A short primer on the avoidance of an exploding garbage disposal

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    Dec 30, 2010 11:42 PM GMT
    The purpose of this article is to educate others on the importance of a properly functioning garbage disposal.

    About a week ago I was half asleep on the couch, I thought I heard a noise somewhere in my apartment, it was unlike anything I’ve ever heard before, a low ominous rumbling followed by a faint rattle, then a burbling noise, then quiet. I wasn’t sure if I’d even heard anything at all, perhaps it was outside, or I had imagined it, musta been my imagination, I was after all on the outskirts of consciousness. A few days passed and again I heard the strange noise, though this time it was much more subtle, just a mild burble gurgle noise, it probably only lasted a second, but this time I was certain I’d heard it. Filled with a sense of impending doom I quickly ran to the kitchen after disentangling myself from a myriad of wires, cables, blankets, pillows, bags of chips, various keyboards, phone chargers, bowls of ice cream, a six pack of beer, two bottles of pop, three pizza boxes, some general tso’s chicken, and the like, which that had slowly began to attach me to my futon (then I ran to the kitchen). By the time I got to the kitchen the noise had stopped. Quiet again. “Well now what the hell?” I wondered, I can’t be imagining this, this time I knew I’d heard it, I was certain of it. A few more days went by, and the noise came again, it was more intense now, a low rumble, the rattling pipes in the walls louder now, accompanied this time, by the sound of bending steel, I ran to the kitchen, and there in the sink I saw the last trace of water going down the drain, burble gurgle, then it was gone. Well, that was weird as hell I thought, so I did what any self respecting man would do, ran a ton of hot water down the sink, and ran the disposal for about ten minutes, switching it off and on at precise intervals to ensure maximum drainage, filling and draining the sink, filling and draining, you know testing the system, and then proudly, after a series of very scientific and methodical steps, (most of which involved running water and stuffing various items down the garbage disposal) I declared the problem to be fixed… The next night about midnight I heard the noise again, SONOFABITCH! I thought, this time I was ready, I jumped up and found the sink was half full of water. “Bullshit!” I thought, “I’ve had it!” I switched on the garbage disposal, and slowly the water began to subside, so I turned on the hot water to purge the demon clog down the line and back to hell for once and for all. The second I turned off the disposal water began bubbling back into the sink, I ran to the bathroom and grabbed the plunger, the sink nearly half full of water now I began furiously pumping away with my plunger, the hot water still running full blast, I switched on the garbage disposal and slowly the water began to reside, more slowly this time, but draining nonetheless, the water was almost gone. It was angry now. The rattling in the walls began again, louder and more frenzied this time, a few spice bottles rattled in their perch above the stove, the familiar moan and groan of bending steel, the faint smell of an overheated electric motor, the lights began to dim, a glass fell off the counter and shattered on the floor, oh yes it was definitely pissed now, the garbage disposal now burdened with an unacceptable load, whirring and churning in a strained protest, “RrrrRRrrRRRRRrrrRRRRRR,” the water began to slowly bubble back into the sink, despite the disposals best efforts, “RRRrrrrRRRRrrRRrrRRRRRRR,” then it happened, the circuit breaker kicked out on the garbage disposal. “Click.” Time stopped. A baby cried somewhere in the distance, the second hand on the clock went “TICK,” the now familiar rattle came again, it escalated to a fever pitch, the agonized scream of bending steel, the burble gurgle, then, time began again. Water exploded up from the sink erupting in biblical style proportions, yes the great flood happening right here, right now in my very own apartment, the deafening roar of the tidal wave, a tsunami of water shooting out of my sink some two or three feet straight into the air in an impressive Vesuvius style effect. I, now thoroughly soaked, grabbed the plunger and plunged for my life trying to cap old faithful, the water overtaking me and my trusty plunger, the geyser in my kitchen sink spewing its contents all over the walls, cabinets, and floors. Then the unthinkable happened, when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, the drain pipe on the garbage disposal burst, the tidal wave that was mostly contained in my sink stopped and was now flooding into the cabinets and pouring out of the drawers from beneath the sink, the cabinet doors flew open, a small dirty green sponge came out riding the wave, “WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” he cried in giddy delight. I stood, paralyzed in shock, fear, and disbelief. I hadn’t counted on this, this wasn’t supposed to happen, no, I tried desperately to stop the surge with my hand, no, no, NO! the hand of course failed as a plug (moron). There was only one thing left to do, “RETREAT!!!” SHIT!!! “DANGER DANGER DANGER!” Hurricane Hubert was kickin my ass n I knew it. I jerked the trash bag out of the can and threw the bag over the counter, the bag sailed gracefully into the dining room where the contents exploded into an abstract post modern garbage art collage all over the floor. I thrust the can under the sink, the can filled immediately to the top and began to overflow. My god how much water was there? I grabbed the can waddled it outside, and dumped. By the time I had gotten back inside the water had flooded the fridge and was encroaching on the carpet, I slammed the can under the sink again, again the can filled immediately, again I dumped. On the third can the deluge began to subside, and almost as quickly as it had begun, it was over, “drip, drip, drip, rattle moan, gurgle burble.” Silence.
  • DCguy2001

    Posts: 314

    Dec 31, 2010 2:14 AM GMT
    Instead of a plumber, you may want to consult a priest. That disposal sounds possessed! icon_evil.gif
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    Dec 31, 2010 2:19 AM GMT
    Have you considered employment with BP?
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    Dec 31, 2010 2:26 AM GMT
    DCguy1999 saidInstead of a plumber, you may want to consult a priest. That disposal sounds possessed! icon_evil.gif


    I agree with DCguy1999. Sounds like you have a major problem.
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    Dec 31, 2010 2:43 AM GMT
    You didnt actually tell us how to avoid this.... icon_razz.gif
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    Dec 31, 2010 2:51 AM GMT
    flatstate2010 said
    DCguy1999 saidInstead of a plumber, you may want to consult a priest. That disposal sounds possessed! icon_evil.gif


    I agree with DCguy1999. Sounds like you have a major problem.


    the apt complex had a problem, i had renters insurance ; )
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    Dec 31, 2010 2:52 AM GMT
    tallcanuck saidYou didnt actually tell us how to avoid this.... icon_razz.gif


    never, ever, EVER argue with the drain.
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    Dec 31, 2010 2:59 AM GMT
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    Dec 31, 2010 3:01 AM GMT
    Damn Dude, You know how to tell a story!
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    Dec 31, 2010 3:03 AM GMT
    Morray saidDamn Dude, You know how to tell a story!


