Is this illegal?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 09, 2011 3:45 AM GMT
    So I stupidly trusted a total stranger a few weeks ago. Met up hooked up. We agreed to have SAFE sex, but both times we were together he took his condom off at the end intercourse. I was not made aware of it. First time I told him I was not OK with that, but he sweet talked me into bullshit. Second time I literally begged him to keep it on, he told me later that he took it off. So now I'm feeling awful, afraid I'm showing symptoms for a very dangerous STD.

    I live in Texas, and it's too early to get tested. Is there anything I can do to see him tested or anything the law can do to help.
  • disasterpiece

    Posts: 2991

    Jan 09, 2011 4:02 AM GMT
    Unless you actually GOT a dangerous STD, nothing genuinely wrong with what he did.

    It IS wrong, but there's no proof he may have armed you. Well not yet. Get verified.

    Hope you have nothing, man.
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    Jan 09, 2011 4:11 AM GMT
    It is illegal in some states to knowingly pass on an STD without informing your partner beforehand that you have one. But try to prove it.

  • timmytwister

    Posts: 169

    Jan 09, 2011 4:15 AM GMT
    So, the guy slipped it off just when he was about to cum?!! What a dirtbag! Kick icon_mad.gifhis ass!!
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    Jan 09, 2011 4:17 AM GMT
    Get tested as soon as possible. That is the most important thing. I know it is probably less embarrassing to put the question on a gay website, but if you can get up the nerve to explain your situation, try to talk to a lawyer for clarification on the laws in Texas.
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    Jan 09, 2011 4:17 AM GMT
    I got my baseball bat. Where's this fucker live?
  • timmytwister

    Posts: 169

    Jan 09, 2011 4:22 AM GMT
    flex89 saidI got my baseball bat. Where's this fucker live?


    I'm there with you. I'd consider it community service.
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    Jan 09, 2011 4:26 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]timmytwister said[/cite]
    flex89 saidI got my baseball bat. Where's this fucker live?


    I'm there with you. I'd consider it community service.[/quote

    Am part of of the baseball bat team!

    And next time hold your ground!
  • activeboy90

    Posts: 108

    Jan 09, 2011 4:30 AM GMT
    Call your district public health, they deal with syd stuff alot and sometimes have record and peoples histories maybe his
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    Jan 09, 2011 4:35 AM GMT
    Trust me guys I know where he lives, if I do in fact have anything, you'll see me in the news.

    Thanks for the advice guys, I'm going to get tested for sure, but I really don't have the money to do so.
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    Jan 09, 2011 4:40 AM GMT
    Ugh I am really sorry buddy. You are going to psych yourself out and any little pain or anything you feel will make you think you have an STD. But just try not to worry yourself because there isn't much you can do now besides going and getting tested after the 3 month window is up. I will keep you in my thoughts man!

    The sad thing is that these things happen a lot. When I was leisurely browsing missed connections with a friend for a good laugh, we came across one ad where a guy said he met up a guy at this sex club here in Atlanta and that they had sex. He said something like "You asked me to put on a condom and I did out of respect, but I hate them so I tore a hole in the top so my head was out. Every time you felt to see if I had a condom on, you thought I did cause it was at the base. Then I came inside you. You probably noticed the extra lube coming out later." That crap makes me sick that people act like that. Just goes to show PLEASE BE CAREFUL EVERYONE!
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    Jan 09, 2011 4:49 AM GMT
    Disasterpiece saidUnless you actually GOT a dangerous STD, nothing genuinely wrong with what he did.


    Are you fucking kidding me? How big of a fucktard are you?
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    Jan 09, 2011 4:55 AM GMT
    Am so sorry man, and hope you come out clean. Not much you can do to get him tested legally but reach out to a local gay helpline and see what they suggest.
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    Jan 09, 2011 5:02 AM GMT
    i would of kick his ass
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Jan 09, 2011 5:13 AM GMT
    OMG that's so shitty, I wish you the best of luck, I will keep you in my prayers!
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    Jan 09, 2011 5:37 AM GMT
    Caslon17000 saidIt is illegal in some states to knowingly pass on an STD without informing your partner beforehand that you have one. But try to prove it.



    DR2K, Caslon is right about this one. Texas is a state who's criminal law could cover the reckless or intentional passing of some STDs. But since they are included under the basic deadly conduct/assault crimes the person must know they have something deadly (ex, HIV/aids) and be reckless in having unprotected sex with no disclosure to the other party. Or they can be charged with assault if they act with the intent and purpose to pass on a less serious, non-deadly STD (ex, herpes, chlamydia, syphilis, etc.)

    The shit part is that it’s almost guaranteed you’re not going to be able to show any proof of his intent in taking off the condom. Therefore, you've really got no shot at making a solid legal claim that’ll lead to a conviction. But if you're still interested in pursuing action I'd recommend talking to a lawyer friend who's licensed to practice in your state. Otherwise, there's other good advice here: get tested and stay away from the guy.

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    Jan 09, 2011 5:44 AM GMT
    BlueBlur said
    Caslon17000 saidIt is illegal in some states to knowingly pass on an STD without informing your partner beforehand that you have one. But try to prove it.



