Married Men! *sigh*

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 13, 2011 8:14 AM GMT
    In some gay websites (for example Squirt and Manhunt) they have a check box for "Married Men" under the "Intos" informations. So, today i was chatting with this guy who is 40 something years old on Manhunt, who happens to be very pushy by the way (not that it matters). He chatted with me for about 5 minutes and asked me to hook up with him, by the way my "Into Married Men" box is unchecked on Manhunt. He didn't tell me he was married at first, but it wasn't that hard for me to tell, from the way he was talking. He finally confessed that he's married to a "Woman" with 2 kids (15 & 17 years old).

    He told me stories, how he's not happy with his wife, blah blah blah icon_sad.gif So having sex with men is the only thing that is keeping him alive. Long story short, i told him i don't want to get involve in someone else's marriage and ruin a family. Its not the first time this has happen to me, i just think it's really sad and unfair for the wife and children. I don't understand why these people can't get a divorce and live their life.

    So, about the gay websites....... i see a lot of men looking for a Married Men for hookups, am i the only one that thinks that this is wrong. I know it's tempting not to hookup with them, cuz the guy that i was chatting with was very hot and he's a Professor in my University! There goes my "Easy A" thanks to my mature brain.

    Are you into Married men? If not, do you agree with me?

    I WON'T JUDGE YOU IF YOU LIKE MARRIED MEN! (Maybe i will, just a little) icon_biggrin.gif


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 13, 2011 8:16 AM GMT
    I think as being gay becomes more accepted by society, more married closet cases...oops I meant "men"...will come out to their wives.

    Then this won't even be an issue. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 13, 2011 8:18 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidI think as being gay becomes more accepted by society, more married closet cases...oops I meant "men"...will come out to their wives.

    Then this won't even be an issue. icon_wink.gif



    Ask the wife about thaticon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 13, 2011 8:22 AM GMT
    Hillie said
    paulflexes saidI think as being gay becomes more accepted by society, more married closet cases...oops I meant "men"...will come out to their wives.

    Then this won't even be an issue. icon_wink.gif



    Ask the wife about thaticon_eek.gif
    Which one? When my best friend admitted to his wife that he'd done a few gay4pay videos, she admitted to him that she's bi. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 13, 2011 8:57 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Hillie said
    paulflexes saidI think as being gay becomes more accepted by society, more married closet cases...oops I meant "men"...will come out to their wives.

    Then this won't even be an issue. icon_wink.gif



    Ask the wife about thaticon_eek.gif
    Which one? When my best friend admitted to his wife that he'd done a few gay4pay videos, she admitted to him that she's bi. icon_lol.gif


    I guess your friend got lucky, he's straight though right?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 13, 2011 12:50 PM GMT
    Hillie said
    paulflexes saidI think as being gay becomes more accepted by society, more married closet cases...oops I meant "men"...will come out to their wives.

    Then this won't even be an issue. icon_wink.gif



    Ask the wife about thaticon_eek.gif


    I 100% agree with that. You can understand the wife maybe wanting revenge, and striking out, because if the guy had of been truthful to them they well may of never said I do to them, but told him to piss off.

    You can understand the women being pissed, because they felt used, and never knew the man in the first place.

    have i yes, would I now, maybe not. But I also would not be the one committing adultery either.

    The last time I did so the guy still expected me to sit around the family dinner table and eat and say nothing. We where mates so I thought, but he always had a hidden agenda, and when he started to make threats so I would never say anything, I called the wife and let her know.
  • laxdude25

    Posts: 604

    Jan 13, 2011 1:11 PM GMT
    Another thread about married guys...As I have said before, my situation as a happily married guy who happens to be bi is much easier because I told my fiance before I proposed. She is totally cool with my sexuality. What's tragic is when a guy gets married before he realizes he is into guys, or because he thinks getting married will make it all "ok." I think honesty in a relationship and mutual respect is critical.

    So, should guys stay away from married guys? There are so many hot guys without complicated situations at home, why bother? That said, everyone's path is different, I know mine is. So good luck, and my heart goes out to those married guys who are struggling in a marriage that feels like a prison sentence.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 13, 2011 1:15 PM GMT
    you're right in ur feelings. its not right to enable someone to cheat on their spouse weather they are gay or straight. And when someone has kids and a family and are doing this it shows what kind of person they are. I dont want to have sex with that kind of person.

    in Laxdude's case, thats one thing. hes been compleatly honest. Im not saying that a married guy cant be with a guy. They could be in an open relatioship or swingers or what ever (thats their business) but being gay and closeted isnt an excusse for cheating. I have no simpathy for a cloested guy who is cheating on his wife. That would be like a straight married guy fucking other women and saying "well my wife isnt atractive anymore and i am sexually a prisoner"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 13, 2011 1:18 PM GMT
    Why did these men get married in the first place? I just don't understand how they can keep such a secret from their wives for so many years.
    Sorry! I just don't get it.

