20 and never been on a date!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 31, 2010 5:47 AM GMT
    Ok, this is really embarrassing, but true. I'm 20 years old and have NEVER been on a date. My friends and cousins keep asking me why I don't have a girlfriend. They don't know I'm gay. lol.

    But I came to terms with my sexuality on March and even came out to my closest friends. Since then I been trying to date, but I hasn't worked out. I never even dated a girl, so not even sure how this whole dating thing works. I been trying online and the people just really shallow. I try to meet guys in real life, except i have no gaydar and could never tell when someone is gay.

    So how did you guys start dating when you first came out of the closet?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 31, 2010 6:01 AM GMT
    gta129 saidSo how did you guys start dating when you first came out of the closet?
    I didn't. I started dating, then came out of the closet.
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    Dec 31, 2010 6:20 AM GMT
    Maybe trying putting some face pics up on your profile, seems like your profile is dedicated to how your body and uh assets look. That's most likely the reason they aren't after you, they're after what they think you look like. I'm not saying to do it on this one, but well wherever you're trying to find dates.

    I was/am dating while half in the closet, so can't help much for after icon_question.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 31, 2010 6:57 AM GMT
    I don't think guys are keen on dating anymore.
    at least not for the purpose of findng a partner for a relationship etc.
    Since the internet hook up sites are available 24/7, it seems no one is really actively pursuing anything more than quick sex or they use "dating" as a guise for hooking up.

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    Dec 31, 2010 7:00 AM GMT
    insatiablelover206 saidI don't think guys are keen on dating anymore.
    at least not for the purpose of findng a partner for a relationship etc.
    Since the internet hook up sites are available 24/7, it seems no one is really actively pursuing anything more than quick sex or they use "dating" as a guise for hooking up.


    I would like a relationship more than a hook up, I mean the hooking up would be the bonus part of having a relationship, but someone to be with you just cause they can and vice versa would be good.
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    Dec 31, 2010 5:45 PM GMT
    navi_saiyan saidMaybe trying putting some face pics up on your profile, seems like your profile is dedicated to how your body and uh assets look. That's most likely the reason they aren't after you, they're after what they think you look like. I'm not saying to do it on this one, but well wherever you're trying to find dates.

    I was/am dating while half in the closet, so can't help much for after icon_question.gif


    Well I do have my face pics on dating sites like okcupid, plenty of fish, etc
    But its not really working out.
  • UncleverName

    Posts: 741

    Dec 31, 2010 5:51 PM GMT
    If it still works that way, and you can afford it, try LavaLife's gay website. They had 3 different sections (Dating, Relationship and Casual/Hookup). That way you can possibly filter people out based on interests.

  • rafiki87

    Posts: 331

    Dec 31, 2010 6:03 PM GMT
    my experience, stop trying to find a date... the good ones will hit you when you least expect it.
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    Dec 31, 2010 6:07 PM GMT
    Dude, you're so young... you have so much time ahead of you... and trust me, men get more attractive as they get older.
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    Dec 31, 2010 6:23 PM GMT
    SAHEM62896 saidDude, you're so young... you have so much time ahead of you... and trust me, men get more attractive as they get older.


    Ain't that the truth, the age range of guys I find attractive has vastly increased since joining this site just a few months ago.

    But to the OP, I feel for you man, I'm in the same situation as you almost except that I'm 23 icon_sad.gif

    It's true what insatiablelover206 said, I've noticed at least for people around our age, it's mostly about the hook up and if the hook up turns out well, then the relationship comes.

    Where as I'm backwards, I would like to date first, if it's good then hopefully lead to a relationship, then the "hook-up" part can happen after a relationship is established with that person.
    I don't know, maybe it's too old fashioned.

    And about the gaydar hahaha tell me about, some people are just so lucky to have a good one, I have no idea either.

    But don't fret, 2011 is upon us and it could be your year! Just don't lose hope I guess is what I'm saying.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 31, 2010 6:33 PM GMT
    Prob not the best way....but my BF and I met online initially for a hookup. But we clicked right away.. I have met some awesome guys through sites like these. Still stay in touch w many of em. You gotta take a bit of time, chat it out, before you meet up. i have been very lucky...haven't hit too many jerks. and BTW...I think this site is the best I've seen so far for pretty sane guys. Good luck
  • JayneCobb

    Posts: 709

    Dec 31, 2010 7:00 PM GMT
    Fix your profile. I know I for one would never send you a message or respond to one who profile is dedicated to roughly 20 pictures of their junk. Sends the message that you just want to hook up and don't want anything else.

