I think my cousin might be gay. Don't want to ask him though.

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    Jan 06, 2011 4:04 AM GMT
    My cousin who is 18 and in college I think might be gay but I'm not positive. I for one have had people mention it to me that they think he's gay, and there are some things that make me think so. Like I said he 18, he's in college and has never had a girlfriend. Several girls (all cute girls like cheerleaders and dancers) have tried getting with him and he always says no and avoids them and makes up some kind of excuse. He was a runningback on the football team, and quit the team to go be on the cheerleading team. (several of these girls are the ones that told me they think he's gay). And lastly, on facebook he makes it a point on his profile under his info to write that he is a huge homophobe and doesn't like gays almost like he is tryng to cover up for something.

    What are your opinion? You think he's closeted or just a regular teen boy?
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    Jan 06, 2011 4:08 AM GMT
    Homophobe = Closeted Gay
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    Jan 06, 2011 4:19 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidHomophobe = Closeted Gay

    I find this offensive, I am the biggest Homophobe and I ain't gay icon_razz.gif
    BTW can't say for sure unless you ask icon_razz.gif could be though
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    Jan 06, 2011 4:20 AM GMT
    yourname2000 saidHow the fuck would I know???? LOL!!

    Have you ever talked to him about girls/relationships/etc? What does your gaydar say (your rationale seems to be based entirely on what other people have said to you)? How much time do you spend with him? What's your motivation for asking? (want to bone your cous?, want a friend in the family?, want to let him know he's supported?)

    Anyway, too little info to me to take a stab at this. I've seen nelly guys who are actually straight. It is odd to me when guys feel the need to say they're homophobic...most guys today are secure enough in their sexualities that they don't need to advertise like that. And who knows about the no GFs thing (is he mormon? emo? a young republican?)

    EXPOUND please. icon_smile.gif



    I just didn't know if anyone could come up with any ideas from what info i put down... and yeah it would be cool if he was gay so I'd know I wasn't the only one in the family
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    Jan 06, 2011 4:21 AM GMT
    HotCollegeDude said
    ...
    I just didn't know if anyone could come up with any ideas from what info i put down... and yeah it would be cool if he was gay so I'd know I wasn't the only one in the family

    According to statistics 1 in 10 people are gay if I remember them right so...
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    Jan 06, 2011 4:34 AM GMT
    Why does it matter??! He could be gay, bi, straight, confused... you're his cousin - not trying to pick him up (I hope). If you like him as a person, hang out more and get to know him and enjoy the bond with your kin, if not make pleasantries at family functions and move on to thinking about other things that might might make your life better.
  • jmanorlando

    Posts: 205

    Jan 06, 2011 4:47 AM GMT
    First question - Does he know you are gay?

    Hence if he does he might open up about it, if not then he could be thinking the same thing about you.

    Is he gay, who knows other than him. However, if you guys hang out maybe you can throw a comment out there to test the waters.

    You can be direct - Hey there has been some talk and some people have asked me if you were gay. I just want you to know straight or gay I have your back and it's ok with me. (Then get his response)

    Sensitive
    You can come out to him, if he doesn't know and say that you were concerned because you saw his facebook page and you seem homophobic.

    Or start a conversation that is open - Like, Do you ever feel different? or like you just don't fit the normal mold? But fyi - If he doesn't respond right away then you might need to share an experience and see if he opens up and also shares.

    Hope this helps.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jan 06, 2011 5:07 AM GMT
    if you posted pics of him getting it on with another hot guy, i would say yes then, but until you do, i can't really tell you he is because i don't know the guy.
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    Jan 06, 2011 5:08 AM GMT
    navi_saiyan said
    HotCollegeDude said
    ...
    I just didn't know if anyone could come up with any ideas from what info i put down... and yeah it would be cool if he was gay so I'd know I wasn't the only one in the family

    According to statistics 1 in 10 people are gay if I remember them right so...



    isn't it .3-.5 per 10 people are gay?
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19129

    Jan 06, 2011 5:16 AM GMT
    He's only 18. Many young gay guys still in their teens (and even older) are still confused, scared, and in a state of guilt and denial at that age --- I know I was. Not sure if he knows YOU are gay, but regardless you might let him know that the only thing more UNCOOL than being a homophobe is admitting to being a homophobe -- especially on FACEBOOK
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Jan 06, 2011 5:17 AM GMT
    HotCollegeDude saidHe was a runningback on the football team, and quit the team to go be on the cheerleading team.