  • citrus

    Posts: 5

    Jan 13, 2011 1:21 PM GMT
    I totally agree with you. There is a common idea between gays that married or straight people are more masculine than gays. Maybe that's why they are mostly into such guys. I really think that it is a kind of complex. Sexuality is something very transparent. There are some guys here who says they are straight, but they are hanging out here and showing their nude pics to other guys. What the hell is that?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 13, 2011 3:12 PM GMT
    I've hooked up with many married men. It's always weird to get fucked by a dude and glance over to the dresser/nightstand and see wedding pictures or family photos with wife/kids. If a married dude wants to hook up, its fine with me. Who am I to judge? The only time I've said no to a hook up with a married dude was when the dude told me his 15 year old son was upstairs, and we would have to be very quiet. Just a little too weird even for me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 13, 2011 3:20 PM GMT
    I'm attracted to married men - don't know why, just am. Perhaps it's because I know it can only go so far. Just a thought.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 13, 2011 4:32 PM GMT
    catfish5 saidI've hooked up with many married men. It's always weird to get fucked by a dude and glance over to the dresser/nightstand and see wedding pictures or family photos with wife/kids. If a married dude wants to hook up, its fine with me. Who am I to judge? The only time I've said no to a hook up with a married dude was when the dude told me his 15 year old son was upstairs, and we would have to be very quiet. Just a little too weird even for me.


    Seems a bit strange for a guy who posted:

    Seems selfish and narcissistic to think that a marriage is all about "me" and my needs. And the spouse/kids are just along for the ride without any regard to their needs and best interests. But Que Sera Sera

    I guess feeding that narcissistic attitude by hooking up with 'many married men' is OK as long as you're getting something out of it without regard to the needs and best interests of the spouse/kids.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 13, 2011 5:39 PM GMT
    eb925guy said
    catfish5 saidI've hooked up with many married men. It's always weird to get fucked by a dude and glance over to the dresser/nightstand and see wedding pictures or family photos with wife/kids. If a married dude wants to hook up, its fine with me. Who am I to judge? The only time I've said no to a hook up with a married dude was when the dude told me his 15 year old son was upstairs, and we would have to be very quiet. Just a little too weird even for me.


    Seems a bit strange for a guy who posted:

    Seems selfish and narcissistic to think that a marriage is all about "me" and my needs. And the spouse/kids are just along for the ride without any regard to their needs and best interests. But Que Sera Sera

    I guess feeding that narcissistic attitude by hooking up with 'many married men' is OK as long as you're getting something out of it without regard to the needs and best interests of the spouse/kids.


    I'm not married dude. It's none of my business if some narcissistic, confused, wack job wants to cheat on his wife and demean his kids. I'm not related to them. I'm just there for the dick man. Sounds like you've been on the other end as the "cheating spouse" and that's why my post peaked your interest.
  • twentyfourhou...

    Posts: 243

    Jan 13, 2011 6:09 PM GMT
    Mrfantastic wrote, "I don't understand why these people can't get a divorce and live their life". I would like to take a stab at this, knowing very well that some will disagree or be offended. For starters, lets just say - I've experienced both sides of this issue. Married men ca't get a divorce and live their life because of any one or combination of the following ; 1) they do not view themself as gay, 2) they are bisexual, 3) they do not want to "destroy" the marriage, 4) they do not want to loose their financial standing, 5) they do not want to endure the public critique, 6) they cannot deal with the fact that they might be gay, 7) it is much more "comfortable" hiding behind the fascade of heterosexual marriage, icon_cool.gif coming out of the closet - or the lack of a better description - is hard work, 9) living an openly gay lifestyle is too hard, 10) they do not want to loose the possibility of parenting their children, 11) they want to wait until the kids are adults before they divorce, 12) they suffer from depression/anxiety and cannot deal with the recourse of coming out/divorcing, 13) just not willing to take that step. I am sure there are other reasons.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 13, 2011 6:27 PM GMT
    Wow, this is becoming topic of the week isn't it?

    I'm really starting to believe that we are looking at 3 totally different worlds here - Men are from Mars, Woman are from Venus and Gays are from Jupiter! (Maybe there is a fourth for Lesbians as I know they don't live on our planet ;) )

    I've mentioned in another thread that men who are in heterosexual relationships and come out as gay later have a different vibe about them and that vibe doesn't work with me. I can be interested in a guy I meet, say in the office but the first (or second) thing that comes to mind is the question of his sexuality and to try and understand that I will subtly ask them about their relationship status. If he is straight, well good on him and move along everyone. But I'm not going to act upon it and ask them their sexuality.

    Although it maybe said, you don't care for their "situation" (e.g. your not related to them so their family issues are none of your concern. Your only after cock) Do you ever feel like you might be used for them as a gay outlet?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 13, 2011 6:32 PM GMT
    OK, I admit it; I'm into married guys...icon_idea.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 13, 2011 7:15 PM GMT
    Very interesting topic...I try to stay away.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 13, 2011 7:54 PM GMT
    catfish5 saidI've hooked up with many married men. It's always weird to get fucked by a dude and glance over to the dresser/nightstand and see wedding pictures or family photos with wife/kids.


