I'm Bloomingdale's But He Is Walmart.......

  • turtleneckjoc...

    Posts: 4685

    Jan 24, 2011 12:16 AM GMT
    Guys, the most amazing thing happened two nights ago.....After a long, long drought, I have a guy that is interested in me!

    Looks-wise, he's average, but has beautiful eyes that beg me to want him more and more. Last night, we arranged an impromptu get-together at his place and had a great time (yes, we ended up in bed in case anyone wants to know).

    The problem I have is this:

    He told me where he lived and I knew the area. When I arrived at his apartment complex, the buildings were rather seedy and tired looking. His apartment was dimly lit, kitchen bare, little furniture, bed wasn't made, but the thing I noticed the most was the artificial table top Christmas tree still lit.....

    When we met the other night, he told me he worked in retail, but come to find out he works in a gift shop at the Orlando Airport (low wages explains the spartan surroundings in his apartment). He also uses public transportation because he really cannot afford a car.

    And my question/dilemma:

    I'm the opposite. I enjoy and appreciate the finer aspects of life, regardless of what it is, cuisine, cars, homes, a higher-paying career. You guys know what I am talking about. He's out of my league in that department, but should I......

    ...."bring him up to speed" by introducing him to "my world?"
    .....kick him to the curb and look for "Neiman Marcus?"
    .....or do nothing?

    My heart is telling me to accept him as he is (he is so, sweet), but I want to help him (not financially--not in that position now). Maybe introduced him to the finer things in life. Besides, if this new friendship develops into something more, it won't be an issue then.

    What do I do now, guys?

    I need advice on this unique issue....Thanks!!

  • needleninja

    Posts: 713

    Jan 24, 2011 12:22 AM GMT
    oh boy, well since im your friend i might as well help you out. now i dont see you mentioning him being very shallow and such, so is he very pestimistic? or does he like the finer things in life? if he does, then thats great, but make note that we are not all on the wealthy side as of now. I would continue development and see how it proceeds. DO NOT MESS IT UP!!!, instead let him mess it up.
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    Jan 24, 2011 12:42 AM GMT
    Gay version of Pretty Woman? icon_lol.gif

    Get to know him. Does he have goals and aspirations beyond working in an airport gift shop? If he's content with where he's at, then yeah I can foresee some issues in the relationship. But if he has plans to improve his situation, then you can stick around and see where things go.
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    Jan 24, 2011 12:43 AM GMT
    turtleneckjock saidI need advice on this unique issue....Thanks!!

    You tell us about his THINGS, but not really about HIM. Therefore, hard to judge.

    I am the worst of all snobs, raised in privilege, wealth & prestige, but thanks to my parents, and humbling lessons taught to me by the US Army, the least interested guy in what your bank account holds. I know dirt-bag millionaires, and saintly beggars who put me to shame. What I treasure is character.

    Show me your personality, not your purse. I'm more interested in your intangibles than your tangibles. The latter can always change, but the former tend to reflect who you will always be.

    But beware of turning this guy into your pet, or your Pygmalion (do reference your GB Shaw). Make sure you have the right clay before you start molding him.
  • turtleneckjoc...

    Posts: 4685

    Jan 24, 2011 1:07 AM GMT
    Thanks to those that have given advice so far and I do need to clarify here:

    Granted, I am just now getting to know this guy and who knows where it could lead.I am sure he doesn't want to make the gift shop is life's calling, but he's only 35. If it were me, I would kick start this to a different level to enhance the knowledge he has, which could translate into better opportunities for him.

    Art_Deco, as always, you nail it. He has a great personality (and his eyes just make my heart melt too), As time goes by, I know he's not happy with his lot in life and should do better. His character (to this point) has been top-notch.

    Please let me state I'm not a spoiled-rotten snot about this. I have been exposed to different things and happen to like them---a lot. Personally, I admire someone like a Donald Trump, but don't have his bank account (or even 1/10,000th of it). That doesn't stop me from "thinking big." and "striving harder."
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jan 24, 2011 1:34 AM GMT
    Umm... honestly, you sound incredibly shallow and judgmental from your post. My advice would be to a take a closer look at yourself.
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    Jan 24, 2011 2:03 AM GMT
    Yeah this sounds a bit shallow. You should look less at how he lives and more at who he is as a person. If he is a great guy with a great heart that you get along with well then the fact that his apartment isn't nice shouldn't stop you from pursuing things with him. But then again, if you think he is lazy, unmotivated, etc. and that is a problem for you, then that is a more legitimate problem to have.
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    Jan 24, 2011 2:09 AM GMT
    Does he make you happy?

    I wouldn't sacrifice that, due to his financial standings. It would be a shallow choice to make. Since he makes you happy, I would stick with him and just see where it goes. icon_smile.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 24, 2011 2:12 AM GMT
    Well I understand that you would notice his surroundings and it sounds like it may not be the best, but don't get over judgemental (especially on his Christmas tree.. maybe he just likes it). Yeah, I'd notice if his bed wasn't made, but thats my issue. Some people just don't feel the need to "have the finer things" or to be diligent around the house.

    The real question is... how he lives his life.. do you have things in common?