    DR2K, Caslon is right about this one. Texas is a state who's criminal law covers the reckless or intentional passing of some STDs. But since they are included under the basic deadly conduct/assault crimes the person must know they have something deadly (ex, HIV/aids) and be reckless in having unprotected sex with no disclosure to the other party. Or they can be charged with assault if they act with the intent and purpose to pass on a less serious, non-deadly STD (ex, herpes, chlamydia, syphilis, etc.)

    The shit part is that it’s almost guaranteed you’re not going to be able to show any proof of his intent in taking off the condom. Therefore, you've really got no shot at making a solid legal claim that’ll lead to a conviction. But if you're still interested in pursuing action I'd recommend talking to a lawyer friend who's licensed to practice in your state. Otherwise, there's other good advice here: get tested and stay away from the guy.



    Yeah I figured it would be extremely difficult to make my case and prove it. I really just want to know though. It'll eat at me for months before I can get tested, but I'll try and be optimistic and faith in humanity.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 09, 2011 5:44 AM GMT
    You can get tested in Houston at the Legacy Clinic: http://www.legacycommunityhealth.org/

    Since you had unprotected sex you are eligible for free testing:
    http://www.legacycommunityhealth.org/ServicesPrograms/HIVAIDS/HIVSTDTesting.aspx
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jan 09, 2011 6:40 AM GMT
    It's Texas.
    You're screwed.
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    Jan 09, 2011 7:10 AM GMT
    First off, a day after you can get tested if you really want to.
    Its not the run of the mill std tests a tad more thoroughly..

    Secondly, yes this could potentially be illegal.

    Thridly, you a dumbass. How do you not realize he took his condom off.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 09, 2011 7:11 AM GMT
    DR2K saidSo I stupidly trusted a total stranger a few weeks ago. Met up hooked up. We agreed to have SAFE sex, but both times we were together he took his condom off at the end intercourse. I was not made aware of it. First time I told him I was not OK with that, but he sweet talked me into bullshit. Second time I literally begged him to keep it on, he told me later that he took it off. So now I'm feeling awful, afraid I'm showing symptoms for a very dangerous STD.

    I live in Texas, and it's too early to get tested. Is there anything I can do to see him tested or anything the law can do to help.


    so you did it twice?

    Im sorry but theres a saying that goes...

    Fool me once, shame on you

    Fool me twice, shame on me.

    icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 09, 2011 7:13 AM GMT
    I pressume its HIV you're primarily concerened about?
    (The others aren't pretty, but antibiotics from CVS or Walgreens take care of them in few weeks)

    If its been more than 20 days and less than the 3 month HIV anti body window period one must wait, and if youre anxiety is killing you, you can get tested for the Virus itself. I believe its called the HIV DNA PCR test and you can do it annonymously via online sites.

    These tests can have false positives, (which they then confirm with Western blots, antibody tests) but a negative is proof there is no HIV.

    They can be pricey, but depending on youre level of anxiety- you could look into it.

    Alternately, be nice to that ASSHOLE who did this and tell him it would give you great piece of mind if you both went for free STD screening someday. Im not sure about the law, but try getting his sympathy for your situation as a first resort.

    Good luck to you and feel free to email me with any questions.
  • hyperionx

    Posts: 232

    Jan 09, 2011 7:23 AM GMT
    DR2K saidSo I stupidly trusted a total stranger a few weeks ago. Met up hooked up. We agreed to have SAFE sex, but both times we were together he took his condom off at the end intercourse. I was not made aware of it. First time I told him I was not OK with that, but he sweet talked me into bullshit. Second time I literally begged him to keep it on, he told me later that he took it off. So now I'm feeling awful, afraid I'm showing symptoms for a very dangerous STD.

    I live in Texas, and it's too early to get tested. Is there anything I can do to see him tested or anything the law can do to help.


    If you begged him to keep it on, and he took it off without your knowledge, then he violated the "NO" rule during sex and that's a form of rape as far as I'm concerned.

    And he could be doing that to other people, so yes, you should call the police and report it. To several different authorities if possible, because you never know if they'll take a gay man being sexually assaulted seriously anywhere... Texas (where you're from), Canada (where I'm from), doesn't matter.
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    Jan 09, 2011 7:27 AM GMT
    5ebastian said
    DR2K saidSo I stupidly trusted a total stranger a few weeks ago. Met up hooked up. We agreed to have SAFE sex, but both times we were together he took his condom off at the end intercourse. I was not made aware of it. First time I told him I was not OK with that, but he sweet talked me into bullshit. Second time I literally begged him to keep it on, he told me later that he took it off. So now I'm feeling awful, afraid I'm showing symptoms for a very dangerous STD.

    I live in Texas, and it's too early to get tested. Is there anything I can do to see him tested or anything the law can do to help.


    so you did it twice?

    Im sorry but theres a saying that goes...

    Fool me once, shame on you

    Fool me twice, shame on me.

    icon_rolleyes.gif


  • hyperionx

    Posts: 232

    Jan 09, 2011 7:29 AM GMT
    mnboy said

    Thridly, you a dumbass. How do you not realize he took his condom off.


    That's not helping.