    You still sleep at night after this? You never think about the kids. There's a lot of men out there who are single and horny, why not go after them. You can't just say "i'm not related to them, so i can fuck whoever i want"? Sorry, but i will never understand this.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 13, 2011 8:07 PM GMT
    Mrfantastic said
    catfish5 saidI've hooked up with many married men. It's always weird to get fucked by a dude and glance over to the dresser/nightstand and see wedding pictures or family photos with wife/kids.


    You still sleep at night after this? You never think about the kids. There's a lot of men out there who are single and horny, why not go after them. You can't just say "i'm not related to them, so i can fuck whoever i want"? Sorry, but i will never understand this.


    You don't have to understand. It's prolly not your thing anyway. Just FYI- I don't always know they are married before we hook up. Sometimes you meet online (or at the gym), get over to their place, fuck, and notice pictures/items that indicate they are married. Most will admit it if you ask. This happens alot when you live in a RED, conservative, bible thumping state in the suburbs.

    Anyway, I don't get in to their personal lives. And I sleep just fine at night (I don't feel that their wives/kids are any of my concern). I let them lives their lives the way they want to and I do the same.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 13, 2011 8:10 PM GMT
    sydney_cider saidWow, this is becoming topic of the week isn't it?

    I'm really starting to believe that we are looking at 3 totally different worlds here - Men are from Mars, Woman are from Venus and Gays are from Jupiter! (Maybe there is a fourth for Lesbians as I know they don't live on our planet ;) )

    I've mentioned in another thread that men who are in heterosexual relationships and come out as gay later have a different vibe about them and that vibe doesn't work with me. I can be interested in a guy I meet, say in the office but the first (or second) thing that comes to mind is the question of his sexuality and to try and understand that I will subtly ask them about their relationship status. If he is straight, well good on him and move along everyone. But I'm not going to act upon it and ask them their sexuality.

    Although it maybe said, you don't care for their "situation" (e.g. your not related to them so their family issues are none of your concern. Your only after cock) Do you ever feel like you might be used for them as a gay outlet?


    Thats why one pushes being a pure homosexual as to separate myself from the guys who spent most of their lives with women, as a family man and then when their career is over, and they have bleed it for all it is worthy, they want to be knowen as being gay and not straight anymore. Yet we are not not the same, and just because they may now live the gay lifestyle does not make them the same as I a pure homosexual who has lived his whole life as gay.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 13, 2011 8:13 PM GMT
    Draper said
    Mrfantastic said
    catfish5 saidI've hooked up with many married men. It's always weird to get fucked by a dude and glance over to the dresser/nightstand and see wedding pictures or family photos with wife/kids.


    You still sleep at night after this? You never think about the kids. There's a lot of men out there who are single and horny, why not go after them. You can't just say "i'm not related to them, so i can fuck whoever i want"? Sorry, but i will never understand this.


    I'm not quite sure if his posts are real or if he makes them up for shock value. If they are real it would be interesting to find out what his upbringing was like.

    In one post he wrote something that Fred Phelps might say about gay men:

    "my stats:

    to be honest, i really love sex (i bottom only) and don't really care who fucks me.

    i average about 1-2 different guys per week.

    i have had as many as 12 in one week.

    i have had as many as 7 different guys fuck me in one night (bottomed for a sex party)

    average is about 90-100 men per year.

    i rarely have sex with the same guy more than once or twice.

    i have had sex with someone as young as 18 and as old as 75.

    the max number of dicks i've had in my ass at one time is 2.

    i've lost count how many guys i've had in my lifetime (age 32) but it is probably close to 1500."


    Yes. The posts are real. Not just for shock value. BTW I grew up in a liberal household where nudity and sex weren't taboo. Interesting that you dig up posts of mine from almost 6 years ago. Damn. Get a life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 13, 2011 8:15 PM GMT
    Marrano saidWhy did these men get married in the first place? I just don't understand how they can keep such a secret from their wives for so many years.
    Sorry! I just don't get it.



    Well, it could be the case that they don't realize their true sexuality until much later in their lives, perhaps well after they've been married. Not everyone identifies with being gay or bi during that awkward phase in high school or college.

    Or perhaps, I believe it's possible that some people's sexuality is more fluid and apt to change. While I'm inclined to believe that male sexuality in general is rather narrow, as opposed to female sexuality which is much more ambivalent, I think some people do involuntarily shift in orientation as they age. Some straight men may come to have gay feelings, and likewise, some gay men may start to develop a lust for women. Why this happens and how exactly it works, I can't say. I think when medical experts agree that sexuality can't be change, they mean it in the context that it can't be voluntarily changed or forced like they attempt to do in the ex-gay movement. It's just something that happens on its own, if it even happens.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 13, 2011 8:21 PM GMT
    That is absolutely wrong and shame on anyone that does it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 13, 2011 8:25 PM GMT
    I can get the whole one night stand with a married man thing. Definitely not saying I agree with it, but I can see where both parties are coming from I guess...NSA, you both get your quick fix and then head on to the next one. One can't assume that the wife is always the victim because oftentimes she's not...the kids usually wind up being the ones who lose.

    What I don't get is people who seek married men with the intention of getting into a relationship with them. It's like a game of let's find the most emotionally unavailable guy we can scrape up, and then get all butt hurt when they don't go skipping off into the sunset.