Giving Up Alcohol

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    Jan 10, 2011 4:46 PM GMT
    Sooo I'm considering going straight edge on February 1st. My roommate is hella supportive of me doing so, and she say's that by far not drinking is a healthy decision. Yet, I find it that in social settings you are definitely ostracized if you don't drink. I don't have any issues with folks drinking but it seems that a lot of people get on the defensive if you don't consume alcohol; a) they feel the need to assert that they could never give up alcohol b) they feel as if you're trying to make a point or that c) somehow you're judging them. I'd also like to add that I just started working at both a gay bar and a gay club and liquor is pretty ubiquitous at both places. I feel strong in my conviction to cease my consumption of booze, but need some support and guidance. Any other folks go out to party sober? How do you say no to alcohol when it's such a normal part of most adult settings?
  • commoncoll

    Posts: 1222

    Jan 10, 2011 11:32 PM GMT
    Just say NO

    Do you have trouble managing alcohol consumption? Are you worried about maintaining this commitment?
    I don't drink, most of my friends don't either. Most people who drink alcohol actually become defensive when I tell them I don't drink.
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    Jan 10, 2011 11:35 PM GMT
    all the time,,,,fuck 'em...it's your life - right? i never get shit from anyone,,they respect me and my wish....but i don't ever hold out a holy attitude either...being in the shit trough helps to stabilize that........Keithicon_wink.gif
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    Jan 11, 2011 1:10 AM GMT
    The drinks I get are usually ~$15/drink. I don't exactly stay "sober" but I do have a 5 drink max (except on splurge days).
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    Jan 11, 2011 3:27 AM GMT
    problem is Pauly, your drinks come in 45 gallon drums......................icon_lol.gif
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    Jan 11, 2011 3:33 AM GMT
    you can private message me about this if you want. its a complicated issue i know a lot about.
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    Jan 11, 2011 3:33 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidThe drinks I get are usually ~$15/drink. I don't exactly stay "sober" but I do have a 5 drink max (except on splurge days).




    I love you, Paul.
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    Jan 11, 2011 4:23 AM GMT
    I am 54 and have never drank in my life , tried it once when i was 15 to be honest , and never got a taste for it .... I have never once , been ostracized during social outing , and people love when i volunteer to be the designated driver .....icon_smile.gif
    Good luck in your resolution ....
  • tyler_helm

    Posts: 299

    Jan 11, 2011 4:28 AM GMT
    Hey been 20 years since I have had a drink. If you are struggling slow down don't do it all at once. As far as what people say screw 'm It is your life and you have to own up to yourself and what you feel is important.
  • zforce

    Posts: 1

    Jan 11, 2011 4:29 AM GMT
    f you do not drink for 90 days and have no issue or hang ups abstaining then you do not have an issue with alcohol -
    if its hard to socialize and deal with going out with out drinking you have to look at the bigger picture -
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    Jan 11, 2011 4:33 AM GMT
    zforce saidf you do not drink for 90 days and have no issue or hang ups abstaining then you do not have an issue with alcohol -


    i kinda disagree. controlled drinking is the last stop on the crazy train. 90 days can be ___ days to some people. and some people are really good at stuffing their feelings. just my opinion..it was said to me one time (and i dont think this kid is saying this) that only alcoholics sit around asking themselves 'am i an alcoholic?'. justifications and some totally cunning, baffling and insidious shit goes on in the mind of an alcoholic. at least in my experience. i dont know what its like for other people.
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    Jan 11, 2011 4:39 AM GMT
    mariojp saidSooo I'm considering going straight edge on February 1st. My roommate is hella supportive of me doing so, and she say's that by far not drinking is a healthy decision. Yet, I find it that in social settings you are definitely ostracized if you don't drink. I don't have any issues with folks drinking but it seems that a lot of people get on the defensive if you don't consume alcohol; a) they feel the need to assert that they could never give up alcohol b) they feel as if you're trying to make a point or that c) somehow you're judging them. I'd also like to add that I just started working at both a gay bar and a gay club and liquor is pretty ubiquitous at both places. I feel strong in my conviction to cease my consumption of booze, but need some support and guidance. Any other folks go out to party sober? How do you say no to alcohol when it's such a normal part of most adult settings?


    Just say no. "I'm watching my health."
    If they have issues with that, then the problem is theirs, not yours. Go find new friends. Friends who cannot respect your decisions and support you in them aren't really true friends to begin with.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2011 5:22 AM GMT
    Are you an alcoholic? Otherwise, I don't understand this decision.
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    Jan 11, 2011 5:34 AM GMT
    Thanks to all of ya'll for the advise, and as to the last post no i'm not an alcoholic at all. I'm just trying to make a healthy decision. I like the guy who said I should just say no, plain and simple. I guess I just needed to share my concerns cuz I really just began drinking alcohol this past year(when I turned 21) , but was always a bit wary of it; cuz of health, community issues, and cuz it's a bit easy to normalize its consumption when you go out...but yeah I will continue with my decision and if I ever drink it again I shall do it "responsibly" like I hope all people do icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 11, 2011 5:41 AM GMT
    you want to be straightedge because is cool? to be different? idk....life is too short to not live it up once in awhile...well good luck dude :i
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    Jan 11, 2011 5:49 AM GMT
    I think your smart for making this decision, myself, I'm one of the lucky ones who just don't have a taste for booze and while I do take a drink now and then, its usually only 3 to 5 times a year and over the last ten years I think i've only had 3 drinks max on any one occassion in my life. I've never been drunk and feel no need for getting drunk. The only thing you can do is help yourself and your health by avoiding booze, so If someone isn't comfortable with your not drinking, thats their problem not yours and if they make it an issue, then you really don't need them around you.
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    Jan 11, 2011 5:54 AM GMT
    IsmeIvan saidyou want to be straightedge because is cool? to be different? idk....life is too short to not live it up once in awhile...well good luck dude :i


