Meeting a guy for the first time, spent a great time with him for 24 hours straight, then goodbye for good. Has this happened to you?

  • Encore28

    Posts: 8

    Jan 02, 2011 10:49 AM GMT
    So I was visiting Calgary for the second time for my family, and after four days of being with them, I decided to go out of my comfort zone and went downtown alone by bus and train. Everything was spontaneous (and it was my first taste of snow as well), initially planned to read a book in a coffee shop, met some nice Canadians, but eventually I ended up going to the only bathhouse they have here. Hehe.

    I met this very nice Canadian man whose character and personality is as stunning as how he looks. We decided to leave the baths, and instead just spend time together. It turned out to be one of grandest moments of my life, from that time we ment until we bid goodbye the next day. I was unable to get his contact information nor his complete name. I was in tears when I was walking away from his hotel (can be a scene from a pathetic movie as it is in itself pathetic), he took the flight to Vancouver the day after, and I think I'll never see him again. It's one of those times in life when something very special happened to you, but it's gone before you know it.

    I'm flying back to Bermuda soon, and I don't believe in long-distance relationships either, but a part of me says it could've been worth the chance. I just need a perspective from all types of men here, be straightforward and cruel as you want, but please make sense. Thanks.
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    Jan 02, 2011 11:12 AM GMT
    There's places like that in Calgary? Weird.
  • Encore28

    Posts: 8

    Jan 02, 2011 9:24 PM GMT
    Haha. Apparently, I didn't expect it either.
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    Jan 02, 2011 9:28 PM GMT
    James_justvisiting1 said

    I'm flying back to Bermuda soon, and I don't believe in long-distance relationships either, but a part of me says it could've been worth the chance. I just need a perspective from all types of men here, be straightforward and cruel as you want, but please make sense. Thanks.


    I'm not getting why you didn't get contact information. If you guys so hit it off, I think it's nuts not staying in contact, if only to say goodbye, long distance or not.
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    Jan 02, 2011 9:31 PM GMT
    Carpe Diem, man... that's all I got to say! In a world of over 6 billion people, you can't let anyone pass you by.
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    Jan 02, 2011 9:32 PM GMT
    Calgary = boring.
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Jan 02, 2011 9:45 PM GMT
    It's just like hooking up with a nice guy you just had sex with, he stays after and he hasn't turned into alien the minute he pops his load. You lay in bed together and actually talk to eachother and you think to yourself for minute, only if he....if we..... then it's over.
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    Jan 02, 2011 9:48 PM GMT
    Well, by not getting his contact info, you screwed up. Not trying to be a jerk. Live and learn. And perhaps the fact that he knew he would be leaving soon allowed him to be a little more free. I'd say post a missed connection, but otherwise, move on and appreciate the great time for what it was. And no, a long-distance relationship between Bermuda and Vancouver is not worth it after knowing a person for 1 day.
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    Jan 02, 2011 9:49 PM GMT
    He could have been married to a woman, partnered with a man.. you probably will never know..and none of it can be changed

    What ifs? dont meant a thing. You had a great time, cleaned out your pipes, hopefully you played safe. For the majority of gay men... you scored!@!

    Not to quote Willy Nelson... but "Lookin for love in all the wrong places" comes to mind

    Has anyone ever met their LTR in a bathouse or at a sex party??

    bathhousehistory.jpg
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    Jan 02, 2011 10:14 PM GMT
    I truly believe that we meet people in our lives so that we can learn specific lessons from them, be it good or bad. Cherish those moments that you had with him and take them with you wherever you go. You never know, you may run into him again.....its a small world
  • Encore28

    Posts: 8

    Jan 02, 2011 11:29 PM GMT

    I'm not getting why you didn't get contact information. If you guys so hit it off, I think it's nuts not staying in contact, if only to say goodbye, long distance or not.[/quote]

    This is one regret I have. I'm the type of person whose shyness, when mixed with so much unnecessary thoughts, could make me end up in this kind of situation.

    Seaguardian is right, in the sense that we learn from our experiences and our encounters with other people. I had been in a similar situation before, and I had not learned my lessons. I guess, mistakes and their consequences come over and over again until we learn how to deal with them. I'll try not to overthink next time and just have as much fun as I can with the person.
  • Karnage

    Posts: 704

    Jan 02, 2011 11:32 PM GMT
    There's always the Missed Connections section on craigslist...
  • Encore28

    Posts: 8

    Jan 02, 2011 11:37 PM GMT
    Skotlake saidWell, by not getting his contact info, you screwed up. Not trying to be a jerk. Live and learn. And perhaps the fact that he knew he would be leaving soon allowed him to be a little more free. I'd say post a missed connection, but otherwise, move on and appreciate the great time for what it was. And no, a long-distance relationship between Bermuda and Vancouver is not worth it after knowing a person for 1 day.


