Am I overreacting?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 07, 2011 1:10 AM GMT
    The biggest stress reducing activity I have ever found is looking at my children. I feel so relaxed and calm. All my other worries become unimportant when they're around.

    Today, I came home from work and this is the conversation:

    Me (struggling to be calm): Son, what happened?
    Him: Daddy cut my hair! Do you like it? I like it!
    Me to my partner: Honey, is there a strange contest going on?
    Partner: Nope. I just felt creative. Look how good it looks! I'm sure I could be a hairdresser.

    I just gave him a tight-lipped smile and moved on. Some times ago, he told me I need to be more cooperative and supportive and less of a control-freak. So I have said nothing. I was calm and listened to everything during dinner. I didn't throw a tantrum. The kid seems to like it. That's the worst part of it.

    Here's why I don't like it: It's a mullet. We live amongst the poor, uneducated, rural white-trash. My children don't play with the children around them.Thanksgiving decoration are still as common as Christmas decorations. Beer bottles and other trash cluttering backyards of broken down houses inflicted with fungus and plant ingrowth are seen along with cookie cutter country clubs. The police knows people by their names. Virtually everyone has warrants for something or other. The drug culture is very rampant. They have mullets. This is going to sound very misanthropic: I don't want my children to think it's ok to be poor or uneducated or drink or smoke. I want them to be kind and open minded to the less fortunate, but I don't want to cultivate this type of culture.

    He has school starting on Monday. Not only does he have gay parents, now he has a mullet as well. I'm worried he's going to be bullied.

    How should I handle this? Should I just ignore it?


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 07, 2011 1:11 AM GMT
    It's hair. It's cut, it grows. It is not an issue.
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    Jan 07, 2011 1:12 AM GMT
    You should move.
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    Jan 07, 2011 1:13 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidIt's hair. It's cut, it grows. It is not an issue.

    It's a MULLET!
    I would shave it off, but I don't want to hurt their feelings.
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    Jan 07, 2011 1:14 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidIt's hair. It's cut, it grows. It is not an issue.

    Have you read this guy's profile? ... icon_eek.gif ... 'nuf said.
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    Jan 07, 2011 1:15 AM GMT
    Srsly, you should move. It isnt the hair. It's living in the neighborhood that's gonna fuck your kids up.

    And after a couple of weeks, I would take the kid to a barber shop and have his hair cut.
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    Jan 07, 2011 1:18 AM GMT
    Caslon17000 saidSrsly, you should move. It isnt the hair. It's living in the neighborhood that's gonna fuck your kids up.

    We will but it will have to wait for about another 6 moths.
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    Jan 07, 2011 1:19 AM GMT
    carminea said
    Caslon17000 saidSrsly, you should move. It isnt the hair. It's living in the neighborhood that's gonna fuck your kids up.

    We will but it will have to wait for about another 6 moths.

    Then dont worry about it. The kid wont pick up any association with the haircut in that short amount of time that he wont pick up just walking down the street.

    BTW, I dont think you are over reacting in being conscious of how your kid can be influenced by his environment and his perceptions.
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    Jan 07, 2011 1:21 AM GMT
    Yes, you're overreacting.
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    Jan 07, 2011 1:21 AM GMT
    Caslon17000 said
    Then dont worry about it. The kid wont pick up any association with the haircut in that short amount of time that he wont pick up just walking down the street.

    But what do I do about school starting? I don't want kids to make fun of him.
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    Jan 07, 2011 1:26 AM GMT
    Don't worry about. I'm sure the kid will grow out of liking the mullet very soon, especially when he sees the reaction to it at school. And if he doesn't, what's the worst that could happen?
    682432_talladega.jpg
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    Jan 07, 2011 1:26 AM GMT
    carminea said
    Caslon17000 said
    Then dont worry about it. The kid wont pick up any association with the haircut in that short amount of time that he wont pick up just walking down the street.

    But what do I do about school starting? I don't want kids to make fun of him.

