Okay, so I used to weigh 255 pounds. I lost that weight with a combination of running, crash dieting, and anorexia. At my worst I was eating as little as three hundred calories a day. Needless to say I have very little muscle left. I am six feet tall and at my thinnest I weighed 155 pounds and I actually looked good (in my opinion) even though I didn't have much muscle on me. When I finally had my anorexia in check and began to eat regularly over this past summer, I gained 15 pounds back due to my damaged metabolism, and weighed 170 pounds. Through RESPONSIBLE healthy dieting, I have lost five pounds, but all of this weight is fat and I look like a complete pile of mush.

I want to be toned and fit. People that see me with my clothes on always make remarks about how thin I am, but with my shirt off I look terrible. I am embarrassed of my body and I feel as though I did when I was over weight. This is bringing back feelings that I had when I was anorexic, and I don't want to go through that again. I want to harness these negative emotions and use them in a positive way. I want to use them to get fit and toned and finally let my body take the shape that it naturally wants to take through exercise and proper diet, but I want it to be toned.

Here is what I look like now, (eek) haha


I have no access to a gym, so that makes things a little bit difficult. I will be going away to college in a little it less than a month, and I will then (excited!!), but in the mean time can you guys tell me some things that I can do that would just help me start to get toned? I also really hate that I have these love handles as they are the one thing that look terrible both with a shirt AND without one. So whatever advice you have to help me get rid of those would be great. I don't expect to get ripped doing a few floor exercises or anything, but I would just like to not look so mushy. And yes I realize I have some extra skin from when I weighed so much, but like I said I don't expect to ever have the perfect bod. =P I just want to be a little bit more toned.