I feel like...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 27, 2008 7:05 PM GMT
    I've decided I am going to try a gay matchmaking service, to hopefully meet more quality men who are relationship focused. I was advised I should make an inventory of things I do single that I might have to compromise dating/in a relationship. Here's some of the things I've come up with:

    Watching TV or movies or listening to music late at night
    Not having to have my place sparkling clean all the time
    Eating what I want, when I want
    Going places (such as restaurants) with him that i may not want to (or ice versa)


    What would you single guys be willing to compromise in a relationship?
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Mar 27, 2008 7:20 PM GMT
    It would probably be easier, quicker, and more effective to list the things you won't compromise on.

    Relationships, whether they're platonic, romantic, or professional, are all about compromise. It's not all about you, or him. A relationship is about coming together with common interests, differences that keep it interesting, and compromise so that both parties can be as happy and fulfilled as possible.

    There will always be those times where one has to give in for the other, but in my opinion, those instances should be rare.
  • UncleverName

    Posts: 741

    Mar 27, 2008 11:06 PM GMT
    I would:

    * watch much more TV than I prefer, because we can do it together
    * make an effort to be on time for family get togethers (both his and mine)
    * not be so judgemental of others
    * give up going to the gym some nights, so that we can spend time together
    * not plan to do so much, so that we have time together
    * sleep in sometimes, so that we wake up together
    * make an effort to plan things better, especially with my always late family, so that he knows what to expect

    Of course, this is an easy one for me; I've already had to do all of the above icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2008 12:32 AM GMT
    Not much, why do you think I'm single? Well, the second reason?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2008 12:45 AM GMT
    Why is a hottie like you single anyway? WTF
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2008 12:00 PM GMT
    I'm curious about the gay matchmaking service. Are you referring to some sort of gay speed dating or professional service vs. match.com and it's ilk?

    And can we really dictate the compromises we would or would not make in a future relationship? The alchemies of romance seem far too uncertain to enable such mappable foresight.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2008 7:07 PM GMT
    RunintheCity saidI'm curious about the gay matchmaking service. Are you referring to some sort of gay speed dating or professional service vs. match.com and it's ilk?

    And can we really dictate the compromises we would or would not make in a future relationship? The alchemies of romance seem far too uncertain to enable such mappable foresight.


    It's a professional gay matchmaking service, available in SF and LA and SD, I think.

    And it's not about dictating compromises...it's about listing the activites you do as single and evaluating if you would/could do the same in a relationship.

    An example: in my last relationship, he liked to go to bed at 10; I liked to watch the 10 o'clock news. We compromised: he wore earplugs, and I lowered the volume and got some wireless headphones. Some people are better at compromise than others. This list is just to put down on paper what I enjoy doing being single and making sure these are things i could compromise on for the greater good of being with someone special. Chris (my ex) and I made a lot of compromises in the 5 years we were together, so I don't have any doubt I could do the same; but after being single for 2 years it never hurts to re-assess one's self.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 29, 2008 12:54 AM GMT
    which matchmaking service will you use?

    I suggest http://www.lovetastic.com

    or http://www.glee.com

    they seem to be more relationship oriented.

    best of luck let us know how it goes!

    http://www.queersunited.blogspot.com
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    Mar 30, 2008 4:56 AM GMT
    I am going to use mypartner.com, which offers personal (face-to-face) matchamaking services in San Francisco, LA, and San Diego (and I think DC). They are a block away from my condo. I met them at an event a few weeks ago, and they seem to bea well-organized outfit. So here's hoping...