know my ash from a hole in the ground!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2008 9:44 AM GMT
    if i was gone, i wonder if anyone would notice
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2008 11:22 AM GMT
    I was gone for a week. My Hard Disk died and I lost a lot of my files. I had to reformat and stuff.

    Only onmyway missed me though. *sniff*

    BTW, ash was one of my crushes. icon_cry.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2008 11:24 AM GMT
    I don't know if anyone else noticed, but Chucky's pal "dood" vanished this week also. Coincidence?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2008 11:41 AM GMT
    And where's GuiltyGear?!
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 24, 2008 12:10 PM GMT
    Guilty hasn't left.. that would be disappointing for sure.

    I did have the opportunity to talk to Ash, he saw this post and contacted me. While he has his own reasons for his departure, he did't think he would be missed. He is a talented, funloving and very nice guy.
    I have encouraged him to come back and hope he does.
  • NickoftheNort...

    Posts: 1416

    Mar 24, 2008 3:16 PM GMT
    We're getting close to Spring Break and end-of-semester time for university and college members, which could work against RJ membership, given school pressures (term papers, theses, exams, and more).

    Perhaps there just aren't enough people taking advantage of Hide-your-profile function.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2008 3:29 PM GMT
    Well, people have stuff that they need to do in their offline lives lol

    I know during spring break I was hitting the site all the time, but when finals start hitting you guys probably won't see me for a couple of weeks.
    And like, Sedative, for instance. If your PC dies you're screwed.

    Or maybe you just wanna take a break and dedicate to other stuff for a minute.
    Maybe you moved to a different place, or met a guy, or something
    But the point is that all of us have lives outside of RJ; I wouldnt worry about it too much lol
    It's not like they got abducted by the FBI or the infamous GAY POLICE

    So, chill out guys, it's not that big a deal.

    However, when you start seeing people getting banned left and right... that is kinda scary. Makes you want to check every word you're saying... I wish there was a "political correctness check" button besides the spell check icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2008 4:13 PM GMT
    I just noticed that RedBull is no longer here. I just emailed him late last week and now he's gone. We've had several interesting emails related to common issues and then this morning his profile is "gonzo".

    I know exactly what you mean HndsmKansan, it's not only strange but a sense of loss when you've worked to develop a relationship (even though it's only online and consists of chatting) then you find they're gone with no forwarding address left to find them icon_sad.gif Bums me out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2008 5:14 PM GMT
    Well if you become friends with them through here only, get to know each other personally and then they just inexplicably take off...
    Yeah, that's kinda rude...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2008 5:33 PM GMT
    Yea, Alex(ash557) just needed some time, said he was getting to addicted to RJ and wants to leave it alone for a while. He may be back, so don't worry icon_smile.gif
    Also, Ryan(Shevy) has deleted his. He went through a rough patch, and just wants some time to reflect, don't know if he will be back.
    I'll tell them both that you guys miss them icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2008 5:33 PM GMT
    well, I regret not getting brian's (redbull) email address. If anyone has it, love to contact him.
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    Mar 24, 2008 5:34 PM GMT
    I did notice Dood disappeared as well as Boiwunderkind (I think I got that name right), plus a guy from Toronto (Jacksonsgym?).

    I feel some people leave because of the nature of some of the forum discussions (some do get a bit overheated), others because they have found a new bf and want to spend as much time with that person.

    I have not been tempted to leave, but I am disciplining myself better in terms of the forum topics. There are some topics where I will voice my opinion once or twice then leave it. There is no use getting involved in a "pissing match".

    I find that my interest in any website fluctuates. I am spending a lot of time on RJ, before it was AfterElton. In the coming months with the hockey playoffs starting, and baseball starting I will be spending more time in front of the TV.

    BTW Sedative14 I did notice you were very quiet recently, thanks for the explanation.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2008 5:35 PM GMT
    Dang, now redbull is gone too? That's really disconcerting for me, because we talked very regularly over email, and he and I shared a lot of our personal issues with each other.... I hope he comes back.... icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2008 5:40 PM GMT
    jbedwards said

    In the coming months with the hockey playoffs starting, and baseball starting I will be spending more time in front of the TV.



    Hey JB,

    I thought that's why God created laptops and wireless connections! So we could multitask.
  • auryn

    Posts: 2061

    Mar 24, 2008 5:51 PM GMT
    Boiwunderkind too?? No!!! He was cool. I noticed that he was gone from my mutual friends list, but I thought it was because I was still mourning over the absence of chuckystud. I wouldn't hold it against him were that the case, but for him to totally leave the site without saying g'bye... icon_cry.gif
  • Thirdbeach

    Posts: 1364

    Mar 24, 2008 5:55 PM GMT
    PSBigJoey and his partner Speedo both departed about two weeks ago. Joey took the time to create a forum giving some reasons, and to say good bye.

    Redbull started a forum about his shoes this morning, and has now hidden/departed.

    We all will have reasons for being here or being elsewhere. Some one will notice once you are gone, others will not.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 25, 2008 11:02 AM GMT
    jbedwardsBTW Sedative14 I did notice you were very quiet recently, thanks for the explanation.


    LOL. So I usually am not silent? icon_rolleyes.gif ROFL

    Anyway... I hope some of the absences are just hiatus, and they'll be back sooner or later. In other forums I've been it's not unusual for a member to disappear for weeks or months at a time. So I wouldn't worry about it much unless it's a banning.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 25, 2008 11:47 AM GMT
    Sedative14, you are one of the more prolific commentators which we all appreciate. Hopefully your computer problems are behind you.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 25, 2008 11:52 AM GMT
    jbedwards saidI did notice Dood disappeared as well as Boiwunderkind (I think I got that name right)







    Well if Boiwunderkind left, Buddy is going to be upset!