Losing Your Virginity while still in the closet.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 04, 2011 12:09 AM GMT
    COLORED TEXT GOES HERERESIZED TEXT GOES HERE

    Can a closeted gay, such as myself, ever hope to lose his virginity? If so, how? It's hard enough trying to find other gay man, let alone in a place as conservative as Utah? Am I doomed to a life of celibacy?
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    Jan 04, 2011 1:23 AM GMT
    Well i am in the closet and i will lose mine that way
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    Jan 04, 2011 1:23 AM GMT
    What is the benefit to "losing you virginity?"
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Jan 04, 2011 1:37 AM GMT
    It's pretty much guaranteed that all of the gay and bi guys on here lost their verginity while they were in the closet, or married, or worse.
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    Jan 04, 2011 2:42 AM GMT
    I lost mine when i was still in the closet. But it wasnt hard. I lived on my own. Do you live at home or with a roommate? Take a day off of work and bring someone over. Or just go to their place.
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    Jan 04, 2011 2:51 AM GMT
    barriehomeboy saidIt's pretty much guaranteed that all of the gay and bi guys on here lost their verginity while they were in the closet, or married, or worse.


    ^true, most guys i ve been with were closeted
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    Jan 04, 2011 3:11 AM GMT
    You can try Craigslist.
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    Jan 04, 2011 3:29 AM GMT
    cgal saidYou can try Craigslist.


    I wouldn't there’s been too many people getting hurt from homophobes creating fake profiles. Really unless you’re looking for a boyfriend or a regular thing what’s the rush? I know a hand isn’t as good, but use it for the mean time. My first boyfriend told me I should want to “give” my virginity not let/want someone “take” it.
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    Jan 04, 2011 3:53 AM GMT
    Sound advice, Chase21, thank you icon_smile.gif And it's not really a rush to lose it, it's the thought that I might never get the chance to decide whether or not to lose it. And the hand is a cold substitute I choose not to use.
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    Jan 04, 2011 4:05 AM GMT
    Homer saidSound advice, Chase21, thank you icon_smile.gif And it's not really a rush to lose it, it's the thought that I might never get the chance to decide whether or not to lose it. And the hand is a cold substitute I choose not to use.


    Aweee... Long term you may want to work towards moving to a more gay friendly state where you can feel more open. I also looked up gay bars where you live (posted places below). You’re almost 21 and soon you’ll be able to go to one. Maybe try dating websites as well to see if anyone is in the area (Avoid Craigslist!). Have faith that if you’re open to the opportunity of having a relationship it will come when you least expect it. Also be careful if you do decide to hook up ALWAYS use protection no matter what the other guy says assume he has an STD. But don’t be in a rush you have plenty of years ahead of you to have good sex, and you deserve to have it with someone who will treat you right in the sack icon_wink.gif Good Luck!

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  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Jan 04, 2011 4:08 AM GMT
    cgal saidYou can try Craigslist.


    Don't.

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    Jan 04, 2011 4:28 AM GMT
    I am from Utah, originally. I moved to Los Angeles. It's not any better here than it is in any other city in the US. You just have to meet guys in the places where its safe, in your city. For some of us, on-line may be the only option.
  • makhot

    Posts: 43

    Jan 04, 2011 4:35 AM GMT
    i dont want to sound like your mother but dont you want to spend more time dealing with the closet issue...self discovary and all. Id like to think of sex as something done in the relationship phase... i mean you are 20 you have your whole life to do the rabbit. the biggest mistake gay men make when their closeted is allow their desperation to govern their introduction to the gay world, people take advantage of that easily. before you know it you are turned into another steriotipical bitch, or worse. i have nothing aganst the gay scean but thats a danger spot right there, you could try find a gay socker team or something of that nature ( something less in your face) i just think closeted people need time to grow, it will solve so mutch we hate about the gay world.
    but what do i know im just another vergin.


    oh and if you decide to do this, try to at least to get to know the person a bit b4 you bend over.

    good luck ;)
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    Jan 04, 2011 4:41 AM GMT
    makhot saidi dont want to sound like your mother but dont you want to spend more time dealing with the closet issue...self discovary and all. Id like to think of sex as something done in the relationship phase... i mean you are 20 you have your whole life to do the rabbit. the biggest mistake gay men make when their closeted is allow their desperation to govern their introduction to the gay world, people take advantage of that easily. before you know it you are turned into another steriotipical bitch, or worse. i have nothing aganst the gay scean but thats a danger spot right there, you could try find a gay socker team or something of that nature ( something less in your face) i just think closeted people need time to grow, it will solve so mutch we hate about the gay world.
    but what do i know im just another vergin.


