Sorry to do this again...

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    Jan 10, 2011 4:17 PM GMT
    My friend is coming to visit me this week. I just can't tell if this guy is gay.

    Why I think he's not:
    -Outdoorsy type*
    -Likes to hunt*
    -Wants to join the army so he can go fight in Afghanistan* (I know, lots of gay dudes join the army for this reason but its still seems like a predominantly straight guy tendency esp. in his situation)
    -In a frat in college

    Here's why I think he is gay:
    -In a frat in college
    -He was a cheerleader* in HIGH SCHOOL
    -He is coming to visit me again when we're not that great of friends and the area where I live is pretty boring. There are much more interesting places to visit nearby. (OK so I'm just hoping he's coming here for me)
    -He is from the South, raised republican conservative (less likely to exhibit flamboyant behavior when raised in these circumstances)
    -He seldom talks about girls: hot girls, sex with girls, hook up stories etc.

    So does anyone think he's gay? More specifically, what do you think the percentage of guys who are cheerleaders in high school are gay? I know that at my college about 50% of the male cheerleaders were gay.

    *(I know a lot of these assumptions are based on shitty stereotypes but unfortunately that's all I have to go on. While I would love to hear from people who say "I'm gay and I love to go hunting," I'm really more concerned with determining if this dude is in to me. Let me add that I almost joined the marines before I got a scholarship and school loans and also like hunting, so we don't need to start all this bullshit. Thanks.)
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    Jan 10, 2011 4:38 PM GMT
    ncujock said
    -He is coming to visit me again when we're not that great of friends and the area where I live is pretty boring. There are much more interesting places to visit nearby. (OK so I'm just hoping he's coming here for me)


    This.


    All the other things you mentioned could be said by a female about him as to why she thinks he is straight.
    icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 10, 2011 4:40 PM GMT
    Wait. Are you in NC, SC or China??

    If China, then he is straight and just using you as a "room & board" and a tour guide.

    I retract my statement if you are currently in China.
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    Jan 10, 2011 4:40 PM GMT
    First I would ask, does he know you're gay? If he does, then that opens the door a LOT. You can start a conversation about how he feels about gays, invite him to a gay bar if there's one nearby or just as him if he's ever experienced a gay guy and how he compares it to str8.

    If he doesn't know and you're comfortable with him, tell him that you're gay. See what his reaction is. I agree there are a lot of stereotypes out there but sometimes when put together they do add up to an increase in likelihood. I don't see anything really glaring about what he's done or who he is and certainly there are things that seem pretty "str8" but I've done some of those growing up in a similar environment so yes, they can be misleading.

    Keep us up to date on how it goes or what happens.... inquiring minds want to know icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 10, 2011 4:40 PM GMT
    You're a handsome guy with a hot bod. He could be into you. Or, he could just think you're a good guy to hang out with. Does he know you're homo?
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    Jan 10, 2011 4:41 PM GMT
    StudlyScrewRite said
    ncujock said
    -He is coming to visit me again when we're not that great of friends and the area where I live is pretty boring. There are much more interesting places to visit nearby. (OK so I'm just hoping he's coming here for me)


    This.


    All the other things you mentioned could be said by a female about him as to why she thinks he is straight.
    icon_wink.gif
    Yep this is a biggie. If you're not that close and he senses that you're into him then why not come back....
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    Jan 10, 2011 5:30 PM GMT
    Thanks for all the help guys.

    Info: Yes I'm living in China. No he doesn't know I'm gay (I don't think). He makes more money than me and could definitely afford a decent hotel rather than sleep in my shitty apartment lol, so I don't think he's using me for free room, but maybe. There are no gay bars in my town.

    I live in a small town outside Shanghai. This guy has been here twice, the first time he was traveling through (when we met), the second time he came and stayed with me for one night and we just went to bars and got hammered. Everything to do/see here can be done in a day and he's done it, so I'm just wondering why he's coming back here. Like I said, we've known each other for about 5 mos. but have lived several hours away from each other for most of that time (except when he came to visit).
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    Jan 10, 2011 5:41 PM GMT
    Get on your bed on your elbows and knees butt naked and see what happens.

    No problem. Glad to help.
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    Jan 10, 2011 5:51 PM GMT
    ncujock saidMy friend is coming to visit me this week. I just can't tell if this guy is gay.

