How can I find other gay people?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 10, 2011 5:28 AM GMT
    I live in Victoria BC, which has something like a metro pop. of 330,000 people.

    I find it very difficult to meet other gay people. Here are the things I've tried so far:

    1) Dating websites like manhunt/plentyoffish.

    2) The single gay bar. There's a bathhouse here too, but I don't see myself being that desperate anytime soon.

    3) Gay pride organizations. I browsed through the photos on their website, and nobody is really my age (about 20+ years older than me).

    4) Wearing flamboyant clothing. This one has had the most success, so don't laugh. I wore a bright pink cardigan to a philosophy class and my TA kept on making sexy eyes at me. In retrospect, he easily could have been making fun of me, but whatever.

    5) I put an ad in Craigslist's "men seeking men", specifically asking to hang out, or go on a date (classy, I know) and I got a whole bunch of replies, mainly asking for sex.

    This one guy was sneaky though, and he made it sound like he just wanted to hang out, and when we did he apparently thought that "hang out" meant "have sex."

    I was desperate though, and he wasn't bad looking, so we had sex. Afterwards he said we should be friends, which I thought was nice, except he never talks to me anymore.

    Also we had unprotected sex, so I might have HIV which would suck pretty hard.

    Anyways, can anybody give me some tips on just finding cool gay people to go grab drinks with and stuff?

    So far I've decided to just dress in ways only a stereotypically gay person would think acceptable (pink cardigans FTW). Also if I end up having HIV I'll bet most of the people in the HIV/AIDS support group would probably be gay too, so there might be a silver lining there.
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    Jan 10, 2011 6:18 AM GMT
    Most universities have student organizations for LGBT. Perhaps you should consider looking into that.

    Meanwhile, you're only a ferry ride away from Vancouver. When I lived in Victoria, I was commuting to the mainland every weekend (for entirely different reasons though).
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    Jan 10, 2011 6:33 AM GMT
    Thanks, I looked into the universities LGBT society and it is really small, but I should go take a visit.

    I creeped on their photos and most of them are kind of ugly or lesbian. I take full responsibility for the douchey-ness of that comment, but... That was my honest, (albeit shallow) reaction.

    I will still consider gracing them with my fabulous presence, however.
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    Jan 10, 2011 7:00 AM GMT
    Fail... .fake would be more like it.
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    Jan 10, 2011 10:58 PM GMT
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    Jan 10, 2011 11:03 PM GMT
    genericgay saidI live in Victoria BC, which has something like a metro pop. of 330,000 people.

    I find it very difficult to meet other gay people. Here are the things I've tried so far:

    1) Dating websites like manhunt/plentyoffish.

    2) The single gay bar. There's a bathhouse here too, but I don't see myself being that desperate anytime soon.

    3) Gay pride organizations. I browsed through the photos on their website, and nobody is really my age (about 20+ years older than me).

    4) Wearing flamboyant clothing. This one has had the most success, so don't laugh. I wore a bright pink cardigan to a philosophy class and my TA kept on making sexy eyes at me. In retrospect, he easily could have been making fun of me, but whatever.

    5) I put an ad in Craigslist's "men seeking men", specifically asking to hang out, or go on a date (classy, I know) and I got a whole bunch of replies, mainly asking for sex.

    This one guy was sneaky though, and he made it sound like he just wanted to hang out, and when we did he apparently thought that "hang out" meant "have sex."

    I was desperate though, and he wasn't bad looking, so we had sex. Afterwards he said we should be friends, which I thought was nice, except he never talks to me anymore.

    Also we had unprotected sex, so I might have HIV which would suck pretty hard.

    Anyways, can anybody give me some tips on just finding cool gay people to go grab drinks with and stuff?

    So far I've decided to just dress in ways only a stereotypically gay person would think acceptable (pink cardigans FTW). Also if I end up having HIV I'll bet most of the people in the HIV/AIDS support group would probably be gay too, so there might be a silver lining there.


    Sounds like you want to get on the list for Stupid People of the Week.

    In a town of over a quarter million folks, you should be able to meet other gay folks with ease.

    First thing is that you need to get uncloseted, and unstupid. The rest will fall into place.

    Second, you need to realize anything worth doing should be worth doing well. If you failed, in a MAJOR way with your lack of a picture, and profile, here. Why would anyone want anything to do with you given the poor job that you've done?
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    Jan 10, 2011 11:05 PM GMT
    Well, if Wherever, BC, is anything like RJ just go outside and shout "underwear!" and all the gays will come-a-running. Hell, I bet you could just whisper it.
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    Jan 10, 2011 11:09 PM GMT
    LMFAO @ Boxxy!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 10, 2011 11:14 PM GMT
    Try Trader Joe's, Club Monaco, or an electric or hybrid car dealership.



    On a side note- Who the hell posted a video on a?
  • tokugawa

    Posts: 945

    Jan 10, 2011 11:59 PM GMT
    You may be trying too hard, and others may detect some desparation in your approach.

    You may have better luck is you don't try so hard. Don't go looking for love; let love find you.