    oh and if you decide to do this, try to at least to get to know the person a bit b4 you bend over.

    good luck ;)


    Agree 100% and I hesitated posting those bars in my previous post. In all honesty most guys you meet there are only looking for one thing. I truly believe what makhot said is true and that it’s nicer to do it when you're in a relationship. Don’t let a creep take advantage of you.
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    Jan 04, 2011 5:23 AM GMT
    Waiting, such a frustrating word, but a wise one. And I think you're right, Makhot, I'm letting desperation get the best of me (if there truly is a "best of me"). I better learn some patience you'd think after twenty years I'd have obtained some...
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    Jan 08, 2011 6:09 PM GMT
    Try adam4adam.com , must there are in the closet too so they are discreet.
  • TheIStrat

    Posts: 777

    Jan 08, 2011 6:12 PM GMT
    I think most guys lose their virginity while still in the closet
  • Leo123

    Posts: 126

    Jan 08, 2011 6:20 PM GMT
    I lost my virginity with men while still in the closet. I went abroad and hooked up at the club. It was quite easy actually.

    Go cruise a bar in New York, Rio, Barcelona or wherever.
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    Jan 08, 2011 7:09 PM GMT
    What's the rush?

    Lose it when you meet a decent person.... not just because you feel some pressure from somewhere to.

    BTW, I am guessing that since ur in Provo, UT, that you're LDS. I was raised Mormon and so I know the horrible feelings that the conflict between your sexuality and the church can result in.

    Anyway, I dont understand where on your profile it says if there's a god he will stop you from meeting a man? Straight people have pre-marital sex and no one stops them. lol. Regardless of if God exists or not, no one is gonna stop u from doing what you want to do.

    Having sex is a choice. Just like choosing to have a salad or chicken for lunch (though normally quite a bit more complex of a decision, lol).

    I dont think having sex is a sin, but I do think its something that you should choose to do with someone that you know... at least a bit. And Especially (!!!) at the beginning... its can be a big deal, emotionally, and if you just sleep with a random dude for the hell of it, you might have a lot of crazy thoughts and feelings afterward that you were not prepared to deal with.

    Take the time to really think about what you want... There are all kinds of men out there to meet. You dont have to just fuck anyone who is willing....
  • Beeftastic

    Posts: 1747

    Jan 09, 2011 9:51 AM GMT
    Used To be the only way a gay man lost his ass in the closet, because there weren't a lot of options. It wasn't hard then and it's not now.
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    Jan 09, 2011 9:58 AM GMT
    Man up and come out or stfu and quit bitching about self-inflicted problems.

    Also, I was out before I lost my virginity.. just because the lot on here were too afraid to come out doesn't mean all "gay/bi men" are.
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    Jan 09, 2011 10:08 AM GMT
    i lost it while in ...

    but it keeps growing back icon_rolleyes.gif

    (prolly cuz im still in there, and its a rarity)
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    Jan 09, 2011 10:09 AM GMT
    mnboy saidMan up and come out or stfu and quit bitching about self-inflicted problems.

    Also, I was out before I lost my virginity.. just because the lot on here were too afraid to come out doesn't mean all "gay/bi men" are.




    Don't worry about such ignorant comments, Most gay guys lost their virginities while still in the closet, so the future looks really bright for you buddy, be patient and it will happen when the time is ready cheers mate!
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    Jan 09, 2011 10:27 AM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    mnboy saidMan up and come out or stfu and quit bitching about self-inflicted problems.

    Also, I was out before I lost my virginity.. just because the lot on here were too afraid to come out doesn't mean all "gay/bi men" are.

    idk, mnb, would that actually be your advice if the OP lived in Saudi Arabia, Yemen, or half the countries in Africa? Environment is not 'self-inflicted', and I don't think we've been told why Homer doesn't feel like he can come out right now, but I'll bet there's a reason. icon_neutral.gif



    That said, at some point Homer, you need to take charge of your own future...be your own hero...there is a solution...find it.


    ^ Thats a really positive advice for sureicon_smile.gif
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    Jan 09, 2011 5:44 PM GMT
    i say work on yourself and stay the hell away from closet cases. watch the movie "johns"