I had sex with a friend's ex??

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 31, 2010 2:12 PM GMT
    So, I reconnected with an old friend recently through FB. I possibly would be visiting him in March with the possibility of living in the same city in a few years.

    There is a mutual attraction and always has been, but I had sex with his ex boyfriend after they broke up in 2005. I was vulnerable too.

    Do I tell him?

    I was actually there one morning in their bed when he showed up to pick up some things.

    What would you do?
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    Dec 31, 2010 2:25 PM GMT
    hauptstimme saidSo, I reconnected with an old friend recently through FB. I possibly would be visiting him in March with the possibility of living in the same city in a few years.

    There is a mutual attraction and always has been, but I had sex with his ex boyfriend after they broke up in 2005. I was vulnerable too.

    Do I tell him?
    Nope, why would you? Who would benefit from this confession? In Gay Years that was over 40 years ago, water under the bridge. Hopefully he has moved on and so should you.

    hauptstimme saidI was actually there one morning in their bed when he showed up to pick up some things.

    What would you do?
    Nothing. Enjoy the visit. Find out where he is in life and in regards to his ex.

    Btw, what were you doing in their bed anyway???
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    Dec 31, 2010 2:32 PM GMT
    I've always secretly thought that me and this guy would make a great couple. He's grown up; I've grown up. We're both over baggage from years ago.

    I was having sex with his ex in their apartment that he left literally days earlier.

    I used to go on double dates with the two of them, that's how we all got to know each other.
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    Dec 31, 2010 3:19 PM GMT
    You did that and call you self a friend

    Wow
  • rnch

    Posts: 11525

    Dec 31, 2010 3:23 PM GMT
    they've broke up, gone their separate ways.....what's the problem here?

    icon_confused.gif
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    Dec 31, 2010 3:26 PM GMT
    Stop beating yourslef up about it..... I agree with rnch on this one..... Let it slide, nobody should care- they both have surely moved on, considerably so, since 2005 icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Dec 31, 2010 5:21 PM GMT
    It really shouldn't matter, but if he finds out from someone other than you (i.e. his ex) there may be drama to be had. I've found it's generally better to put these things in the open on your own rather than waiting for someone else to do it on their terms.
  • rnch

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    Dec 31, 2010 5:30 PM GMT
    isaidwhat saidIt really shouldn't matter, but if he finds out from someone other than you (i.e. his ex) there may be drama to be had. I've found it's generally better to put these things in the open on your own rather than waiting for someone else to do it on their terms.


    where do YOU live? orlando, FL.. @ FANTASYLAND??
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    Dec 31, 2010 5:41 PM GMT
    OP

    did you or didn´t you? I don´t understand why you have put a question mark at the end of your post title.
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    Dec 31, 2010 5:50 PM GMT
    rnch said
    isaidwhat saidIt really shouldn't matter, but if he finds out from someone other than you (i.e. his ex) there may be drama to be had. I've found it's generally better to put these things in the open on your own rather than waiting for someone else to do it on their terms.


    where do YOU live? orlando, FL.. @ FANTASYLAND??


    No, I've actually had this situation. icon_razz.gif To me, it wasn't a big deal. A tad weird, absolutely, but in my experience, honesty is the best policy. And these things find a way of coming out on their own. So yeah. If you'd rather just hope, that's your prerogative.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11525

    Dec 31, 2010 5:51 PM GMT
    isaidwhat said...honesty is the best policy...



    opinions vary

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    Dec 31, 2010 6:08 PM GMT
    rnch said
    isaidwhat said...honesty is the best policy...



    opinions vary



    Clearly, judging from the title of your latest thread, "boyfriends who still have a (not quite) ex-wife around...." Which is why I said "in my experience." icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 31, 2010 6:10 PM GMT
    Lostboy saidOP

    did you or didn´t you? I don´t understand why you have put a question mark at the end of your post title.


    for a few months I did. After that I haven't spoken to either of them (2005). The reconnection is recent. Who knows he may already know about it, but we do get along quite well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 31, 2010 6:30 PM GMT
    isaidwhat said
    rnch said
    isaidwhat saidIt really shouldn't matter, but if he finds out from someone other than you (i.e. his ex) there may be drama to be had. I've found it's generally better to put these things in the open on your own rather than waiting for someone else to do it on their terms.


    where do YOU live? orlando, FL.. @ FANTASYLAND??


    No, I've actually had this situation. icon_razz.gif To me, it wasn't a big deal. A tad weird, absolutely, but in my experience, honesty is the best policy. And these things find a way of coming out on their own. So yeah. If you'd rather just hope, that's your prerogative.


    I understand what you're saying and agree also.
    I do believe in honesty being the best policy because I believe that it is staple for being a good communicator, you have to be honest.

    Plus I think it's better generally to break the news yourself rather than wait around hoping nobody finds out and then they find out the worst way possible.