Friends Say Minnesota Suicide Victim Was Bullied

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    Jan 18, 2011 3:19 PM GMT
    "Friends of a central Minnesota teen who killed himself over the weekend say he was a victim of bullying.

    18 year old Lance Lundsten was a senior at Jefferson High School in Alexandria. The Douglas County Sheriff's Office responded to an emergency call at his home Saturday night.

    Lundsten was transported to the hospital where he later died. The Sheriff's Office confirmed the death was a suicide.

    According to his Facebook page, Lundsten was openly gay. On a memorial page in his honor, friends say Lundsten had been bullied at school for his sexual orientation. Some students who knew him believed the bullying may have led to his death."

    Lance-Lundsten.jpg
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    Jan 18, 2011 4:07 PM GMT
    Why are more kids killing themselves lately? Is the media enforcing bullying and suicide as a result is it being accepted as a norm?

    I'll never understand suicide, nor would I ever want to. But all suicide does is empower these pathetic people to continue their bullying. School isn't going to do anything, and neither is the law.
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    Jan 18, 2011 4:35 PM GMT
    I would think there would have been more suicides years ago when gays were more closeted and there weren't many well known gay people in movies, music and television. And maybe there were but we just didn't hear about it.

    I don't see the media encouraging bullying, in fact, there's more awareness of it and overall acceptance of gays in life in general, but still, I don't know what's going on that would drive them to such desperation. It's tragic. icon_cry.gif
  • brooks2785

    Posts: 6

    Jan 18, 2011 4:49 PM GMT
    I like many mourn the loss of this young man and find myself asking could we have done more as a community?
  • TrentGrad

    Posts: 1541

    Jan 18, 2011 8:45 PM GMT
    I think the bullying is horrible, and it needs to be eradicated from schools...even if that means throwing the bullies out of school: however I'm never sure in cases like these if the person who has taken their life did so exclusively because of bullies.

    I mean, it's a little bit self serving of us, as a community, to sum all of this up to bullying because, in earnest, many within our community also like to play games...and there are casualties of those kinds of games as well.

    You all probably know what I'm talking about: the crew that think it's okay to hook up with someone, and then bail on them, and act like they never existed because after all, they were just a trick. I think we neglect the very heavy toll that being treated like that can have on the psyche of an individual who may already be succeptable to bouts of depression or despondence.

    And of course there are other pressures as well that can lead to this outcome: money, family, school, work, relationship, etc...

    Note, I'm not exonerating the bullies: there should be no place for these slimes to hide. However it should be noted that a lot of kids are bullied...and not all of them are gay.

    As for the outcome, suicide is the ultimate fatal condition of untreated or untreatable depression...and so the only understanding anyone is ever in a position to offer is the understanding the need to be compassionate and supportive to your fellow man. After all, it's not just gay teens or teens in general who take their lives...but often the reasons for suicide are the same, regardless of the individual's age, gender, ethnicity or sexual orientation.

    People going through a very rough patch in life, unable to see the sun through the trees, and unwilling to go through the pain of having to endure another day of hardship. I know this from personal experience because these are demons I've battled with for virtually my whole life.

    Ultimately, the magic bullet in helping people understand that life can be good should work for all of these people...but of course, we live in a world that seems to cultivate ruthlessness, and tolerates cruelty.

    The world does not suffer the vulnerable.
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    Jan 18, 2011 11:08 PM GMT
    Sad to read about this young man---

    here's from the Alexandria paper

    Lance Lundsten, 18, Miltona, died January 15, 2011.

    Funeral services will be held Tuesday evening, January 18 at 7:30 p.m. at St. Mary's Church in Alexandria.

    Visitation will be Tuesday, January 18 from 4 to 7:30 p.m. at the church.

    Arrangements are with Anderson Funeral Home in Alexandria; www.andersonfuneral.net.



    and then there was also this snippet --he was a singer--

    Jefferson Idol is held every three years on a rotating cycle of academics arts and athletics during March Madness week. The Parent Advisory Committee is an integral part of the event. ...Of those who auditioned six acts were selected to perform in front of their peers including Lindsey Johnston junior Lance Lundsten junior Cody Saurdiff junior Sarah Engebretson senior Kalee Guenther sophomore and The Three Amigos Dave Wilson senior Spencer Christensen ...The guest judges were Tom E. Lee Ann Hermes and Joe Korkowski


    I grew up not 30 miles from Alex and my cousins kids would be at Jefferson with him. There is also a realjock member from Alexandria--
  • c00lness

    Posts: 37

    Jan 19, 2011 2:06 AM GMT
    It is sad that in a nation as great as America people have to do these things. I don't care if your gay straight bi asian white mexican black etc. There is no need to bully people SO I SAY TO THOSE WHO EVEN THINK ABOUT IT DON'T YOU EVEN DARE COMMIT SUICIDE ITS NOT WORTH IT THINGS WILL GET BETTER !!!!!!!!!!
  • TheIStrat

    Posts: 777

    Jan 19, 2011 2:08 AM GMT
    May his bullies never know a night of peace for the rest of their lives
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Jan 19, 2011 2:10 AM GMT
    Your country needs an enema. It's not leading the free world, it's leading the world into a toilet of hatred and intolerance. You're worse than the muslim countries. At least they have rules and standards. No, I'm not Muslim.
  • TrentGrad

    Posts: 1541

    Jan 19, 2011 2:37 AM GMT
    barriehomeboy said Your country needs an enema. It's not leading the free world, it's leading the world into a toilet of hatred and intolerance. You're worse than the muslim countries. At least they have rules and standards. No, I'm not Muslim.


