TimHippie, have you ever read I wonder Urvashi Vaid's book "Virtual Equality". It is an incisive, perhaps a little dated (it's from the late 90s) but nonetheless largely valid, discussion of the curious situation of half-tolerance that american LGBT people find themselves in.
Geez, it's been over 10 years since that book was published and it was incredibly controversial (as was Vaid during her time at the NGLTF).
The same year, Andrew Sullivan published his own "virtual book" -- "Virtually Normal." It received far more attention than Vaid's book, probably because as a conservative white Anglo-Saxon upper-class man, he was much more palatable to the media. Urvashi's book, far better researched and liberal, got comparatively little attention. She's Indian-born, relatively radical and involved NGLTF in liberal causes not directly related to the gay civil rights movement.
Vaid's book was reviewed in the NY Times Book Review by Bruce Bawer, a Sullivan clone who published "A Place at the Table" (thus guaranteeing that Vaid's book would be panned). In his review, Bawer -- whom Vaid mentioned negatively in her book -- basically calls her a commie. At the time, the NY Times was in love with Sullivan, who wrote a regular column for the Times Magazine as well as occasional features like his infamous one announcing that AIDS was no longer a serious health problem.
I think Vaid's book would still be worth a read, but my favorite of that period remains Michael Warner's reply to Sullivan's book, "The Trouble with Normal."