Not into ****** guys

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2011 1:45 AM GMT
    I used to hate it when I would read someones profile and see that there were certain races/types of man that they excluded from their vision of datable. The more time I spend on RJ however, the more I have come to appreciate (though still disagree with) the guys who are at least upfront about their biases. It's not fun to see something like that in some ones about me, but its better than getting to know someone really well only to hear them say "sorry, I'm not attracted to (insert whatever you are) guys here." Some guys don't even really have to say it, but you know thats the issue. I'm starting to believe that incorporating those exclusionary messages at least helps save other guys the time and energy of trying to get to know people who can't get past their ethnicity.... icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2011 1:49 AM GMT
    Its called ambiguous racism.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2011 1:56 AM GMT
    fuck 'em...there's a shitload of decent guys out there...walk over the idiots and find a good one...you won't have a problem................................Keithicon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2011 2:02 AM GMT
    I'd rather a person be upfront so I don't flirt in hopes of a good lay when it's impossible from the start.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2011 2:03 AM GMT
    mnboy saidIts called ambiguous racism.


    It's known on RJ as sexual racism, referring to the discrimination ostensibly only due to not wanting to have sex with a certain race.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2011 2:07 AM GMT
    think about this....are you into really fat, smelly, lazy, incontinent, impotent, paraplegic, blind, deaf, heavy smokers, young, old, or any other mix of adjectives?....personal preference is a funny thing when looking for an "intimate partner"....under different circumstances, many of these adjectives would be considered "protected classes" of people that you can't discriminate against...as it should be. BUT, when used to discern your potential partner...this is personal preference...so I think it is ok to say "....into hairy white muscular military bears..." for example, or whatever turns you on....otherwise...straight guys saying that they like 6ft tall, red heads, with blue eyes, 25 years old, and 36-24-36....would just have to settle for "generic" woman for sex......or we would all have no need for personals/dating sites....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2011 2:40 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidI'd rather a person be upfront so I don't flirt in hopes of a good lay when it's impossible from the start.


    Absolutely
    It works both ways.. I'd want to know upfront if I wasn't on a guys radar conversley I'd rather guys know who's not on mine.
    It doens't bother me when some guys have "not into older" on a proflle
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2011 2:48 AM GMT
    It's all about how you say it. Much nicer to say the groups you're into instead of saying who you're not into.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2011 2:49 AM GMT
    socalfitness saidIt's all about how you say it. Much nicer to say the groups you're into instead of saying who you're not into.
    +1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2011 2:50 AM GMT
    No fats no fems! icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2011 2:52 AM GMT
    Really fat, smelly, lazy, incontinent, impotent, paraplegic, blind, deaf, heavy smokers, young and old are things that someone can be easily describe. But how do you describe Black,White,Latino,Asian etc...Races come in soooo many Variations from Skin tone,hair color/texture,facial features and Cultures.

    I can understand people have preferences for certain things like Teeth,Personalities,Height, Smoking etc... But Race is something I don't buy.

    hmmp I could type longer and go into more detail about things,but I don't want to bore you lol


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2011 2:58 AM GMT
    socalfitness saidIt's all about how you say it. Much nicer to say the groups you're into instead of saying who you're not into.


    So I'd have to say for example

    Into:
    black,white,latino,european descent etc..

    and by the ommitance of Asian is going to make the guy feel better?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2011 3:09 AM GMT
    beneful1 said
    socalfitness saidIt's all about how you say it. Much nicer to say the groups you're into instead of saying who you're not into.


    So I'd have to say for example

    Into:
    black,white,latino,european descent etc..

    and by the ommitance of Asian is going to make the guy feel better?


    Probably not a whole lot better, but at least you're not singling Asians out. And I think most typically regarding race, if it were important you would be listing fewer than say 9 out of 10, just picking numbers - so you wouldn't be just omitting one.

    Another example:
    Into guys generally my age plus or minus say 5-7 years, in shape.
    versus
    Fat, old, creepy guys don't bother.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2011 3:18 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidI'd rather a person be upfront so I don't flirt in hopes of a good lay when it's impossible from the start.


    Im slowly coming to appreciate that perspective....I'm more of an LTR guy so its even worse when I feel like I've wasted my time attempting to establish a connection thats not going anywhere.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2011 3:24 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    socalfitness saidIt's all about how you say it. Much nicer to say the groups you're into instead of saying who you're not into.
    +1


    +2!