    I agree. It's one moment to appreciate and move on. I guess it just happens sometimes to a person who isn't and who hasn't been involved for a long time that he thinks something great could lead to something greater, even if it's already close to impossible.
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    Jan 02, 2011 11:44 PM GMT
    Happens all the time, though the way you described the encounter it seemed rather positive, if fleeting. It's when you do exchange contact information, hell even see each other again and then make plans, and they still disappear forever on a whim, that it really messes you up.
  • Encore28

    Posts: 8

    Jan 03, 2011 12:04 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidHappens all the time, though the way you described the encounter it seemed rather positive, if fleeting. It's when you do exchange contact information, hell even see each other again and then make plans, and they still disappear forever on a whim, that it really messes you up.


    Hehe. Yeah, as difficult as it is especially for gay guys to find that someone, being positive gets me through. I know that it could've also turned out to be messy had we exchanged contact information (other side of the coin) but, I guess I will never know. Staying optimistic and moving on are the best course of action.
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    Jan 03, 2011 12:07 AM GMT
    I totally love when people create RealJock accounts to tell their tales of unrequited slutlove.
  • Encore28

    Posts: 8

    Jan 03, 2011 12:12 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidWhen I read your title only (as I was scrolling through the posts) I thought to myself, "Yes, that has happened to me when I me someone I whored it up with at a bathhouse."

    And then I chuckled after reading your post. Because you went through the same thing.

    I would suggest, allowing yourself to simply enjoy what you experienced and remember that it was sex along with some unexpected yet welcomed cohesion between two people who initially bumped pelvises before possibly knowing each other's names.

    Assuming you will never see him again and he has no interest in pursuing anything I think you can look at it two ways. You can either:

    A) Simply cherish that memory of time spent with another human being and move on.

    Or...

    B) Realize that if he did intended not to provide you with is contact information that all he wanted was a romantic one night stand and nothing more. Because if he wanted to you would have it, right? If he did not provide you with his full name or any contact information he had no intention of taking things further. And he may even have a boyfriend. Guys who cheat do not give out their full names so that they cannot be "found."

    Please do not take what I said to be cold. It is simply the reality of the situation.


    I don't take it to be cold buddy. I even appreciate it. I like hearing other people's points of view, helps me broaden my perspective.

    You're right that I should just allow myself to enjoy the experience. As to the second option, I wouldn't like to think of him as someone who's cheating. I guess making myself believe that he's a bad person doesn't make it right. Maybe I should just move on to the next guy in the bathhouse, eh? Haha. Just kidding.

    Crazy and cool tattoos, by the way.
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    Jan 03, 2011 12:15 AM GMT
    James_justvisiting1 saidMeeting a guy for the first time, spent a great time with him for 24 hours straight, then goodbye for good. Has this happened to you?
    Yeah, and it's all amar_m's fault for not being local. At least he's still on the forums, though. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Encore28

    Posts: 8

    Jan 03, 2011 12:18 AM GMT
    badmikeyt saidI totally love when people create RealJock accounts to tell their tales of unrequited slutlove.


    Haha. You can also think of it that way buddy, I respect your opinion. Yeah, it's not the best way to meet mature and respectable guys, neither have I intended to in the first place. But sometimes, things happen when we least expect it. And one way or the other, we all have made some unwise decisions in which something good still came out of it. One's mistakes do not tell who the person really is, rather how one learns from them, no matter how slutty it might have been for others.
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    Jan 03, 2011 12:22 AM GMT
    'tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.....shakespeare.......................................................................keithicon_cool.gif
  • oursirpeace

    Posts: 199

    Jan 03, 2011 12:31 AM GMT
    Funny, a couple years ago when I was living in Calgary, I had same thing to me, albeit short and not nearly as deep and meaningful as your encounter, I still felt for the guy and had my heart broken, which usually doesn't happen when I just met somebody. Enjoy while it lasts, that's all I can say.
  • Encore28

    Posts: 8

    Jan 03, 2011 12:50 AM GMT
    oursirpeace saidFunny, a couple years ago when I was living in Calgary, I had same thing to me, albeit short and not nearly as deep and meaningful as your encounter, I still felt for the guy and had my heart broken, which usually doesn't happen when I just met somebody. Enjoy while it lasts, that's all I can say.


    Yeah, I never expected it to happen. And it doesn't usually happen to me either, which I know you understand how it feels. Thanks for the response. =)