    And what he hell were you doing screwing on the first date??? LOL
    (you know I have to say something about that).......
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    Jan 24, 2011 2:13 AM GMT
    Sounds like 80% of the gays around here. Does he aspire to more? or make excuses about how he "doesn't need that much" (aka a cop out so as to not try and better his circumstance), it all depends on him as a person and how he compliments your life.
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    Jan 24, 2011 2:14 AM GMT
    so shop at Macy's bubi!!!!
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    Jan 24, 2011 2:14 AM GMT
    Well, the above two posters said that you seem shallow in your OP, but I see it differently.

    Maybe you have to see this guy as someone who is to be a challenge for you. You say you like the 'finer' things in life, but perhaps this guy will teach you to appreciate the simpler things.

    Money isn't everything, nor are possessions. Find out more about this guy, focus less on being Henry Higgins and more on learning from him. After all, even Eliza Doolittle was happy to remain being a flowergirl after tasting the life of a princess.

    All the best with the dreamy guy icon_razz.gif
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    Jan 24, 2011 2:15 AM GMT
    "I'm Bloomingdale's but He Is Walmart......."

    Lmfaoo just made my day.
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    Jan 24, 2011 2:16 AM GMT
    I'm Big Lots.
  • Mikeylikesit

    Posts: 1021

    Jan 24, 2011 2:18 AM GMT
    I'm Saks fifth avenue....Come here babe....icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 24, 2011 2:19 AM GMT
    ok..i won't be a hypocrite..this has happened to me too, and although it is a bit shallow, the difference in your "economic" standing will definitely create some issues later on.

    The only question that is relevant is (at least to me), how comfortable would you be in introducing him to your circle of friends? I know this might sound superficial but at some point, you will have to introduce him to your friends and family.

    As far as introducing him to the finer things in life, it's your call. I don't think he'd be offended. Nor will it be in bad taste. As far as whether you will enjoy the same things and the same activities is another concern.

    It might be cute at first, but then it might be problematic later on.
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    Jan 24, 2011 2:19 AM GMT
    So whats the problem? It seems you two would make a great couple. No need to overreact Imelda. icon_wink.gif Btw you don't need to show him the finer things in life. Just show him who you are and let him decide.
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    Jan 24, 2011 2:23 AM GMT
    turtleneckjock said I enjoy and appreciate the finer aspects of life, regardless of what it is, cuisine, cars, homes, a higher-paying career. You guys know what I am talking about. He's out of my league in that department

    He is most likely grappling with the opposite dilemma at this very moment. "I met this guy and it was nice - but he's so condescending it could never work."
    My guess is he dumps you first.
  • BIG_N_TALL

    Posts: 2190

    Jan 24, 2011 2:29 AM GMT
    When you love someone, materialistic things should not matter. Granted, 'love' might not be the best word to use in context to your new relationship with this guy, but if you care about him or see this budding relationship going somewhere serious, you might want to re-evaluate your priorities.
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    Jan 24, 2011 2:36 AM GMT
    Thank you for your message OP.

    I'm unclear though of your immediate question. Should you raise doubts about the relationship or dating him early or are you asking the group whether you should introduce him to alternative, more expenses tastes?

    if you choose to pursue him without apprehension and conviction, do so with your entire heart and mind focused on the character of the person. However, if you determine that you require more expensive materials and restaurants then look elsewhere.

    Regardless of an individual's status in this economy, a person is a person. Good luck figuring out what your dilemma is. I doubt you are shallow, but maybe an introduction to his world and introducing him to yours will help you find a balance.

    Mike
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    Jan 24, 2011 2:37 AM GMT
    ummmm, similar story but not really. my boyfriend isnt from this country, however he's ambitious, great person with a big heart. His set back is thAT HE'S TOO TRUSTING, ENGLISH IS HIS THIRD LANGUAGE AND never studied in the US. that being said, he's the best at what he does and he only needed a nudge in the right direction to get him going. I got fed up with him telluing me he is tired of his job and helped him get a new job... one that pays him a lot of money, great benefits and now... lol, i look like the baggage. I'm the one in school. After not having a car, now hes driving a new bmw to drop off some food at school for me (: or to pick me up to take me out (: anyway, its the person you're dating, not his job. if you have a way to help him out...do so!
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    Jan 24, 2011 2:40 AM GMT
    Oh baby, you're going to have to compromise... Find Target and date him!

    But seriously, you sound shallow... I'm fucking Prada! But if a Walmart loved me, I'd love his ass until the cows came home!
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    Jan 24, 2011 2:40 AM GMT
    Olympian saidWhen you love someone, materialistic things should not matter. Granted, 'love' might not be the best word to use in context to your new relationship with this guy, but if you care about him or see this budding relationship going somewhere serious, you might want to re-evaluate your priorities.


    Jeff, listen to Olympian. He has some good advice here.
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Jan 24, 2011 2:42 AM GMT
    I don't make lot's of money but I enjoy what I do. It's like here in Chicago, I'm not a north side gay guy, so a big chunk of those guys have already written me off because I live on the south side. Before you decide thumbs up or down or your guy, give him a chance, he might surprise you.
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    Jan 24, 2011 2:43 AM GMT