    Why I think he's not:
    -Outdoorsy type*
    -Likes to hunt*
    -Wants to join the army so he can go fight in Afghanistan* (I know, lots of gay dudes join the army for this reason but its still seems like a predominantly straight guy tendency esp. in his situation)
    -In a frat in college

    Naturally there are cultural differences involved here, but what you describe above also describes ME. Oh, and throw in fisherman, kayaker, bicyclist, camper, and lifelong motorcyclist who actually served 25 years in the US Army. And did I mention that I'm flamingly gay when I choose, yet can still kick your butt into the next county?

    The reason I get so agitated about these gay stereotypes is because they're what blinded my own eyes for so long about who I am myself. So forget these things about him, OK? ANYBODY can be gay.

    If he's gay, and he's knows that you're gay (he does know, right?), he'll let you know himself. Or maybe he's gay, but you're not his type. In that case, accept it with good grace, and remain what you've always been: his friend.
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    Jan 10, 2011 5:53 PM GMT
    ncujock saidMy friend is coming to visit me this week. I just can't tell if this guy is gay.

    Why I think he's not:
    -Outdoorsy type*
    -Likes to hunt*
    -Wants to join the army so he can go fight in Afghanistan* (I know, lots of gay dudes join the army for this reason but its still seems like a predominantly straight guy tendency esp. in his situation)
    -In a frat in college
    I'm an outdoorsy type.
    I like to hunt.
    I was in the Navy, and served in Desert Storm.
    I was a frat in college (Alpha Eta Rho).
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    Jan 10, 2011 5:58 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    ncujock saidMy friend is coming to visit me this week. I just can't tell if this guy is gay.

    Why I think he's not:
    -Outdoorsy type*
    -Likes to hunt*
    -Wants to join the army so he can go fight in Afghanistan* (I know, lots of gay dudes join the army for this reason but its still seems like a predominantly straight guy tendency esp. in his situation)
    -In a frat in college

    I'm an outdoorsy type.
    I like to hunt.
    I was in the Navy, and served in Desert Storm.
    I was a frat in college (Alpha Eta Rho).

    We met paulflexes. All true what he says. He didn't mention he also flies airplanes, which I think takes another kind of balls. Beware of gay stereotypes -- they will usually mislead you, as they do straights.
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    Jan 10, 2011 5:59 PM GMT
    ncujock saidHe makes more money than me and could definitely afford a decent hotel rather than sleep in my shitty apartment lol, so I don't think he's using me for free room, but maybe.


    There are plenty of people with money who'd rather take a free place to stay than pay for a hotel. Some are tight with their funds no matter what the circumstances.

    At this point, it sounds like you've developed some attachment to the guy and are looking for signs that he might reciprocate. You'd be wise not to go reading into things, but that's not nearly as fun.
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    Jan 10, 2011 10:40 PM GMT
    lock onto his leg and give him a good dry hump,,,if he hits you with a rolled up newspaper, he's probably straight..............................Keithicon_wink.gif
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    Jan 10, 2011 10:43 PM GMT
    vetteset saidlock onto his leg and give him a good dry hump,,,if he hits you with a rolled up newspaper, he's probably straight..............................Keithicon_wink.gif
    Or he already has a boyfriend. icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 10, 2011 11:09 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    ncujock saidMy friend is coming to visit me this week. I just can't tell if this guy is gay.

    Why I think he's not:
    -Outdoorsy type*
    -Likes to hunt*
    -Wants to join the army so he can go fight in Afghanistan* (I know, lots of gay dudes join the army for this reason but its still seems like a predominantly straight guy tendency esp. in his situation)
    -In a frat in college
    I'm an outdoorsy type.
    I like to hunt.
    I was in the Navy, and served in Desert Storm.
    I was a frat in college (Alpha Eta Rho).
    I don't think you're gay! Where's your card? LOL
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    Jan 10, 2011 11:14 PM GMT
    eb925guy said
    paulflexes said
    ncujock saidMy friend is coming to visit me this week. I just can't tell if this guy is gay.

    Why I think he's not:
    -Outdoorsy type*
    -Likes to hunt*
    -Wants to join the army so he can go fight in Afghanistan* (I know, lots of gay dudes join the army for this reason but its still seems like a predominantly straight guy tendency esp. in his situation)
    -In a frat in college
    I'm an outdoorsy type.
    I like to hunt.
    I was in the Navy, and served in Desert Storm.
    I was a frat in college (Alpha Eta Rho).
    I don't think you're gay! Where's your card? LOL
    Google my screenname. If that's not enough of a gay card, I don't know what is. icon_lol.gif
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    Jan 12, 2011 2:36 PM GMT
    Anti-climactic ending: so the dude came to town, we went out drinking with my rugby team and then he threw up at the bar and passed out. Game over. It wasn't even worth the effort, he just left a couple hours ago.

    But thanks for all your advice guys.