How to stop negative thinking?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 18, 2011 6:12 AM GMT
    I've been unemployed now for and embarrassing amount of time.icon_redface.gif I have a college degree, which really seams to mean nothing these days. I'm worried that even if an opportunity comes along the large gap in my employment history will send red flags up. Then I'm sure one of the other thousand applicants will just get the job. I really feel downtrodden and hopeless. icon_sad.gif
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    Jan 18, 2011 6:15 AM GMT
    I have large gaps in my employment history and I usually just say I was freelancing. It's true, but it especially works in LA where everyone's essentially "freelancing" their creative career, which usually fails. Also, any prospective employer should understand that you had a gap around this time. [edit, nope, not all, i was misinformed my bad]

    Do you need websites to search for employment?
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    Jan 18, 2011 6:18 AM GMT
    JB82 saidI have large gaps in my employment history and I usually just say I was freelancing. It's true, but it especially works in LA where everyone's essentially "freelancing" their creative career, which usually fails. Also, any prospective employer should understand that you had a gap around this time. I'm sure any gap between 2008-2011 can be easily attributed to the "recession."

    Do you need websites to search for employment?


    I use Careerbuilder, Monster and Myjobhunter.
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    Jan 18, 2011 6:33 AM GMT
    There have been a few articles recently that state most employers will NOT hire people that are unemployed. The reason being that they assume you're not a quality candidate/employee. Otherwise, you'd be working right now. Yeah, that's real shitty and hard to believe. But it's true. I was out of work for a long time. Sent out resumes where my skills/experience matched the job perfectly. Still no phone calls or even offers for interviews. Then I settled on a shitty low-paying entry level job. While I was working there, I still sent out resumes and applied to every job I was qualified for. Then a couple months later, I got a call for interview. Then got a job offer the following week. Better pay, better benefits, and great working environment.

    So yeah, I've been telling my unemployed friends to lie on their resume and just indicate they've been doing consulting work. Or earning certifications at local colleges. Or whatever. Just make yourself look busy.

    Don't give up hope. Most companies start hiring at the beginning of the year. Since it's the start of the new fiscal year, they have new budgets and can afford to hire a few people.
  • kolkii

    Posts: 147

    Jan 18, 2011 6:38 AM GMT
    xrichx saidThere have been a few articles recently that state most employers will NOT hire people that are unemployed.


    Yep.. also post your resume on Craigslist and hit up some companies on there..

    I know CList can be low brow..but companies are in a crunch too, and dont want to pay HR companies 25% finder's fee or whatever it is so go to the candidates direct via CL..

    Im not talking just small companies.. a competitor of my current firm hit me up on CL, and they have $23B AUM (assets under management)..

    just keep plugging away and things will turn.
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    Jan 18, 2011 8:25 AM GMT
    I know most wont condone it, but here's what you do; lie your pretty little blond ass off.

    Create a fake company that is 'about to go out of business' and use a number created through google voice or a similar service, that will ring you when/if they verify employment.

    I suggested this to a friend who was out of work for 2 years, thanks to being honest. When she got over herself and this honesty bullshit and changed her resume and added a fake company, voila, she had a job within 3 weeks. Sorry, sometimes people force you to bend the rules and lie.

    Think about it....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 18, 2011 10:11 AM GMT
    xrichx saidThere have been a few articles recently that state most employers will NOT hire people that are unemployed


    oy, guess i was misinformed then icon_sad.gif
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    Jan 18, 2011 10:16 AM GMT
    TawlBlond saidI know most wont condone it, but here's what you do; lie your pretty little blond ass off.

    Create a fake company that is 'about to go out of business' and use a number created through google voice or a similar service, that will ring you when/if they verify employment.

    I suggested this to a friend who was out of work for 2 years, thanks to being honest. When she got over herself and this honesty bullshit and changed her resume and added a fake company, voila, she had a job within 3 weeks. Sorry, sometimes people force you to bend the rules and lie.

    Think about it....


    Post full of fucking awesome.


    I like it, I like it a lot.

    Do whatever you need to do to achieve the objective at hand.


    icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 18, 2011 1:00 PM GMT
    Ever thought about moving to a foreign country for work?
    http://www.expatify.com/advice/10-most-suitable-countries-for-american-expatriates.html
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    Jan 18, 2011 1:32 PM GMT
    Try finding a temp job and while you do that look for your career job.

    I've read a few articles saying that some companies like to hire people who are already working because of loyalty or what not...Which really sucks for the unemployed however...


    Anyhow a lot of other posters above me have given advice.Don't feel down about it, you'll find a job soon enough!! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 18, 2011 1:42 PM GMT
    See if there are any day labor places around you. It's hard, manual, low-paying work; but it's paying work that fills the job gaps and goes hand-in-hand with freelancing (because most employers know that freelance work requires spending money to make money). Many day labor places even provide transportation if that's an issue.