    I'm not from the USA either, but I think you're being exceptionally unfair here.

    I'd venture to say that bullying happens at EVERY school in EVERY country in the world...this could just as easily been a Canadian teen who was bullied and who committed suicide!

    If anything, I'd say in many Muslim nations, the standards you speak of would only make the bullying all the more unbearable: after all, if you can't even turn to authorities because revealling yourself to be gay could mean even more trouble, where do those kids turn when they are being bullied?
  • BIG_N_TALL

    Posts: 2190

    Jan 19, 2011 2:49 AM GMT
    TheIStrat saidMay his bullies never know a night of peace for the rest of their lives


    it would be a fitting justice...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 19, 2011 2:52 AM GMT
    Poor kid. He was such a cutie. icon_sad.gif

    I really despise seeing this shit happen in my own state. It disgusts me to an extreme degree. Especially after hearing that one of my high school friends nearly joined the deceased for the same reason.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 19, 2011 5:49 AM GMT
    TrentGrad saidI think the bullying is horrible, and it needs to be eradicated from schools...even if that means throwing the bullies out of school: however I'm never sure in cases like these if the person who has taken their life did so exclusively because of bullies.

    I mean, it's a little bit self serving of us, as a community, to sum all of this up to bullying because, in earnest, many within our community also like to play games...and there are casualties of those kinds of games as well.

    You all probably know what I'm talking about: the crew that think it's okay to hook up with someone, and then bail on them, and act like they never existed because after all, they were just a trick. I think we neglect the very heavy toll that being treated like that can have on the psyche of an individual who may already be succeptable to bouts of depression or despondence.

    And of course there are other pressures as well that can lead to this outcome: money, family, school, work, relationship, etc...

    Note, I'm not exonerating the bullies: there should be no place for these slimes to hide. However it should be noted that a lot of kids are bullied...and not all of them are gay.

    As for the outcome, suicide is the ultimate fatal condition of untreated or untreatable depression...and so the only understanding anyone is ever in a position to offer is the understanding the need to be compassionate and supportive to your fellow man. After all, it's not just gay teens or teens in general who take their lives...but often the reasons for suicide are the same, regardless of the individual's age, gender, ethnicity or sexual orientation.

    People going through a very rough patch in life, unable to see the sun through the trees, and unwilling to go through the pain of having to endure another day of hardship. I know this from personal experience because these are demons I've battled with for virtually my whole life.

    Ultimately, the magic bullet in helping people understand that life can be good should work for all of these people...but of course, we live in a world that seems to cultivate ruthlessness, and tolerates cruelty.

    The world does not suffer the vulnerable.


    I quite agree Trent. It goes a little deeper I think too than just bullying.
    In my case the bully was gay but did not come out for many years after
    High School. He kinda got his comeuppance though. One night at a bar in Montreal he decided to take a Masters invitation to an orgy. I leaked to one of the orgy members who he was not thinking for a minute what could happen. He got hurt real bad. I felt kinda sorry but what I said was not my intention. Many years later I told a friend about the incident. He said
    "Are you fucking kidding? Drop an email to all your classmates especially
    those who are gay. Believe me you'll get flowers. Think of how many childhoods the prick ruined. Think about that!" Funny sometimes how life catches up with the bully.







  • needleninja

    Posts: 713

    Jan 19, 2011 5:50 AM GMT
    its times like this that i get tired of taking shit from the world.
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    Jan 24, 2011 4:10 AM GMT
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 24, 2011 4:20 AM GMT
    This suicide-after-bullying thing isn't more common today than 40 years ago. However, local news is now getting national coverage.

    Minneapolis stories wouldn't have made the paper in Los Angeles even eight years ago. But with the proliferation of instant worldwide blogging, events that are local are now elevated to national prominence.

    As consumers we're apt to think, "If I'M hearing these stories they MUST be important!" And if important we're apt to think, "with greater frequency".

    And they are important, but the national relevance is being blown out of proportion.
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    Jan 24, 2011 4:22 AM GMT
    mickeytopogigio saidThis suicide-after-bullying thing isn't more common today than 40 years ago. However, local news is now getting national coverage.

    Minneapolis stories wouldn't have made the paper in Los Angeles even eight years ago. But with the proliferation of instant worldwide blogging, events that are local are now elevated to national prominence.

    As consumers we're apt to think, "If I'M hearing these stories they MUST be important!" And if important we're apt to think, "with greater frequency".

    And they are important, but the national relevance is being blown out of proportion.


    I think you hit the nail on the head there. Additionally, I think that the families of gay kids are more apt to acknowledge their kids are gay. In the old days, that issue would have been swept under the rug, these days people are more willing to call a spade a spade.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 24, 2011 4:28 AM GMT
    needleninja saidits times like this that i get tired of taking shit from the world.



    Maybe times are different, I was bullied and by god I took my own defence and knocked two teeth out, fattened his lips, bloodied his nose and broke his glassed, and I had get on the second step on a stairs to get up to his level to do it. Kinda glad my other friends stopped me though.

    Point is: why in the hell don't kids help themselves when it gets too rough? There's such a thing as refusing to go to school, or going to the principles office and flat out demanding that it end and if not threatening to call state oficials. I'm grabbing at straws I know, but there's ways of helping yourself, if no one else will.