I think I have a faulty gaydar...

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    Jan 01, 2011 2:28 PM GMT
    Yeap, my gaydar's faulty. And it's too bad cause 'twas final sale. I went to a NYE party last night, and there was this really cute guy. He seemed totally gay (the way he talked, the way he walked, he dressed really well, dance moves were a little on the feminine side). I asked my friend, the host of the party, if this guy is into dudes. And he apparently was not. icon_eek.gif I was a bit disappointed. This happened to me again a few months back; I was really into this guy who ended up being straight.. This sucks. icon_mad.gif



    How do you guys know if another guy is gay, without asking if he's gay?
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    Jan 01, 2011 2:40 PM GMT
    Gaydar got infected by the metrosexual virus. You're only hope is asking people directly. But a good new form of gaydar that's largely immune to the metrosexual virus is eye contact. Usually if a guy looks at you as much as you are looking at him it means he's checking you out. This is especially fun to figure out at the gym as you can spy on him by looking at reflections of reflections through various mirrors.
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    Jan 01, 2011 2:49 PM GMT
    JAKEBENSON saidGaydar got infected by the metrosexual virus. You're only hope is asking people directly. But a good new form of gaydar that's largely immune to the metrosexual virus is eye contact. Usually if a guy looks at you as much as you are looking at him it means he's checking you out. This is especially fun to figure out at the gym as you can spy on him by looking at reflections of reflections through various mirrors.


    I swear the guy at the party was looking at me, then looking away when I made eye contact! and he did know my name before I told him, which means that he was talking about me with someone else. I'm starting to think that this guy's probably a closet case. And you know what that means -- icon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gif

    Or maybe I'm over thinking things again.
  • laxdude25

    Posts: 604

    Jan 01, 2011 6:51 PM GMT
    my gaydar is pretty good, and i'm a pretty good listener, so guys tell me stuff they don't realize they're telling me. usually i can steer the convo in a way that i can pretty clearly determine whether or not they're gay. but i think in today's world, you can also be pretty upfront, with a line like, "just wanna say, i think ur a really great looking/nice guy. not hitting on you, and all cool if ur not into guys, but if you have any interest, i do for sure." i think u'll be surprised how this at least opens the door to a future convo in a very non-threatening way.
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    Jan 02, 2011 12:15 AM GMT
    laxdude25 saidmy gaydar is pretty good, and i'm a pretty good listener, so guys tell me stuff they don't realize they're telling me. usually i can steer the convo in a way that i can pretty clearly determine whether or not they're gay. but i think in today's world, you can also be pretty upfront, with a line like, "just wanna say, i think ur a really great looking/nice guy. not hitting on you, and all cool if ur not into guys, but if you have any interest, i do for sure." i think u'll be surprised how this at least opens the door to a future convo in a very non-threatening way.


    I never thought about being that direct. I should give it a try, if and when I have the balls to say it like that.
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    Jan 02, 2011 12:20 AM GMT
    Closeted guys and some gay guys not really out seem to use they instead of he or she when talking about people he may like. Other than that see if you can notice if they have interest in (checking out another guy or something like jakebenson said [constant eye contact])
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    Jan 02, 2011 12:25 AM GMT
    JAKEBENSON saidGaydar got infected by the metrosexual virus. You're only hope is asking people directly. But a good new form of gaydar that's largely immune to the metrosexual virus is eye contact. Usually if a guy looks at you as much as you are looking at him it means he's checking you out. This is especially fun to figure out at the gym as you can spy on him by looking at reflections of reflections through various mirrors.


    I agree with this. Plus the closet cases make it very difficult sometimes, which may be what this guy was. When I was a closet case myself, I had a guy ask if I was gay before but I was so deeply buried in that closet that I denied it. So I threw off his gaydar.

    Speaking of gym eye contact, this absolute STUD at my gym that looks straight as an arrow has been making crazy eye contact recently. Last time I did back, I was doing lawnmowers and I looked in the mirror as I was doing it and he was staring at my ass so intently. Too bad I am too chicken shit to say anything to him because if I am wrong, I don't want to make the gym awkward because I literally see him everyday. icon_confused.gif
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    Jan 02, 2011 4:33 AM GMT
    Just hit on everyone, and see who will you let you lick their face. I don't have a good gaydar, so that's how I go about things. You've got nothing to lose!
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    Jan 02, 2011 5:07 AM GMT
    cgal.....if he knew your name have the host to connect you by email. drop him a note and say hi and see if he wants to grab coffee or drink....safe environment, and if you're right, a door he may be willing to open a bit.
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    Jan 02, 2011 5:12 AM GMT
    Every single day, I swear up and down that every guy at work is in the closet. They all act so...damn...gay. At first I thought maybe they were metrosexual, but now I'm convinced that they're all in the closet. icon_lol.gif
  • mybud

    Posts: 11836

    Jan 02, 2011 5:15 AM GMT
    It's all in the eye contact...If you catch a guys glance a little longer than usual...then a slight smile...My cue to move in.....BUD
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    Jan 02, 2011 5:18 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidEvery single day, I swear up and down that every guy at work is in the closet. They all act so...damn...gay. At first I thought maybe they were metrosexual, but now I'm convinced that they're all in the closet. icon_lol.gif

