Ever went to a Gay Club by yourself?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 10, 2011 11:42 AM GMT
    How did that work out for you?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 10, 2011 12:32 PM GMT
    Always ended up talking to someone, met a group of people, picked out my favorite, got laid, never talked to any of them again. Ah I was such a slut. But on the other hands it's nearly impossible to make friends with or date people I meet at a club because their whole life revolves around clubs and I rarely go anymore.

    Btw you can have fun if you go out on your own depending on the circumstances. If you know a lot of gays then chances are you'll run into someone you know. If you drink, you'll talk to anyone and the club will be a generally good atmosphere. If you feel insecure and just came out of the closet and walk into a notoriously pretentious bars with a lot of Cs standing around acting like As by making fun of everyone else, then don't go alone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 10, 2011 1:09 PM GMT
    JB82 saidAlways ended up talking to someone, met a group of people, picked out my favorite, got laid, never talked to any of them again. Ah I was such a slut. But on the other hands it's nearly impossible to make friends with or date people I meet at a club because their whole life revolves around clubs and I rarely go anymore.

    Btw you can have fun if you go out on your own depending on the circumstances. If you know a lot of gays then chances are you'll run into someone you know. If you drink, you'll talk to anyone and the club will be a generally good atmosphere.


    This has been my experience. I loved going to gay clubs/bars by myself.
  • gaydocalex

    Posts: 80

    Jan 10, 2011 1:24 PM GMT
    I only go to clubs alone. It sucks when you meet somebody to hang out with or maybe even hook up with and you are burdened with other guys you came with. sometimes it helps to have a buddy to make it easier to talk to people but often it just makes other feel like they wont be welcomed.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 10, 2011 1:27 PM GMT
    Met my guy there while I was solo. Going on 11 years now.icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 10, 2011 2:11 PM GMT
    the_leo saidHow did that work out for you?

    Never badly, and frequently quite well, if going home with a guy is the goal here. And since my first objecrtive is always to simply enjoy myself while there, I never fail.

    My very first times at gay places were under the "tutelage" of the gay mentor I met online in Seattle, when I came out in 1995. With him at my side I was never nervous or reluctant, and learned to love gay establishments. Later on my own, and especially when on trips around the US, I'd research beforehand what gay bars & clubs would be on the way, and visit as many as I could.

    I don't know if you ask this question out of timidity & fear, or simple curiosity. But my own attitude was that these are places where fellow gays go, and I have nothing to fear from another gay man. If anything, it's they who should be fearing ME! LOL!

    And to this day, though tamer than I once was and monogamously partnered again, I still like to check out new places. Almost always with my partner along, mainly so he won't get suspicious or jealous (well, and maybe because I love him), but also cause I just like these dives, one of my guilty pleasures.

    BTW, one of my BFs used to hate gay clubs. He told me he'd had too many bad experiences, of just sitting by himself at the bar all night, getting more & more depressed when nobody was interested in him (and oddly, as a TV & movie actor he was rather hunky when I dated him).

    And I told him his problem was that he didn't do what I did: go there with the sole intention of listening to the music, having some drinks, watching the bar TV, and visiting with friends, or maybe making some new ones. If I went home with some guy all the better, but if not I still met my expectations in that I had a good time while there. We only fail if we tell ourselves we failed.

    And quite frankly, sitting at a bar looking depressed is NOT a good way to advertise ourselves. I always look like I'm having a good time, because I AM having a good time. I insist on it, I make sure of it. And guess what? Guys are attracted to that, and not to Mr. Glum Loser over in the corner, no matter how hunky & handsome he is. Think about it.

    And so you go out and enjoy yourself. Remember, you won't be good company to others until you learn how to be good company to yourself. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 10, 2011 3:43 PM GMT
    Going alone wrks better for me. When I go w/ my friend ppl always ask if were together and if I go w/ a group of ppl I'm more interested in hanging w/ friends than scoping the place for "new friends"
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Jan 10, 2011 3:48 PM GMT
    I prefer going out alone, i have no problem meeting people so its cool....icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 10, 2011 4:40 PM GMT
    I kind of want to know the same thing. I only been out to my close friend and he's gay too. I only went to a gay bar once with my friend and his bf. We went on a weekday night and pretty early in the night, so there wasn't much happening.
    But I want to go again to meet some guys since I never done that before. I don't want to go with my friend and his bf again cause it will be SO embarrassing if i got rejected by guys in front of them. And I never really met or picked up guys in the club so I don't think I'll know what to do. So i'm not sure if its better to go with friends or by myself.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 10, 2011 4:55 PM GMT
    gta129 saidBut I want to go again to meet some guys since I never done that before. I don't want to go with my friend and his bf again cause it will be SO embarrassing if i got rejected by guys in front of them.