    I would guess yes he is gay for this reason
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    Jan 06, 2011 5:20 AM GMT
    toddstud saidWhy does it matter??! He could be gay, bi, straight, confused... you're his cousin - not trying to pick him up (I hope). If you like him as a person, hang out more and get to know him and enjoy the bond with your kin, if not make pleasantries at family functions and move on to thinking about other things that might might make your life better.



    my point exactly. lol

    I think my youngest cousin is gay too. He is almost doing exactly what i was doing when i was his age. Bad at sport, being a nerd, very good with girls but no girl friend ever and googly eyes when a hot stud walks by. I saw a lot of my younger self on him. But we r not very close, so I just let it be. Am I just a bad cousin? icon_lol.gif
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19129

    Jan 06, 2011 5:22 AM GMT
    ohioguy12 said[quote][cite]HotCollegeDude said[/cite]He was a runningback on the football team, and quit the team to go be on the cheerleading team.quote]

    I would guess yes he is gay for this reason



    Yes, you might also clue him in that as a "running back-turned-cheerleader" he may want to get over his homophobia icon_lol.gif
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    Jan 06, 2011 5:29 AM GMT
    Hah... stumbled across one of my cousin's profiles on a sex site last month. o o
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    Jan 06, 2011 5:41 AM GMT
    ....post pic of said cousin...i'll tell u if indeed he is >____>
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    Jan 06, 2011 6:20 AM GMT
    HotCollegeDude icon_smile.gif you'll never know until you make him feel safe talking to you and he either admits or denies it. It's that simple. Being you brought it to our attention, I think you should somewhat protect him for a while.RESIZED TEXT GOES HERE
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    Jan 06, 2011 11:21 AM GMT
    tallcanuck said
    navi_saiyan said
    HotCollegeDude said
    ...
    I just didn't know if anyone could come up with any ideas from what info i put down... and yeah it would be cool if he was gay so I'd know I wasn't the only one in the family

    According to statistics 1 in 10 people are gay if I remember them right so...



    isn't it .3-.5 per 10 people are gay?


    yeah
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    Jan 06, 2011 11:32 AM GMT
    HotCollegeDude saidMy cousin who is 18 and in college I think might be gay but I'm not positive. I for one have had people mention it to me that they think he's gay, and there are some things that make me think so. Like I said he 18, he's in college and has never had a girlfriend. Several girls (all cute girls like cheerleaders and dancers) have tried getting with him and he always says no and avoids them and makes up some kind of excuse. He was a runningback on the football team, and quit the team to go be on the cheerleading team. (several of these girls are the ones that told me they think he's gay). And lastly, on facebook he makes it a point on his profile under his info to write that he is a huge homophobe and doesn't like gays almost like he is tryng to cover up for something.

    What are your opinion? You think he's closeted or just a regular teen boy?


    Just ask. Save your gay drama for the theater. Save your sneaking around and all that for another life.
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    Jan 06, 2011 11:50 AM GMT
    HotCollegeDude saidMy cousin who is 18 and in college I think might be gay but I'm not positive. I for one have had people mention it to me that they think he's gay, and there are some things that make me think so. Like I said he 18, he's in college and has never had a girlfriend. Several girls (all cute girls like cheerleaders and dancers) have tried getting with him and he always says no and avoids them and makes up some kind of excuse. He was a runningback on the football team, and quit the team to go be on the cheerleading team. (several of these girls are the ones that told me they think he's gay). And lastly, on facebook he makes it a point on his profile under his info to write that he is a huge homophobe and doesn't like gays almost like he is tryng to cover up for something.

    What are your opinion? You think he's closeted or just a regular teen boy?


    Who knows? The "I hate gays" might just be because he's annoyed with all these girls running around saying he's gay.
    But! you can strike a blow against homophobia by telling him that the "I hate gays" bit on his facebook page makes everyone think he is gay.
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    Jan 06, 2011 11:59 AM GMT
    What kind of music does he listen to?
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jan 06, 2011 12:00 PM GMT
    Magic 8 Ball says ..... He might be

    The only way for you to find out is for him to tell you
    The homophobia thing might be a cover up
    or he might really be a bigoted asshole

    What you need to do is make it known to him that you are gay
    and he'll see that there is a safe place for him to go and confide in and
    if he's Not gay he'll have a positive role model to see that gay men aren't what he sees as negative stereotypes

  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Jan 06, 2011 3:45 PM GMT
    CuriousJockAZ saidHe's only 18. Many young gay guys still in their teens (and even older) are still confused, scared, and in a state of guilt and denial at that age --- I know I was. Not sure if he knows YOU are gay, but regardless you might let him know that the only thing more UNCOOL than being a homophobe is admitting to being a homophobe -- especially on FACEBOOK


    there's more than a few "late bloomers" out there!
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    Jan 06, 2011 3:54 PM GMT
    His resentment towards gays could just be the fact that everyone seems to wanna label him as such. You could be his best example, if he's gay or not doesn't make much of a difference. Be the positive gay influence that he needs in his life rt now.
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    Jan 06, 2011 4:01 PM GMT

    Personally I think you should tell him you're gay and hope he wasn't serious about the homophobia he claims on his Facebook page. You'll know pretty quickly if he's gay or not. If you're not out to him, why would you expect him to come out to you?
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Jan 06, 2011 4:44 PM GMT
    DJdorchester said
    Personally I think you should tell him you're gay and hope he wasn't serious about the homophobia he claims on his Facebook page. You'll know pretty quickly if he's gay or not. If you're not out to him, why would you expect him to come out to you?


    agree!