Whore Pressure

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2011 9:24 PM GMT
    So I feel like there is this pressure to be promiscuous in your 20s especially early 20s and as I think about it I don't understand it. You can slut it up at any point in your life and there will ALWAYS be other people that wanna slut it up with you why is there emphasis on the 20s? It's not like whores are going anywhere nor is your sex drive (well.. unless you're really really old). When you're in your 30's and 40's does your sex drive/sex stamina diminish that much? Is there a ticking clock on being a whore? icon_eek.gif
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jan 11, 2011 9:28 PM GMT
    I think one should have sex on their own terms and never mind what other people expect. If you enjoy casual sex and want to have it, go for it. If you don't want to have casual sex and don't to have it, then don't.
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    Jan 11, 2011 9:33 PM GMT
    The OP wasn't actually a personal thing I was just thinking about the social boundaries around being in your 20's and where those boundaries originated. I mean aren't there boisterous and horny 30-40 year olds? Is that just over looked? Is it because we're (usually) prettier in our 20s?
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    Jan 11, 2011 9:33 PM GMT
    Pay ZERO attention to any pressure of promiscuity at any age. There's a time and a place for it, and pressure to conform to others ideals is just rediculous. Be who YOU are and conform to your own values. Stay true to yourself and your belief systems. There's no timeline, no need for a long list of conquests, etc. Your sex drive does not diminish, you just get smarter and have more self control as you grow. Whatever you do, do it with CLASS.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2011 10:34 PM GMT
    Promiscuity is fun at any age. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2011 2:24 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidPromiscuity is fun at any age. icon_biggrin.gif


    This guyyyy icon_lol.gif
  • TheIStrat

    Posts: 777

    Jan 12, 2011 2:25 AM GMT
    Do what makes you happy. I live in DC and enjoy being promiscuous. It;s like I'm a fat kid at a buffet in this city
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    Jan 12, 2011 2:27 AM GMT
    Because, in terms of biology, younger men are more prone to be sexually hyperactive.

    Also because of Grindr - everyone under 30 nowadays having a smartphone makes it easy to hook up whenever, and since you're young, you're horny more often... you get the picture. Thus, monogamous relationships among younger people are becoming fewer and farther between.
  • Ironman4U

    Posts: 738

    Jan 12, 2011 2:27 AM GMT
    Shhhh...it's a secret....don't tell anyone, but your sex drive can be just as robust when you're in your 50's (much less 30's and 40's).

    Kids say the darndest things. icon_lol.gif
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    Jan 12, 2011 2:37 AM GMT
    hehe "whore pressure"

    anyway, I think it's because most people think we're immature, sex-crazed and hormonal. And somehow hitting the big "3-0" is an indication that we've gained enough life experience to graduate into maturity... and by life experience, they usually mean "slutting it up".

    Now, I can't get the words "whore pressure" out of my head.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2011 2:39 AM GMT
    Ironman4U saidShhhh...it's a secret....don't tell anyone, but your sex drive can be just as robust when you're in your 50's (much less 30's and 40's).

    Kids say the darndest things. icon_lol.gif


    Sooo the 30s-50s want to have sex as much as the 20s? Or does the urgency decrease?
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    Jan 12, 2011 2:45 AM GMT
    I've thought about this a lot. I'm not naturally a go-getter so I've not a lot of experience hooking up or being promiscuous. Doesn't mean there aren't guys I don't wanna mouth-fuck or something, but you have to weigh it against the value of being in a relationship.

    Promiscuity has its positives, like lots of sex, but that also requires care since you'd most likely want attractive guys, as well as being safe and not getting an STD or pregnant or whatever.

    It's cost may be emotional, or psychological, or even physical (pregnancy, again) and there is evidence to suggest that those without relationship skills developed earlier have harder times to adapt when they are older. That old thing. And anyway, no one wants to be that old thing...

    Admittedly, I'm jealous of those who have lots of sex, but that was because I wasn't in a secure relationship where lots of regular sex was to be had. The whore pressure is there, but it is absolutely a social pressure, and deserves thought.

    Now the positives to a relationship can be manifold, but the problem with being in a relationship early is that A) you need lots of sex (I might be reading myself into here...) and B) relationship skills are developing, and so there is the risk of misunderstanding, miscommunicating, and mismanaging emotional issues. It takes time and experience and the necessary tools to cope with these things, something not easily found in promiscuous lifestyles.
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    Jan 12, 2011 2:47 AM GMT
    shaag382 said
    Ironman4U saidShhhh...it's a secret....don't tell anyone, but your sex drive can be just as robust when you're in your 50's (much less 30's and 40's).

    Kids say the darndest things. icon_lol.gif


    Sooo the 30s-50s want to have sex as much as the 20s? Or does the urgency decrease?


    Some might say hormonal issues are the cause of decreased drive, and older we get, less hormones.