    No kidding, you've got a talent!

    -Doug
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    Dec 31, 2010 3:07 AM GMT
    Johnnyhotsauce said
    tallcanuck saidYou didnt actually tell us how to avoid this.... icon_razz.gif


    never, ever, EVER argue with the drain.


    haha, that sucks man, great story telling though, journalist?

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    Dec 31, 2010 3:08 AM GMT
    Morray saidDamn Dude, You know how to tell a story!


    Thanks man, always wanted ta write, am sorta good at it, now trying to take a more active approach to get better, rumor has it only way to do it, is to do it. This sort of thing, good, bad, frustrating, and usually pretty funny seems to follow me, so i think i'm gonna start writin em down n maybe postin em on here glad you liked it. i'll be DJ'ing for an English pub tomorrow night, (i have no real experience) so that might be good for some laughs
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    Dec 31, 2010 3:11 AM GMT
    tallcanuck said
    Johnnyhotsauce said
    tallcanuck saidYou didnt actually tell us how to avoid this.... icon_razz.gif


    never, ever, EVER argue with the drain.


    haha, that sucks man, great story telling though, journalist?



    nope, mechanic, computer nerd, farm boy, english always came easily to me, must take after mom. Thanks mom!
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    Dec 31, 2010 3:11 AM GMT
    You ARE good at it (writing) and I'm not kidding.

    published author, -Doug
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    Dec 31, 2010 3:14 AM GMT
    Johnnyhotsauce said
    tallcanuck said
    Johnnyhotsauce said
    tallcanuck saidYou didnt actually tell us how to avoid this.... icon_razz.gif


    never, ever, EVER argue with the drain.


    haha, that sucks man, great story telling though, journalist?



    nope, mechanic, computer nerd, farm boy, english always came easily to me, must take after mom. Thanks mom!


    would you know a good simmental if it wandered over to ya?
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    Dec 31, 2010 3:18 AM GMT
    tallcanuck said
    Johnnyhotsauce said
    tallcanuck said
    Johnnyhotsauce said
    tallcanuck saidYou didnt actually tell us how to avoid this.... icon_razz.gif


    never, ever, EVER argue with the drain.


    haha, that sucks man, great story telling though, journalist?



    nope, mechanic, computer nerd, farm boy, english always came easily to me, must take after mom. Thanks mom!


    would you know a good simmental if it wandered over to ya?


    sure but we dealt primarily w/ hereford tho, easty tempered and healthy
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    Dec 31, 2010 3:23 AM GMT
    meninlove said You ARE good at it (writing) and I'm not kidding.

    published author, -Doug



    Doug, thanks, this is really the first thing i've ever posted, i've never written anything very long, i tend to get distracted and wander lol. I had one other that i put on facebook some time ago, but i kinda figured all my friends were just being nice when they said they thought it was good, i don't think it was anywhere close to as good as this tho. What sort of writing do you do?
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    Dec 31, 2010 3:23 AM GMT
    [quote]

    sure but we dealt primarily w/ hereford tho, easy tempered and healthy[/quote]

    you ARE a farm kid, nice. simms are stubborn and not to bright, but hardy for cdn winters
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    Dec 31, 2010 3:31 AM GMT
    tallcanuck said[quote]

    sure but we dealt primarily w/ hereford tho, easy tempered and healthy


    you ARE a farm kid, nice. simms are stubborn and not to bright, but hardy for cdn winters[/quote]

    the ringtone on my phone is "Puttin up Hay", by the "Blind Corn Liquor Pickers ;-)
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Dec 31, 2010 3:33 AM GMT
    I could do a similar narrative but there was no garbage disposal involved. Instead our story stars a large root plugging the sewer and a Roto-Rooter guy with a pressure hose fitted into the sewer vent on the roof.

    The high pressure water did not clear the blockage.

    The sewer relieved itself by issuing a six foot geyser from the toilet.

    The sewer was not empty.

    My first reaction was to go to WalMart and buy boots....
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    Dec 31, 2010 3:38 AM GMT
    LMAO!!!! hard ta beat a "professional"
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    Dec 31, 2010 3:43 AM GMT
    I was rooting for the sponge.
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    Dec 31, 2010 3:51 AM GMT
    Great story! icon_lol.gif
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    Dec 31, 2010 3:53 AM GMT
    Johnnyhotsauce said
    flatstate2010 said
    DCguy1999 saidInstead of a plumber, you may want to consult a priest. That disposal sounds possessed! icon_evil.gif


    I agree with DCguy1999. Sounds like you have a major problem.


    the apt complex had a problem, i had renters insurance ; )



    LOL.. You are a smart farm raised man.
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    Dec 31, 2010 11:16 AM GMT
    @ johnnyhotsauce - I hope NOTHING similar happens to you in 2011icon_lol.gif.

    Just dealt with a plumbing issue but without such an entertaining story to go with it. But I did get a four figure plumbing bill. ughhhicon_mad.gif