I am not well.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 26, 2008 5:06 AM GMT
    Hey guys, it's me.
    I haven't been myself in the past few weeks since I have been in touch with my South African ex, as I was 'begging for sex'. Okay, it was a 'full-meant' joke, as he is in a relationship now. I think the truth was more than I can handle. The reason our relationship did not work out was that I can be very harsh pressuring him a lot to come out to his folks when we were together.
    He was somebody who would be five feet away ahead of me when we walk outside the house: be it on the street or in the mall. Yet, I endured that.
    Anyway, our mutual friends would hardly share anything when I ask about him, let alone volunteer info. They always tease me, "Why don't you ask him yourself?"
    I did.
    He told me that after we broke up, he decided to come out to his parents (on his 42nd birthday) and they were very supportive. It didn't take him long to find a new lover: another Filipino guy. *ouch!*
    What hurts me most is that the new bf is the one who he'd take to South Africa next month and introduce to his parents. I deserve to be in his place!!! I worked so hard on it!!! The promise of happiness I guaranteed him after coming out is something he should be sharing with ME!!!
    Fuck, it's devastating and it's so painful I could die. All I do is cry.
    Oh, and get drunk even on skool nitesicon_idea.gif
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Mar 26, 2008 5:11 AM GMT
    Oh babe, I'm so sorry to hear how upset you are. I really don't have any advice to share, except that you'll eventually accept how things have turned out and move on.

    It's shitty advice, I know.

    But all that really matters is that all the fabulous people on RJ love you!!!
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    Mar 26, 2008 5:15 AM GMT
    Thanks, I'm glad I have an alternate forum as I can't post this on facebook. It will just rattle my friends. Though I got people messaging (re: current status update) why I fired my last therapist (again).
    "CLINICAL MESS" MY ASS!!! HA!
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    Mar 26, 2008 6:22 AM GMT
    hey zimatar

    sorry to hear about your woes. Men, eh?! Maybe it's for the best and you'll find someone who you deserve. Or maybe not. Keep crying, it's good for the soul.

    all the best
    Malc xx
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    Mar 26, 2008 6:56 AM GMT
    you played the role you were supposed to play and now you're in a different place in your life. it hurts. it sucks. but there's nothing you can do to force the change you THINK you want... remember: people become ex's for a reason (usually more than one).

    it may not be easy to see it right now, and maybe you don't even WANT to see it right now, but you are better off without him - how could you be better off by being with someone who doesn't want to be with you?

    you're a superstar. you're gonna be great. i just know it.

    xoxo
    j.
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    Mar 26, 2008 7:10 AM GMT
    Thanks, guys. It was a bad break-up, indeed. If my memory serves me right, my last words to him were, "Thank you for being a reminder of someone I don't wanna be when I turn 40."
    At least I was still being courteous...
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 26, 2008 7:37 AM GMT
    Hey there Zimmy, sorry to hear about that...

    So you DO have a serious side... sorry its in such pain at the moment. I hope you can move on and find yourself a new man, and remember we are here anytime...
    Best wishes for you man.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 26, 2008 8:07 AM GMT
    Zim, you more than deserve to be in the other pinoy's place. But HE doesn't deserve you now. Think of that instead. icon_biggrin.gif

    Sounds like a right asshole.
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    Mar 26, 2008 3:38 PM GMT
    Zimmy,

    I'm here for you baby boy!!! Hang in there! Like dancerjack said, he's now an Ex for a reason, maybe more! I wish I had some magical words to make you feel better, however all I can offer you is me! Just hang in there, we're ALL pulling for you!!! MANY hugs and kisses from San Francisco!!!

    Rob
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    Mar 26, 2008 3:44 PM GMT
    Zimitar,

    I'm so sorry, buddy. I don't have any advice beyond what's been said, but I'll echo everybody else and say we're here for you!

