Jan 01, 2011 6:13 AM GMT
Okies, well let me just start by saying. I'm fat, however I never use to be. I use to basically have a six pack. However two years later... I'm 5'3 and weigh in at 70 kilos. So i'm around 5-6 kilos overweight from my research. Now whilst i'm really greatful for being healthy and having all my limbs and so forth, I still get incredibly down seeing other attractive guys. What makes it worse, in the two years that i've put on weight my bf hasn't at all... And he's clearly noticed but hasn't said anything. And for example, yesterday i went to the city for new years... And all i saw were tall hot attractive guys... This was around a bunch of gay guys i was with... So i felt incredbly down. And basically left straight away because i couldn't deal with how i looked. Okies... Know I know i'll never lose the weight as I have no idea how to... I've looked into it all, but nothing made sence at all. But... it's really getting to me.... Hypothetically... even if i did have a good body, would I see myself as attractive? My dream is too one day go topless at a beach again... I think that would conquer all my porblems... All im trying to say is, i cant deal with being unattractive around people. it kills me. And I feel like a waste of space.