    <-- Been there; done that.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 18, 2011 1:42 PM GMT
    I think several of the above guys have some great ideas.

    When I finished law school, I didn't really know what I wanted to do.
    I thought about being a contracts negotiator, but it wasn't a good time to pursue that.. I did for about a year. I continued teaching horsemanship and
    a parent convinced me I should pursue the idea of being a financial advisor.. the combination of my legal and business education and licensing with investments. The series 7 was as hard as the bar exam, but it got me where I wanted to go. Have you thought about a job that may require some extra education (I can hear the groan now...lol). My point is, there may be some jobs available that may require you to do some "extra". Don't
    close your mind to it... and good luck!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 18, 2011 1:59 PM GMT
    You're in your early 30s, so I assume you have some sort of job past, despite the time it's been since you've been employed.

    Did you save your contacts from previous employers? If so, contact them.
    Do you have friends in the line of work you wish to be in? If so, contact them.
    Friends get friends jobs.

    Knowing what you really want is key. If you don't, employers will know immediately. They're trying to find the right fit for their open positions and you are trying to see how close you come to fitting into that slot.

    You're handsome and have a winning smile. That helps.

    I can't think of anything better to stave off negative thinking than truly knowing what it is you want and then focusing your search on only the companies and jobs where you'll be most successful.

    Many of us can relate. Except my stupid brother who's a talent pianist, has never had any job hunting issues, and knew since high school he would be in the music field. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 18, 2011 2:13 PM GMT
    Just keep trying until you get a job, I know it sounds like bad advice, but it is the only thing you can do
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    Jan 18, 2011 2:14 PM GMT
    I've been hiring quite a bit lately and I have to say its hard finding people qualified. I'm in technology and there are plenty of people in this industry that are out of work. We get resumes constantly and I've found one thing to be true: referrals are invaluable. All of our best employees have come as a referral from another employee. My advise is network, network, network. During an interview, I care more about someone's attitude than their resume (as long as everything checks out). Education is last on my list of criteria, if even considered.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jan 18, 2011 3:57 PM GMT
    this might be another unpopular suggestion: get a job at mcdonalds.

    what i mean by that is you have to "slum" it, and i put that in quotations because so many people think working at place like that is beneath them when in fact it's not. i went from the being the valedictorian of my undergrad class to working at jimmy johns and being a gogo. i did it because i could either be depressed that no one wanted to continue to pay me 50k a year for work and not be able to pay my rent, or i could take a job that people thought was beneath me and find a way to live off it. turned out to be one of the best years in my life. great people and great memories. now i teach at a university and the skills i learned while working in the food industry helped me land a job as an artisan baker in town.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 18, 2011 4:41 PM GMT
    Do some volunteer work while you are unemployed even if just a 1/2 day or two per week which can also be used as a reference. Even though it isn't true employment it shows you are productive
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    Jan 18, 2011 4:48 PM GMT
    Aznewbie saidI've been unemployed now for and embarrassing amount of time.icon_redface.gif I have a college degree, which really seams to mean nothing these days. I'm worried that even if an opportunity comes along the large gap in my employment history will send red flags up. Then I'm sure one of the other thousand applicants will just get the job. I really feel downtrodden and hopeless. icon_sad.gif


    Go workout. Do networking. Bang away on various resources. indeed.com works good for e-filing resumes. Understand, you need to be looking for a job as many hours a day as you can. There are no less than a couple of dozen jobs boards. If you're limiting your search to two job boards, you're not doing it right. Go to a trade organization. Go to a temp agency. There's almost always work via a temp agency.

    Take a part-time job. Consider allied industries.

    Job hunting is selling yourself. You have to keep working until you close. If you contact enough people, and you present yourself appropriately, you CANNOT fail.
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    Jan 18, 2011 4:59 PM GMT
    Most people in this day and age get their opportunities through networking. Work your network. Get a LinkedIn profile and make it shine, and participate actively in forums related to your profession. Don't just throw up a good resume, interact with people that allow you to show your expertise.