    Not untreatable, nor universal.
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    Jan 12, 2011 2:58 AM GMT
    I think it's primarily because people feel like you're at your prime in your 20s and that it all goes downhill from then on...i personally don't think that's the case, seeing how many hot older men in there 30s and even 40s there are...

    sometimes, it's just an excuse for others to whore it up. These same people are prolly still gonna slut it up till their 70s.
  • Ironman4U

    Posts: 738

    Jan 12, 2011 3:02 AM GMT
    Sooo the 30s-50s want to have sex as much as the 20s? Or does the urgency decrease?

    Depends on the guy. You can find guys at any age who are always horny. With age, there does usually come a bit more self-control and better judgement but the urge, desire and ability is still there.
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    Jan 12, 2011 3:03 AM GMT
    Quite the opposite for me.

    My sexual drive boosted itself in my very late 20's and now that I'm 31 it feels to have increased more.
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    Jan 12, 2011 3:05 AM GMT
    Guy101 saidQuite the opposite for me.

    My sexual drive boosted itself in my very late 20's and now that I'm 31 it feels to have increased more.


    Possibly psychological?

    It's been known to work that way.
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    Jan 12, 2011 3:53 AM GMT
    Guy101 saidQuite the opposite for me.

    My sexual drive boosted itself in my very late 20's and now that I'm 31 it feels to have increased more.


    Yeah, but you like, live in Alaska.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2011 4:02 AM GMT
    I think societal expectations dick-tate this more than hormones. In your 20s you're finding yourself, learning who you want through trying out many partners. In your 30's and beyond, the expectation is that you are coupled.
  • UnluckyTitan

    Posts: 106

    Jan 12, 2011 5:01 AM GMT
    Not sure if you were refering just to gay guys or not, but I think this spans gay and straight. If you're slutty in your 20's people are willing to write it off as just being young. It's similar to partying in college. If you're drunk every tuesday in your early 20's it's because your young and irresonsible. Later in life if you're drunk every Tuesday you're an alcoholic. Really just double standards.
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    Jan 12, 2011 5:02 AM GMT
    just cuz ur 20 doesnt mean u have to jump on every dick u see, you can be as prude as you want to be. nobody is putting a gun to your head right? so it all comes down to ones character....thats just my humble opinion :d
  • UnluckyTitan

    Posts: 106

    Jan 12, 2011 5:04 AM GMT
    TheIStrat saidDo what makes you happy. I live in DC and enjoy being promiscuous. It;s like I'm a fat kid at a buffet in this city


    So does that make election time restocking time?icon_eek.gif
  • UVaRob9

    Posts: 282

    Jan 12, 2011 5:06 AM GMT
    shaag382 saidWhen you're in your 30's and 40's does your sex drive/sex stamina diminish that much? Is there a ticking clock on being a whore?


    No, that pressure and sex drive both outlast the 20s. Go to Town or Cobalt (we live in the same area, yay!) and you'll see it.
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    Jan 12, 2011 5:20 AM GMT
    What gets me is the haughtiness each side shows on this debate.
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    Jan 12, 2011 5:21 AM GMT
    makavelli saidWhat gets me is the haughtiness each side shows on this debate.


    So true!

    I only had sex a few times a year in my 20s. I felt way too vulnerable to set foot in a sex club. I was plenty horny but I felt guilty about sex for the sole reason of getting my rocks off. Now I'm at peace and I embrace my entire self. As a man I feel it is normal that I should have a hedonistic and a romantic side. Some guys search so desperately for romance they try to repress the hedonistic urges and fell guilty when it erupts. That was me in my 20s. Others can't handle the emotions of anything that is not superficial and so they focus only on getting their rocks off. Your ideal match brings out both your romantic and hedonistic side.

    I can't imagine how tough it is to be in 20 something in an age of all this impersonal technology. It is like manic, frenetic speed dating, and bed hopping. People have told me how guys at parties and bars just sit and play with their gadgets and never talk to the people sitting beside them. The man in the gadget has to be better than the live person sitting beside them.

    I wondered why the young men here were all so judgmental and sanctimonious about promiscuity. But I'm getting a better understanding of the real problem. In my generation if you wanted to get your rocks off you picked someone up at a bar or went to a sex club. With bars or sex clubs you set aside a few hours and that is it. When you go home alone you're done for the night. You might feel you wasted your time but tough luck. Now you just play with your gadgets. The problem with that is you can be doing that shit 24/7. With manhunt, GPS software, and cam sex why bother going out in the real world and actually getting to know someone? So what you young guys are craving is a deeper more meaningful connection than the guy in the gadget can't give you. That goes for both the whores and the prudes.

    Oh and about us old guys. Our hormones don't run our world as they may have at the peak of our sexual drive. Sure we still love sex but the well adjusted among us know that having a strong emotional connection is an aphrodisiac that no ED drug can replace.