    And that's the thing. Our gaydar may be spot on with these guys, but if they insist on denying it, to us or to themselves, there's not a lot we can do about it. Except move on to the next guy who's not closeted.
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    Jan 02, 2011 5:19 AM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    paulflexes saidEvery single day, I swear up and down that every guy at work is in the closet. They all act so...damn...gay. At first I thought maybe they were metrosexual, but now I'm convinced that they're all in the closet. icon_lol.gif

    And that's the thing. Our gaydar may be spot on with these guys, but if they insist on denying it, to us or to themselves, there's not a lot we can do about it. Except move on to the next guy who's not closeted.
    Yep.
    I still swear that about half (or more) guys are gay; but the majority will never admit it.
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    Jan 02, 2011 5:24 AM GMT
    When it comes to eye contact, has anyone ever gotten anything negative from making eye contact? like "Hey you, watchu staring at !!?!"

    KSUOWL said

    Speaking of gym eye contact, this absolute STUD at my gym that looks straight as an arrow has been making crazy eye contact recently. Last time I did back, I was doing lawnmowers and I looked in the mirror as I was doing it and he was staring at my ass so intently. Too bad I am too chicken shit to say anything to him because if I am wrong, I don't want to make the gym awkward because I literally see him everyday. icon_confused.gif


    Had to youtube what a lawnmower is.. And I've got to admit, the lawnmower looks super hot icon_redface.gif I know I'd be staring.


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    Jan 02, 2011 5:30 AM GMT
    JAKEBENSON saidGaydar got infected by the metrosexual virus. You're only hope is asking people directly. But a good new form of gaydar that's largely immune to the metrosexual virus is eye contact. Usually if a guy looks at you as much as you are looking at him it means he's checking you out. This is especially fun to figure out at the gym as you can spy on him by looking at reflections of reflections through various mirrors.
    Jake hit it right on the nail. This is the only reason why I could tell that my metrosexual best friend in middle school was actually metrosexual. This also helps to separates the bros from the breeders.
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    Jan 02, 2011 5:32 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Art_Deco said
    paulflexes saidEvery single day, I swear up and down that every guy at work is in the closet. They all act so...damn...gay. At first I thought maybe they were metrosexual, but now I'm convinced that they're all in the closet. icon_lol.gif

    And that's the thing. Our gaydar may be spot on with these guys, but if they insist on denying it, to us or to themselves, there's not a lot we can do about it. Except move on to the next guy who's not closeted.
    Yep.
    I still swear that about half (or more) guys are gay; but the majority will never admit it.


    Maybe my question shouldn't be "How do i fix my gaydar" but "How do I fix closeted homos". =P It gets really confusing when a significant number of guys I thought were gay end up being straight. So far, I haven't gotten any negativity from these guys, but I hope my gaydar doesn't put me in dangerous or awkward situations in the future.
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    Jan 02, 2011 5:35 AM GMT
    robbindy saidcgal.....if he knew your name have the host to connect you by email. drop him a note and say hi and see if he wants to grab coffee or drink....safe environment, and if you're right, a door he may be willing to open a bit.


    Yeah, I'm not giving up on him just yet. I'm getting around to adding a few people I met at the party on Facebook, and hopefully he'll add me back and I can move on from there.
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    Jan 02, 2011 5:42 AM GMT
    KSUOWL said
    JAKEBENSON saidGaydar got infected by the metrosexual virus. You're only hope is asking people directly. But a good new form of gaydar that's largely immune to the metrosexual virus is eye contact. Usually if a guy looks at you as much as you are looking at him it means he's checking you out. This is especially fun to figure out at the gym as you can spy on him by looking at reflections of reflections through various mirrors.


    I agree with this. Plus the closet cases make it very difficult sometimes, which may be what this guy was. When I was a closet case myself, I had a guy ask if I was gay before but I was so deeply buried in that closet that I denied it. So I threw off his gaydar.

    Speaking of gym eye contact, this absolute STUD at my gym that looks straight as an arrow has been making crazy eye contact recently. Last time I did back, I was doing lawnmowers and I looked in the mirror as I was doing it and he was staring at my ass so intently. Too bad I am too chicken shit to say anything to him because if I am wrong, I don't want to make the gym awkward because I literally see him everyday. icon_confused.gif


    I get stares but I read them as "what are you staring at!" as well, lol if is not that, I'm missing out a LOT!! lol
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    Jan 02, 2011 5:48 AM GMT
    cgal saidYeap, my gaydar's faulty. And it's too bad cause 'twas final sale. I went to a NYE party last night, and there was this really cute guy. He seemed totally gay (the way he talked, the way he walked, he dressed really well, dance moves were a little on the feminine side). I asked my friend, the host of the party, if this guy is into dudes. And he apparently was not. icon_eek.gif I was a bit disappointed. This happened to me again a few months back; I was really into this guy who ended up being straight.. This sucks. icon_mad.gif



    How do you guys know if another guy is gay, without asking if he's gay?


    That's because your "gayday" is based on behavioral cues that are commonly associated as being more effeminate. But if you're going for "gay" than that's probably the best it's gonna get.
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    Jan 02, 2011 5:52 AM GMT
    I used to use my gaydar which never worked anyway and I just see people as they are. Themselves.