Just came out to my brothers and close friends...mixed emotions!

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    Jan 18, 2011 3:38 AM GMT
    ok, so I just came out to my brothers and close friends yesterday and today. I'm definitely drained from having to talk about it about 20 times, but everyone was very supportive overall! There were just a lot of questions afterwards...and probably many more to come.

    So now I have mixed emotions...I feel great about coming clean and now I can finally be 100% myself...but I can't help but feel a little alone too...all of my other friends are straight/married so I almost don't know the next step! I guess it's time to put myself out there and just enjoy the ride!

    Any words of wisdom from those who have experienced the same thing?
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    Jan 18, 2011 3:39 AM GMT
    Super duper congrats! icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 18, 2011 3:41 AM GMT
    the next step is go on being who you are and were, except now you're out and free....liberating isn't it?.....no dress rehearsal or script...just enjoy life as an out gay man......congrats brother...................Keithicon_wink.gif
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    Jan 18, 2011 3:42 AM GMT



    Good for you.. and congratulations...



    My Advice... Don't give a fuck...
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 18, 2011 3:49 AM GMT
    Congrats..... you've come a long way in a short period of time.

    I hope it only gets better!
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    Jan 18, 2011 3:49 AM GMT
    DragonDevil saidMy Advice... Don't give a fuck...
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    Jan 18, 2011 4:17 AM GMT


    paulflex, that was funny... but you know....
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    Jan 18, 2011 11:32 AM GMT
    haha...thanks guys!
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    Jan 18, 2011 11:35 AM GMT
    so how exactly did they react, what did they say? any different to how you thought they might? or as expected?
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    Jan 18, 2011 12:02 PM GMT
    go_vols:

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

    Often, RJ members congratulate the 20 somethings and teenagers and tell them they have a whole life ahead of them when they first come out. For some of the guys in the 30s or older, we don't hear too much from you, so congrats overall.

    What to do next? I think you know the answer, but heres a great piece of advice from Mr. Weston at http://www.realjock.com/article/1855/, take everything piece by piece. You mention feeling drained. This means you finally too the largest rock out there and through it over board. Great! You said you're unsure what to feel or do next. How about taking a walk outside and breathing for the first time ever. It feels different trust me. Walk down the street and see things from YOUR perspective for the first time. It's a different atmosphere when you come out.

    You mentioned feeling lonely. Don't! Think about what you just said, you came out. This does not mean crawling back into the closet again. You're too beautiful to let guys and gals not see you. This is a beautiful time to take a few more steps and begin walking your path. I don't go for the don't care attitude around friends and family because they are friends and family. I take a different approach. Communicate and open up to them as you always have. Is it different sometimes, but often a real break through whenever someone asks. Often times, I feel like I create a whole mountain of disillusions before my friends then they do.

    Please enjoy and let others know about your success. Try and feel comfortable in your new skin. Its harder to walk the walk when you're afraid, so take it a step each day and remember RJers (queens, bitches, and friends) are here for you.

    Mike
  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Jan 18, 2011 12:13 PM GMT
    Dude, I'm used to being the 3rd/5th/7th wheel in friend and family situations. They're all coupled off, married, new parents, etc. But that was the case before I came out and that's the case now.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jan 18, 2011 12:15 PM GMT
    I guess it's time to put myself out there and just enjoy the ride!

    There ya go icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 18, 2011 12:22 PM GMT
    Congrats!! I know exctly how you feel, its like: Im gay, Im out ... Now what? Well try meeting gay people, go to popular areas, places, clubs. And believe me you must have a gay friend already even if you dont know it
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Jan 18, 2011 12:43 PM GMT
    go_vols saidok, so I just came out to my brothers and close friends yesterday and today. I'm definitely drained from having to talk about it about 20 times, but everyone was very supportive overall! There were just a lot of questions afterwards...and probably many more to come.

    So now I have mixed emotions...I feel great about coming clean and now I can finally be 100% myself...but I can't help but feel a little alone too...all of my other friends are straight/married so I almost don't know the next step! I guess it's time to put myself out there and just enjoy the ride!

    Any words of wisdom from those who have experienced the same thing?



    For me, I felt alone and that is what prompted me to come to terms with being gay.

    It was New Year's 1998. All my friends I was with when midnight struck were married, and there they were dancing and sharing that kiss with their husband/wife. I was at the table. After walking home, feeling depressed, I came to terms with myself for being gay and I cried myself to sleep. I woke up the next morning feeling like a new man.
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    Jan 18, 2011 1:04 PM GMT
    Kudos to you! Congratulations and you have my thoughts and prayers for happiness.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Jan 18, 2011 1:50 PM GMT
    gv:

    only your fellow RJers know what courage and inner fortitude it took for you to come out to your family.

    it sounds like it went well for you....and them.

    expect some periods of awkardness and silence from your family as they adjust. remember, it's just as big (if not bigger) of an adjustment for them as it was for YOU!

    you appear to have a "level head on your shoulders". just follow your gut insticts and you will be fine.

    on a more personal note: i'm proud of you! you've come so far in so little time.

    YOU-da-mannnnnnn!!


    icon_cool.gif
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    Jan 18, 2011 1:52 PM GMT
    I must also throw in my "Congrats!"

    You shouldn't feel more alone now than when your family and friends thought you were straight.

    Now you can actually be yourself and enjoy life.

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    Jan 18, 2011 2:00 PM GMT
    LOL.. I'm gay, I'm out.. Now what.

    Reminded me (dont know why) of the movie National Lampoon's vacation where they went to Wallyworld.

    They drive all the way across the country, to get there to have it be closed.

    Look at it optimistically. You dont have to say 'he's just a friend' any more. You can put the Man word in front. ManFriend! BoyFriend. etc.

    Have a great time exploring your new playground.

    2011 is starting out as a good thing for a lot of people!
  • DKnight

    Posts: 152

    Jan 18, 2011 3:13 PM GMT
    Well, first, I wanna say, Yo! Congrats. And then, I wanna say, Proof sexuality wont be the gap between your friendship! icon_razz.gif Ugh, I guess you know what I mean...! Oh, btw, dont think you are alone. There are still many people out there. You can make friend with them anytime! If some of your friends want to go just becuse you came out, well then, they are free to go. That just shows your friendship isn't concrete enough to bare that fact you're a gay. Anyway, just remember one thing, smile and be happy! icon_biggrin.gif
  • thait3n

    Posts: 7

    Jan 18, 2011 3:18 PM GMT
    Congrats on taking the big step!
  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    Jan 18, 2011 3:49 PM GMT
    Aw!! Congrats!!

    You know it's been A LONG TIME since I came out initially in 1997. I kinda forgot about those feelings I had when I first came out. (Well, I got outted FIRST and then I came out to the rest.)

    Loads of hugs and love towards you. It's a huge and brave step. Keep it up!