    Guess I'm just old school, I don't want to see your "private parts" Until after a few dates, when I feel comfortable with you. You know, the whole courtship deal. Guess I'm a dying breed.
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    Dec 31, 2010 7:00 PM GMT
    22 and never had a BF or sex so dont worry icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 31, 2010 7:07 PM GMT
    EBan said
    SAHEM62896 saidDude, you're so young... you have so much time ahead of you... and trust me, men get more attractive as they get older.


    Ain't that the truth, the age range of guys I find attractive has vastly increased since joining this site just a few months ago.

    But to the OP, I feel for you man, I'm in the same situation as you almost except that I'm 23 icon_sad.gif

    It's true what insatiablelover206 said, I've noticed at least for people around our age, it's mostly about the hook up and if the hook up turns out well, then the relationship comes.

    Where as I'm backwards, I would like to date first, if it's good then hopefully lead to a relationship, then the "hook-up" part can happen after a relationship is established with that person.
    I don't know, maybe it's too old fashioned.

    And about the gaydar hahaha tell me about, some people are just so lucky to have a good one, I have no idea either.

    But don't fret, 2011 is upon us and it could be your year! Just don't lose hope I guess is what I'm saying.


    Exactly! Most guys just want to hook up. But I don't want to hookup with some random dude and than wait to see if it goes somewhere. Sex for me is person and I don't want to first time to be a hookup. lol. I want to first time to be with a guy I actually care about and who cares about me. It should be romantic with Katy Perry's Teenage Dream playing in the background

    The gaydar really depends on the person. I know a guy who can tell if someone is gay just by looking at a pic. Me on the other hand did not know that my best friends for 7 years was gay. lmao. I didn't even question for a second that he could be gay.

    Yes, I hope 2011 is our year.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 31, 2010 7:08 PM GMT
    Probably because you just have pictures of you body in underwear with your cock showing = hookups only no personality here. If youre trying to find a date on here, or anywhere, that's not the way to go
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    Dec 31, 2010 7:23 PM GMT
    I do agree that your profile somewhat sends the wrong message...

    Besides the fact, how about just making genuine friendships with gay guys? (Particularly guys living in the Toronto area). And it doesn't "require" you to be out to all your friends/family.

    Making gay friends will likely open doors for you in the sense that they'll show you the gay scenery, and perhaps have other friends that may be in the same boat as you...that could be a lead right there. The internet is a great thing, but it can be awfuly complicated... Just meeting new people/making new friends will automatically give you the opportunity of finding that "one."
  • Mikeylikesit

    Posts: 1021

    Dec 31, 2010 7:29 PM GMT
    Unfortunately....Ever since the surge in the internet sites, cruisin sites. No one wants to date anymore....They keep telling me " dating is such 80's"....LMAO
    Its not just you....Welcome to the gayborhood...lol
    icon_twisted.gificon_eek.gif
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    Dec 31, 2010 7:32 PM GMT
    "The gaydar really depends on the person. I know a guy who can tell if someone is gay just by looking at a pic. Me on the other hand did not know that my best friends for 7 years was gay. lmao. I didn't even question for a second that he could be gay.

    Yes, I hope 2011 is our year. "




    "Our Year" ...As in, you & him?? If yes, there is your answer; ask him out. I can't think of a better deal than dating my best friend (if we found each other attractive; which I don't).

    The other responders have a good point re: your magnificent undies; it seems WAY-too-much-too soon. Seems you don't want to be attractive to the shallow ones (which, I admit, are most); therefore, more teasers & less revealing may be in order. (My P'file is designed to be repellent to the "shallow.")

    Above all, DO NOT COMPROMISE YOUR STANDARDS, EVER !!!!!!!!!!
    (Sex isn't worth that & it sounds like you well-understand it)
    ...Along those lines, here is a tip: You know that nervousness that happens when you are REALLY attracted to someone, and makes you tongue-tied? Let that be your indicator that you are "barking-up-the-wrong-tree." When you have a genuine opportunity to blend-Souls w/ someone; in other words, an opportunity for a meaningful exchange-
    There is NO NERVOUSNESS, AT ALL, NONE . I know, it is remarkable, but that is honestly the way it works!