    Lol no i'm not joining a minor threat group anytime soon, and I don't think I wanna be "cool", I was just using the term straight edge in a generic sense to mean i'm abstaining from drinking icon_wink.gif

    Have fun living it up and being lush!! icon_cool.gif
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    Jan 11, 2011 6:15 AM GMT
    There's a difference between between a lush and drinking socially. Simply because there are alcoholics doesn't make drinking a bad thing. And I'm at a loss as to why it's a healthy decision. Are you eating a diet free of unhealthy fats and preservatives, too?
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    Jan 11, 2011 6:51 AM GMT
    zforce saidf you do not drink for 90 days and have no issue or hang ups abstaining then you do not have an issue with alcohol -
    if its hard to socialize and deal with going out with out drinking you have to look at the bigger picture -


    For a lot of people who live in the city, and have access to alcohol when ever they want it, don't relies they have a problem. Take them to the bush for a weekend where there are no easy access to a pub, and they will soon relies they do have a problem.
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    Jan 11, 2011 6:56 AM GMT
    Yeah, going "straight edge" is a bit extreme. I drank a lot during high school. Really, a lot. By the time I hit college, I got bored with drinking. Also, got tired of blowing so much cash on alcohol. So I only had an occasional drink during parties or hanging with friends. Sure, at that age you're surrounded by peer pressure and plenty of opportunities to get plastered. But you know, it's really easy to say "no thanks". You don't even have to explain yourself. Or you can have some fun and make up a story about "the last time you drank". icon_lol.gif

    Also, all it takes is some type of beverage in your hand to not raise any eyebrows at a club or party. Just order a Coke. People will think it's a cocktail or something. So get used to paying for $5 soft drinks at bars. Some bars will give you free soft drinks if you tell them you're the designated driver.

    But yeah, it's all about self control and having a strong will. You shouldn't feel compelled to drink because everyone else is, or because it's what adults are supposed to do. Be yourself.
  • ja89

    Posts: 789

    Jan 11, 2011 7:05 AM GMT
    I'm starting the same thing up again for training purposes. What I do to get people off my back is order a shirley temple in a rocks glass and sip it like its an alcoholic drink plus I know of all sorts of mixers and fillers that make it seem like your drinking even though you're not. I do know what you are talking about, I have 2 sets of friends. The ones that I train with and don't drink and the ones I used to train with and now are all alcoholics. You just gotta know how to shut them up sometimes.
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    Jan 11, 2011 7:11 AM GMT
    One of my best decisions was to not drink until I was over 22, not even a sip of alcohol. Reasons: a) I didn't want my happiness to be dependent on a substance; I wanted to discover happiness myself. b) it can be expensive. c) I wanted to be a role model for others, which is great since I can tell my students about it. d) For some people alcohol can be related to anger issues, causing harm to others.

    I was never given grief over this decision. One day when I was 22 I was at a fundraiser and decided to finally have a glass. But I made sure during that exact point in time that I was content without it, that I merely wanted to enjoy the taste to accent the evening. Since then, if I feel that I want to drink to mask feelings, then I don't drink. As a result, I believe I'm a much happier person today.

    I'm glad you've put thought into this decision.
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    Jan 11, 2011 3:53 PM GMT
    unfounded7 saidThere's a difference between between a lush and drinking socially. Simply because there are alcoholics doesn't make drinking a bad thing. And I'm at a loss as to why it's a healthy decision. Are you eating a diet free of unhealthy fats and preservatives, too?


    I never said drinking was bad. As to it being a healthy decision I don't think not drinking is unhealthy do you?? Drinking in moderation is cool(and shit if you wanan get plastered by all means feel free, its fun icon_smile.gif and like I said there's definitely no judgement on my behalf to people who decide to drink, everyone drink and be merry icon_wink.gif
    As to the question about my diet, i'm going veggie again the same day...

    -on another note I feel like such a nerd cuz I googled alcohol studies and found this neat library/center at Rutgers that conducts all sorts of studies on alcohol and they house a huge collection of alcohol related ads,books,and other media.
    How cool is that!

    http://alcoholstudies.rutgers.edu/library/research_portal/students/index.html
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    Jan 11, 2011 4:17 PM GMT
    mariojp saidAs to it being a healthy decision I don't think not drinking is unhealthy do you??


    Why the hell would I think not drinking is unhealthy? That's absurd. But I don't consider not drinking a "healthy" decision. You can be a healthy person and drink occasionally.
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    Jan 11, 2011 11:11 PM GMT
    I'm going bent edge.