    Being rejected is a part of the gay experience. Why not do it with some friends nearby for support, unless they're not that good of friends.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 10, 2011 5:00 PM GMT
    I've been to thrice alone and one time with a friend.

    The first time was hilarious...I did end up with a really hot guy ^_^
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 10, 2011 5:00 PM GMT
    I've been to thrice alone and one time with a friend.

    The first time was hilarious...I did end up with a really hot guy ^_^
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 10, 2011 5:28 PM GMT
    Friends at a club = Cock-blockers (unless you're just going for fun).
    Going alone = Laid
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 11, 2011 1:10 AM GMT
    When I was going to the clubs all the time, I went alone most of the time. If not close friends, I would at least always run into my disco friends- those acquaintances you only know from the clubs.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 11, 2011 2:02 AM GMT
    I have gone alone and can't do it as much anymore....I get overwhelmed with offers for sex.....REALLY!....it is almost TOO MUCH attention and a little uncomfortable at times.....but I have had some AWESOME sex out of it too.....even this past Saturday I was with a friend at The Union in Columbus for dinner and drinks .....a guy came to the table we were at and asked for my number and then followed me to the rest room 2x, propositioning me.....as we left I told him to come with us and had him in the back seat of my buddies car....he stripped and blew me in the back seat and I fucked him, and we let him out at his apartment.......he was 28 and handsome as hell! My buddy that was driving knows that this happens to me all the time, but this was the first time he saw it happen...he was STUNNED! and I laughed.....icon_biggrin.gif
  • menotyou

    Posts: 26

    Jan 11, 2011 2:16 AM GMT
    i think it depends on where you live and what kinda bar/club it is. i live in vancouver which is a fairly large city, lots of people around. but you will never catch me at a bar/club alone. i always feel like i will end up in a corner somewhere looking like a knob because im all by myself... then i think who the hell cares what other people think of me...so for me its a constant struggle to tell myself...that " yes, it is ok" to be alone....sometimes....so bascially what my ramble is trying to say...is that right now im not confedient enough in myself to go out alone...but im quickly getting there lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 11, 2011 2:21 AM GMT
    Frequently, when I travel out of town. Don't mind it one bit. A drink or two helps to not feel like such a loser ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 11, 2011 2:21 AM GMT
    I've gone alone before but I much prefer to go with friends. I've never gone to a club with the expectation of meeting a guy and going home with him. For me, I just like to hang out and see if there is anyone I know there and maybe meet some new people that I can exchange contact information with and get together with outside the club later on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 11, 2011 2:23 AM GMT
    Yes I went to a place called JRs in Denver when I was visiting. Lots of good looking people. Talked to a nice couple. It was sweet.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 11, 2011 2:28 AM GMT
    Going solo has its benefits, at least for the brave ones,

    Its good to go solo if,

    1. Looking to leave with someone
    2. To meet other people without your hags being overly obsessed with the guy you are wanting to talk to
    3. Checking out the guys


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 11, 2011 2:30 AM GMT
    I go all the time by myself. It's usually like Cheers for Queers. I end up running into friends.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 11, 2011 3:23 AM GMT
    menotyou saidi think it depends on where you live and what kinda bar/club it is. i live in vancouver which is a fairly large city, lots of people around. but you will never catch me at a bar/club alone. i always feel like i will end up in a corner somewhere looking like a knob because im all by myself... then i think who the hell cares what other people think of me...so for me its a constant struggle to tell myself...that " yes, it is ok" to be alone....sometimes....so bascially what my ramble is trying to say...is that right now im not confedient enough in myself to go out alone...but im quickly getting there lol


    I feel the exact same way. I feel like i will get into a corner and not know how to act there, since i'm new to the whole bar scene. Than i would have to keep telling myself its ok to be alone and not to be shy. it will be a constant struggle.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 11, 2011 3:25 AM GMT
    Going to a bar or a club without my friends = NOT happening
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 11, 2011 3:35 AM GMT
    hell yeah and had a blast!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 11, 2011 3:49 AM GMT
    I prefer to go out alone. I don't have to worry about what the group wants to do or be dragged to some godawful dump I'd not normally set foot in.

    All you have to do is engage people. Most will speak back. Don't go into a social setting that's exclusively gay assuming anything about the attitudes of others and you'll be fine.