    I'd tell him the truth. That that style of hair cut does present an image of ...state what you want to say... and thats why the kids are teasing him. Suggest that he might want to get a new hair cut that makes him look better....then take him to a barber.
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    Jan 07, 2011 1:33 AM GMT
    Business up in front and party in the back
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    Jan 07, 2011 1:36 AM GMT
    As a dad of 3 boys and a fellow control freak......if you have to ask "am I over reacting?".....chances are that you already KNOW you are!
    It is hair and well, it grows out!....You could accidentally toss some gum in his hair and take him to the barber to get the gum out (and fix his hair).....MOVE! or get a better trailer and a few trash bags to pick up the junk!icon_eek.gif
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    Jan 07, 2011 1:39 AM GMT
    what the other guys said....until it grows back, he'll be a very popular Walmart Shopper................................................................Keith
  • Springer70

    Posts: 65

    Jan 07, 2011 1:45 AM GMT
    Xelorate saidBusiness up in front and party in the back


    Huh... That was my nickname in high school
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    Jan 07, 2011 1:49 AM GMT
    Normally, I would say if the kid likes it and can rock the style- then leave it be. But how you described your area and how people associate styles with certain lifestyles, I would most likely get the hair fixed. You know your area and the people better than we do, and if you think there's a chance your kid will be bullied because of that hairstyle, then save him that by getting the cut fixed.


    682432_talladega.jpg

    Holy crap! This picture is wrong in so many levels.
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    Jan 07, 2011 2:26 AM GMT
    HeartRobb said
    682432_talladega.jpg


    Yay Harry and the Hendersons
    harry-and-the-hendersons-movie-poster-10
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    Jan 07, 2011 3:46 AM GMT
    carminea said
    Caslon17000 said
    Then dont worry about it. The kid wont pick up any association with the haircut in that short amount of time that he wont pick up just walking down the street.

    But what do I do about school starting? I don't want kids to make fun of him.


    I wouldn't worry about it. For one thing, you are going to be moving soon. Therefore, I agree your child won't have time to pick up negative association in any lasting way. Second, even if kids make fun of him, I presume he will be changing schools when you move? There, problem solved.

    Plus, if your child likes the mullet, I'd try to be supportive and encourage him to express his individuality. If kids make fun of him and he wants to get a different haircut, then be supportive of that too and let him get a different haircut.

    Bottom line, in a year or two, I bet none of this will even be an issue anymore. Just go with the flow for right now.
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    Jan 07, 2011 4:06 AM GMT
    Why don't you ask your partner to "create" a different look for your kid and explain him why. But ask your kid if he wants a new do.
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    Jan 07, 2011 4:11 AM GMT
    So....you are currently living in the "ghetto" and your s/o gave your kid a ghetto haircut.......icon_eek.gif
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    Jan 07, 2011 4:14 AM GMT
    I agree that I might not like to come home and find my kid with a mullet, but it's hair, it grows, and if kids tease him he'll quite quickly want a new hair cut.

    And if you want you're children to be open minded let them play with the neighbors' kids otherwise they'll grow up with the idea that there people with whom it is okay to associate with and those with whom it isn't okay or proper to associate with. They'll quickly learn that a) poverty is not necessarily a culture, and b) that they don't want their fathers to be drunks. You're kids aren't going to learn to 'want' to be poor, and your neighbors' kids don't want to be poor either.
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    Jan 07, 2011 4:15 AM GMT
    Ask him if he likes the long or short part better? Then you will know the next haircut he should have. Mullets can be awesome, though.
  • rebelbeard

    Posts: 558

    Jan 07, 2011 4:22 AM GMT
    Pull your partner aside and tell him how you feel. Tell him what you just told us. If you have kids together then you should be able to tell him how you feel about things. Then shave your son's hair and just tell him you both liked it better. You don't want your kid to feel associated with those kind of people. If your kid feels like he is a part of that group of people he might just join them.
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    Jan 07, 2011 4:22 AM GMT
    IT'S A HAIR CUT.