    And you do, by the way, deserve so much better.
  • justjk

    Posts: 302

    Mar 26, 2008 4:10 PM GMT
    So sorry bout how ur feelin Zim, life and love can suck at times, but like all here have said we're here for you, it will all work out in the end, and as we like to say in Texas, "I could get cha a couple of heavy duty wranglers to head up there and beat the shit out of em!!!" be good!
  • NickoftheNort...

    Posts: 1416

    Mar 26, 2008 4:15 PM GMT
    May you arise yet again, like a reverse timelapse ice cream Sunday:

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    Mar 26, 2008 4:19 PM GMT
    Zimitar so sorry but with every closure there is an opening!

    You will get thro' it ....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 26, 2008 4:34 PM GMT
    Hey Zimatar,

    Sorry to hear about about your love loss. This situation reminds me of a song that Pink made. "I was in love with ya"

    Don't think of it as your fault he used you.

    For him to even pick up a guy so fast only meant that you were just there because he needed company or entertainment.

    Just know that his new guy will never rock like you do!

    Your young, cute, and sexy You could find someone better. Did you really have that much in common with this guy?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 26, 2008 4:51 PM GMT
    Hey Zim - been there. Sucks royally. But hey, take comfort that if you wanted, there's dozens of RealJocks who'd go rearrange this guy's face for ya if you wanted! icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 26, 2008 5:53 PM GMT
    zimatar said
    Fuck, it's devastating and it's so painful I could die. All I do is cry.
    Oh, and get drunk even on skool nitesicon_idea.gif


    Yes, cry it all out. Then shake your head and look to the sky, stretch your arms and be thankful you made it out in one piece.

    Then you can conquer more of the world.

    All the best. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 26, 2008 6:05 PM GMT
    Aww Zimmy. I feel for ya man. Even though I don't know where your comming from, haveing never had a BF yet, I still know that you will come out stronger.

    4033.gif
  • Thirdbeach

    Posts: 1364

    Mar 26, 2008 6:06 PM GMT
    Hey Zimi:

    My first thought: DancerJack how could you do that to Zimi, then I realized you were talking about someone other than Dancer.

    Cry it out, then move on with your life. Short term pain can lead to long term gain.
    Remember living well is the best revenge.

    Who knows; the Ex's parents may not like the guy or the guy may not like the parents.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 26, 2008 6:14 PM GMT
    These images have nothing to do with your problem, but, I hope they will distract you for a few moments for a laugh. Tears aren't productive unless they're peppered with a few giggles.

    kermit.gif
    santa.gif
    burkatalk.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 26, 2008 6:18 PM GMT
    Really sorry to hear about your situation Zimmy. Obviously this wasn't the one for you and in time you will see this. You helped him get to a better place in his life and that bit of karma will come back to you.

    You're a very special guy and I wish you all the best while you sort this out for yourself.
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    Mar 30, 2008 2:47 PM GMT
    Too bad you cannot edit the title of the thread.
    Anyway, here's a BIG THANK YOU for your kind, reassuring words. Your supportive gesture equally compliments the strong support I received from my tangible friends offline. You're all lovely individuals. I won't be thanking you one by one but you know who you are and yes, I do have a serious side only known to few. LOL
    Special mention also to those who welcomed me to their world via facebook, now I don't only get to message you... I can also talk to you live over the phoneicon_smile.gif))
    Happy that I was ahead of my expected deadline to just get over the entire shituation. All I needed were my solid friendships and a dancefloor. Combined: they're almost my new religion.
    ZiM aka o.D. in Dubai xx
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    Mar 30, 2008 2:52 PM GMT
    Zimmy,

    You're one of my favorite people on this site, and it's because you have this great, floppy, bouncy spirit. That's what will see you through anything. I can't see you being down for long.

    A hug from me too, and a squirt of seltzer down your pants.

    Jeff
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    Mar 30, 2008 2:54 PM GMT
    sorry to hear ya problems sexy

    Big hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Mar 30, 2008 2:55 PM GMT
    You deserve better than him.
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    Mar 30, 2008 3:25 PM GMT
    Zim,

    You are a good guy - and you contribute a lot to the world. You deserve and will be getting someone really fine coming down the path into your life.....I'm sure of it!