I always appreciate videos like this... But there are some points that you brought up that I don't necessarily agree with.
Let's start at the beginning
- The dinner table... You were discussing a scene where gay men sat around a dinner table and were talking about men they had slept with and there penis size... And you say this was inappropriate at the dinner table. I would agree with you if there were heterosexual men, women, and children sitting at the dinner table... But at a table full of gay men who are all friends? Conversations like this happen all the time. While you may find it inappropriate, it is in fact the norm. To deny it would be a lie.
I've seen a lot of gay films both indie and mainstream, and I've watched a lot of straight films with homosexual characters. I feel like the majority of the sex driven scenarios that you and others tend highlight are taken from gay films themselves. Which in reality are only marketed to gay communities... So why not make it even that much more real? Why not push it to all the limits. You sure can't in a straight/mainstream film so there has to be some outlet for it somewhere. However, I do understand that some films are more serious and don't warrant such scenes.
The idea of having a character that simply happens to be gay and is also so many other things is not the easiest thing to do in terms of writing. Especially if that character isn't the focus. These days a gay character is considered a minority you need to have in a film or tv show... Almost everything you watch is gonna have at least one... Somewhere... Unlike other minorities, homosexuality has to be expressed in order to give the viewer and understanding that this character is gay, and to what degree.
For example... If you have a black guy or mexican girl in a film... It doesn't have to be explained what there minority is. It's on the surface, it's visual, and so much can be assumed or attributed to the character. (Partly because of all the influences these cultures bring to our daily lives and education we've had about minorities around us) You have the luxury of getting right into the plot of that character. Now with a gay character... There's the time spent outing him to the viewers. The time spent identifying which "type" of gay man he is. And then by time you really get into his plot It's either too small to have true substance, or simply non-existant. If they aren't a leading role (which in most films (unless gay) they aren't) there just isn't enough room to give the character more. Which is why a lot of the time being gay is that particular characters plot. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing considering many people can't even accept gay people at all. Any writer will tell you if the core of a character isn't believable, then the rest won't be either. Of course there are exceptions.
In terms of popular media I don't think the gays are only portrayed a single way. We have many different characters with plenty of different levels for all audiences. Take Will and Jack from Will & Grace. Two different types of gay males. One more "feminine" and flamboyant... And the other more "masculine" and reserved. Kurt on Glee - the out, proud, and young theater kid. David on six feet under. A character with so much depth his sexuality is truly secondary. The gay couple on modern family - So dry there sexuality is almost non existant. Helena on Battlestar, Tara on Buffy, Prudence in across the universe... The list goes on. There is definitely different portrayals of homosexuality out there. But I think it's what you choose to see. And I think as gay men we all have different experiences with homosexuality. So certain types of gay characters are gonna jump out at us more. For example I was never "the loud/flamboyant/gay stereotype"/nor was I ever negatively affected by that stereotype... So when I see it in the media, it doesn't phase me much... But many gay men I know have a fit.
I start to wonder why this recent movement in the gay community this past five years to spread these ideas that our culture no longer has the same pieces it had 20 years ago. I feel like that's a loosing battle.
In reality a HUGE chunk... The majority of our culture is sex crazed, image obsessed, fashion junkies, etc.... While I completely think we are ready to showcase other sides, we shouldn't pretend like these don't exist. Putting up a fake facade to be accepted into a society that would reject you if they knew what you really did when they weren't looking is a bunch of bull if you ask me.
And I found it very insulting to our culture history to say gay men who feminize themselves are causing the gay community to be less reputable.
It's those feminine men and butch women who are clearly gay/lesbian without a question that have carried the rest of us most of the way. They have taken the most scrutiny and have fought the hardest for "straight acting/masculine" gay men to feel comfortable showing there pride. Without them we would not be where we are today and wouldn't be at the point of change we are in now.
I think they are owed a great deal of respect. I forget who said it but I agree they are the backbone of our culture.
And lastly... Straight until proven gay? Hmm.. I don't really even know where to begin with that one... It's almost like innocent until proven guilty. Then once they're proven gay then what? We shouldn't be teaching our gay youth they're straight until they're found out to be gay. We should be teaching them that it's okay to be gay and when you're ready to tell the world that we will be here to support them.
Overall I enjoyed your video. I love a strong opinion! Looking forward to hearing more in the future.