    And anyone who would lie and create a fake company to get a job is a moral disaster who should be avoided at all costs, for a number of reasons.
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    Jan 18, 2011 5:03 PM GMT
    some people are searching for happiness outside of themselves and don't find it. in this case it must be understood that happiness is within you; you were born with it, it just has to be evoked. it must also be understood that happiness is an emotion, and your specific emotions don't exist outside of your body, they are merely witnessed by others. alas, happiness isn't the only emotion within; sadness also exists within. to make a change and bring about happiness one must work to bring it about, for stagnation invites destructive behaviors and with destructive behaviors comes sadness and other destructive feelings. when you evoke happiness it is seen by others within you, and once it shows, beautiful things come to you and allow you to feel happier; you must create a storage space of memories to rival the influence of the saddening presence: this is true power that cannot be abused. learn this power and cultivate it because there will always be moments when your mind reflects upon sad things, but this is not something to fear or indulge in because it is your intuition. parts of your mind work of their own accord and this cannot be helped. thoughts come and go, but you must fight to control your emotional reaction to this brief appearance if you wish to be happy. emotion/happiness is within. the truth is without. the truth may create a destructive reaction within you; not everyone will handle the truth well. but truth IS, and cannot be fought; you cannot win against truth. instead, find a place of comfort within truth, and if you can't then you must create a path. in dark places you must never forget that there is a light to guide you. in the 21st century one has access to thousands of years of human experience all boiled down to be shared in mere minutes. you are not alone; if god is your light, don't abandon him/her. if a memory is your light, don't let it go. work to evoke your light and it will become the keystone of the grand archway that leads to blissful enlightenment
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    Jan 18, 2011 5:08 PM GMT
    1) Make a list of everyone you know who might be able to help you -- family, friends, acquaintances, etc. This is the base of your network. Start there. Include everyone you can think of. You may be surprised at how large this list is. Then call them and ask them for suggestions -- ask them if they know anyone who can help you

    2) Join Linkedin -- this is a business network site, sort of like Facebook, but business oriented. Here, you can contact movers and shakers directly, along with marketing yourself. It's free. Join them immediately

    3) See if there's anyone on your Facebook list of friends who can help. If you don't have an FB profile, get one

    4) Volunteer someplace -- maybe it's a non-profit, maybe it might even be someplace you would like to work. But volunteer to work free 1-2 days a week. They might eventually hire you. If not, they might be able to connect you with someone who can hire you

    5) Try to find a part time job, like day labor, that pays

    6) Keep working out and eating right, so you stay physically healthy

    7) Discuss your problems with friends, consider meditation, etc, so you stay emotionally healthy

    As others have pointed out, you have a very nice appearance and smile. . . keep looking and don't worry, someone is going to pick up on you and hire you!!!!! Just don't give up
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Jan 18, 2011 5:41 PM GMT
    Aznewbie saidI've been unemployed now for and embarrassing amount of time.icon_redface.gif I have a college degree, which really seams to mean nothing these days. I'm worried that even if an opportunity comes along the large gap in my employment history will send red flags up. Then I'm sure one of the other thousand applicants will just get the job. I really feel downtrodden and hopeless. icon_sad.gif


    Can I ask what your degree is in or what kind of job you're looking for?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 18, 2011 5:57 PM GMT
    _Sage_ said
    TawlBlond saidI know most wont condone it, but here's what you do; lie your pretty little blond ass off.

    Create a fake company that is 'about to go out of business' and use a number created through google voice or a similar service, that will ring you when/if they verify employment.

    I suggested this to a friend who was out of work for 2 years, thanks to being honest. When she got over herself and this honesty bullshit and changed her resume and added a fake company, voila, she had a job within 3 weeks. Sorry, sometimes people force you to bend the rules and lie.

    Think about it....


    Post full of fucking awesome.


    I like it, I like it a lot.

    Do whatever you need to do to achieve the objective at hand.


    icon_cool.gif



    Don't forget this: only lie if you're willing to face the consequences of that lie backfiring.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 18, 2011 6:23 PM GMT
    TawlBlond saidI know most wont condone it, but here's what you do; lie your pretty little blond ass off.

    Create a fake company that is 'about to go out of business' and use a number created through google voice or a similar service, that will ring you when/if they verify employment.

    I suggested this to a friend who was out of work for 2 years, thanks to being honest. When she got over herself and this honesty bullshit and changed her resume and added a fake company, voila, she had a job within 3 weeks. Sorry, sometimes people force you to bend the rules and lie.

    Think about it....


    I did something similar to this in the past. I kept applying for jobs in another city and no one would even give me an interview. So I found someone to let me use their address and phone (this was pre-cell phone days) and applied for jobs. Had a new job and moved within a month!

    I don't know if these days I'd go so far as to create a fake company...I know a sales person who did that, got caught in the lie, and was fired from the new job. Her husband was even helping her and they still got caught.

    But the suggestion that you've been freelancing is good. There's also the idea of obtaining a part time job in the meanwhile to help plug the gap.
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Jan 18, 2011 6:29 PM GMT
    80% of job openings are by word of mouth. You need to network. Volunteering small amounts to many different things expands on that network and increases results.