    So true. It leaves the door open to someone who might surprise you. icon_wink.gif
  • TrentGrad

    Posts: 1541

    Jan 07, 2011 3:54 AM GMT
    Lenoxx saidReally fat, smelly, lazy, incontinent, impotent, paraplegic, blind, deaf, heavy smokers, young and old are things that someone can be easily describe. But how do you describe Black,White,Latino,Asian etc...Races come in soooo many Variations from Skin tone,hair color/texture,facial features and Cultures.

    I can understand people have preferences for certain things like Teeth,Personalities,Height, Smoking etc... But Race is something I don't buy.

    hmmp I could type longer and go into more detail about things,but I don't want to bore you lol




    Well, not really. I mean, people carrying extra weight come in various sizes. What is a heavy smoker to me may not be a heavy smoker to you. What is old? 30? 40? 50? What is young?

    Does our homosexuality make us sexist because we exclude women from consideration when it comes to relations or sex?

    I think what makes it kind of sad when people specify what races they're not into is that they've possibly closed the door on a relationship that may well have made them very happy.

    HOWEVER one could say the same thing for dismissing individuals of a specific gender, age, culture, physique, physical limitation, habit, etc...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2011 7:13 AM GMT
    mnboy saidIts called ambiguous racism.


    ^^ This
    (Didn't think I'd be quoting mnboy)


    As with any other form of racism, people are taught that some races are more desirable than others.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2011 11:36 AM GMT
    Sporty_g saidthink about this....are you into really fat, smelly, lazy, incontinent, impotent, paraplegic, blind, deaf, heavy smokers, young, old, or any other mix of adjectives?....personal preference is a funny thing when looking for an "intimate partner"....under different circumstances, many of these adjectives would be considered "protected classes" of people that you can't discriminate against...as it should be. BUT, when used to discern your potential partner...this is personal preference...so I think it is ok to say "....into hairy white muscular military bears..." for example, or whatever turns you on....otherwise...straight guys saying that they like 6ft tall, red heads, with blue eyes, 25 years old, and 36-24-36....would just have to settle for "generic" woman for sex......or we would all have no need for personals/dating sites....


    Well. Fat, smelly, lazy, and heavy smokers are states of being that people can change... And morally shouldn't be held in the same category as ethnicity.

    Incontinent, impotent, paraplegic, bling, an deaf are handicaps and REALLY should not be put it in the same category as ethnicity...

    But I think the fact that you put them all together is the problem. I think a lot of times ethnic guys are made to feel inadequate or "handicapped" in the gay community simply because of there ethnicity. And like people with true handicaps and disabilities they're sometimes written off and are not given the same opportunities in various settings. Hidden or admitted, the idea of equality among the different ethnicities in the gay community is not the reality.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2011 3:35 PM GMT
    Haywire101 said
    Sporty_g saidthink about this....are you into really fat, smelly, lazy, incontinent, impotent, paraplegic, blind, deaf, heavy smokers, young, old, or any other mix of adjectives?....personal preference is a funny thing when looking for an "intimate partner"....under different circumstances, many of these adjectives would be considered "protected classes" of people that you can't discriminate against...as it should be. BUT, when used to discern your potential partner...this is personal preference...so I think it is ok to say "....into hairy white muscular military bears..." for example, or whatever turns you on....otherwise...straight guys saying that they like 6ft tall, red heads, with blue eyes, 25 years old, and 36-24-36....would just have to settle for "generic" woman for sex......or we would all have no need for personals/dating sites....


    Well. Fat, smelly, lazy, and heavy smokers are states of being that people can change... And morally shouldn't be held in the same category as ethnicity.

    Incontinent, impotent, paraplegic, bling, an deaf are handicaps and REALLY should not be put it in the same category as ethnicity...

    But I think the fact that you put them all together is the problem. I think a lot of times ethnic guys are made to feel inadequate or "handicapped" in the gay community simply because of there ethnicity. And like people with true handicaps and disabilities they're sometimes written off and are not given the same opportunities in various settings. Hidden or admitted, the idea of equality among the different ethnicities in the gay community is not the reality.



    This guy is awesome!

    Btw you said blind is a handicap and i totally agree.

    Paul wall can chew food because of bling, 50 cent cant talk because of bling, and micheal vick has no cognitive skills in the presence of domesticated animals.....bling is to blame!
  • safety43_mma1...

    Posts: 4251

    Jan 14, 2011 2:41 AM GMT
    not into overweight, lazy, rude, too serious, and inmature guys.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 17, 2011 7:28 AM GMT
    safety43 saidnot into overweight, lazy, rude, too serious, and inmature guys.


    you are totally rude.