    You are totally correct, you don't ever want to become "typical"; and if you do, you will encounter various "dangers."

    I feel you man . . .
    Good (safe) Luck!
    w w
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 31, 2010 7:45 PM GMT
    wellwell said"The gaydar really depends on the person. I know a guy who can tell if someone is gay just by looking at a pic. Me on the other hand did not know that my best friends for 7 years was gay. lmao. I didn't even question for a second that he could be gay.

    Yes, I hope 2011 is our year. "

    "Our Year" ...As in, you & him?? If yes, there is your answer; ask him out. I can't think of a better deal than dating my best friend (if we found each other attractive; which I don't).


    OH GOD NO. He's like a brother to me.
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    Dec 31, 2010 7:55 PM GMT
    And . . .
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 31, 2010 9:25 PM GMT
    I do understand that I shouldn't have pics of my junk on here if i'm looking for dating. But I've tried just having my face and it didn't work. Trust me, I tired just putting my face out there and not a single person replied to any of my msg. But than I created a new account and put my junk on it and all the sudden people actually visit my profile, comment on my pics and even hot list me.

    So that's why i don't have face pics for public and that's why i don't think online dating would work. I want to meet guys in real life. Where can i go for that? Beside the bars/clubs, is there any nice place to meet decent guys in Toronto?
  • trl_

    Posts: 994

    Dec 31, 2010 9:42 PM GMT
    I'm 21, I came out probably like last year and I went on my first date ever in about July of this year.

    Long story short it didn't work out, even though our date went really well.

    I think that kid wanted dating, just something not labeled dating. He seemed so eager to invite me to parties and have us do stuff together, but whenever I would propose "a date", that's when he would get sheepish.

    I haven't had another date since and I don't know why. Checking online profiles gets old, especially with no guarantee that the guy is representing himself honestly. It also doesn't help that I don't have gaydar and wouldn't even know how to approach a guy anyway if I did.

    How do you approach a guy you think is gay without being a total creeper?
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    Dec 31, 2010 10:17 PM GMT
    fizzle saidI'm 21, I came out probably like last year and I went on my first date ever in about July of this year.

    Long story short it didn't work out, even though our date went really well.

    I think that kid wanted dating, just something not labeled dating. He seemed so eager to invite me to parties and have us do stuff together, but whenever I would propose "a date", that's when he would get sheepish.

    I haven't had another date since and I don't know why. Checking online profiles gets old, especially with no guarantee that the guy is representing himself honestly. It also doesn't help that I don't have gaydar and wouldn't even know how to approach a guy anyway if I did.

    How do you approach a guy you think is gay without being a total creeper?


    Exactly! Its hard to approach a guy you think might be gay without creeping them out. I had a crush on this guy for like 8 years. We went to elementary school and high school together. I'm 99% sure he's gay and people at school also thought he was gay. I gave out some signs and hints, but nothing. I asked him if he's gay like a million times and he still said no. So no point in hitting on him, so after 8 years i moved on. lol.

    Now there's this cute colombian guy at work. He is drop dead gorgeous. I really want to ask him out, but its impossible to do that without seeming like a creeper.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 31, 2010 11:01 PM GMT
    If you want dating, the online thing is probably not the best way to go seeing as how no one can actually see who you truly are from a couple of words and pictures. You need to put yourself out there and make people know that you are available, THAT will get you more dates.

    I'm pretty sure you're more comfortable with the online dating thing because:
    1) It's easier to find guys,
    2) It's easier to send a message rather than talk face to face,
    3) It's convenient for your since you can find what you want when you want.

    The real world doesn't work like that most of the time, and if you keep playing the game "no one is into me online... I can't get a date... no one likes me... I just post pics of my junk to gain views... blah blah blah" it's going to make your personal and social skills worth shit. And the fact that you have nothing but those pics posted makes me refrain from messaging you...

    My suggestion: stop looking online, go out to a bar or too and meet people, regardless if you are out or not. This site is good for seeking advise and getting tips on what to do, but majority rules that you:
    a) Won't find what you're looking for on here, what ever that is.
    b) Will develop habits that hinder dating in the real world.

    You can keep complaining, or you can do something about it... your choice.

  • Jaxom

    Posts: 118

    Dec 31, 2010 11:32 PM GMT
    I was 22 before my first date. It's just one of those things, you can't really force it. And it's nothing to really worry about; it'll happen.