Hetero-Life Mates?

  • tallguy86

    Posts: 39

    Jan 02, 2011 6:05 AM GMT
    Alright, I have been single for the last 3 years and recently realized I am actually attracted to guys. I have a straight roommate who is also often single (although he has been in a relationship in the last year).

    He is my best friend and we hang out a lot to the point where we have been dubbed "Hetero-Life Mates" in our friend circle. There is often a lot of comments about how he and I are common-law, dating, etc too.

    But with my new feelings and the fact I am now exploring my sexuality I don't know what to do about him. I am 100% sure he will still be my friend and be super supportive, but I am worried he will start acting weird or not making jokes about our friendship if I tell him I am exploring my sexuality. I know he will be fine with me, but I fear he will start being more cautious to protect my feelings and to keep from outting me before I am ready.

    Has anyone been in a situation like this? Should I wait to be in a relationship to talk to him, give him the most amount of warning possible and tell him before I start seeing anyone?

    Any advice from those out there who have been in similar situations would be appreciated.
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    Jan 02, 2011 6:22 AM GMT
    Tell him you want to be in a relationship with him.
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    Jan 02, 2011 6:35 AM GMT
    Hetero life mate? I believe the modern term is: bromance.
  • mich_jock

    Posts: 19

    Jan 03, 2011 5:23 AM GMT
    Tell him straight up dude. Took me way too long to figure out with my and my college roommates, who were all my closest friends. Told them one by one and it made my last year great because I didn't have to make up stories about where i was going. Also it became a little bit of a joke, but you always joke with people about random things, so it's just another thing that people can joke with you about, it's not a bad thing.

    If you guys really are that tight in your bromance, then this should not be an issue.
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    Jan 03, 2011 5:28 AM GMT
    It's OK to tell him. Assure him that you have no designs on him and tell him up front. Better to hear it from you.

    Also, discourage him from setting you up with other guys (unless he has impeccable taste or something). The (early) presumption with heteros playing cupid is that any ol' gay will do.
  • needleninja

    Posts: 713

    Jan 03, 2011 5:30 AM GMT
    i cant say i have been in this experiance, however i can give advice with sitting down and talking with him about it and what challenges you have been dealing with and that you have never and do not plan to interfere with him.
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    Jan 03, 2011 5:32 AM GMT
    I'm similar with one of my closest guy friends, but he's always known that I was gay. We joke that we're basically the same person, except I'm gay and he's straight. We're comfortable enough with each other that when we're hanging out, I'll point out hot girls to him, and he'll point out hot guys to me!

    So basically what I'm trying to say is, you can have friendships like that with straight guys. If he's really such a good friend, don't assume that things are going to change!