Should I take the hint?

  • nubScotty

    Posts: 282

    Jan 24, 2011 1:08 AM GMT
    I met a guy online end of December, we exchanged a few emails eventually started texting each-other pretty much daily. Two weeks ago, we finally ended up hanging out for the first time(not a date, since it was at his house) we watched a movie in his room, but spent most of the time talking and flirting. One thing led to another and we didn't hook-up per se, but fooled around. I end up leaving his house around 1am he walks me out asks if I want to hang out again, and than while driving home he text me he had a good time and said we should go on a real date next time.

    That week we both initiate conversations etc, I goto Vegas don't hear from him for a couple days, I text him when I get back see if he wants to hang out Sat night, he said he already has plans, no biggie. The replies are short and so we go a few days again with no contact, I text him Wed we chat for a bit and joke. I text Thurs night and no reply, and have not heard from him since.

    Should I just cut my losses and move on, or should I try a final time and be fairly blunt as ask if he still wanted to hang out again? Kinda confused since he was the one who asked if I wanted to go out again, and I totally suck at the dating "game" so any advice would be great.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 24, 2011 1:11 AM GMT
    Yes... If he's interested he will seek you out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 24, 2011 1:13 AM GMT
    Scotty you're much too cute to wait on him. Cut him loose and find another one seeing that's probably what he did. Like the guy above said if he is interested he'll seek you out
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 24, 2011 1:18 AM GMT
    If you feel like he has a genuine reason to be not being able to respond then send him a last message about what you think and after that depending on what you get back, take the next step.
  • TrentGrad

    Posts: 1541

    Jan 24, 2011 1:24 AM GMT
    Hmmm...well, it could be that he really meant it when he said you both should go on a real date next time...but it could just be that between then and now, he's met another guy who he really likes, and he's following up on that end.

    It sucks, but if you take a blunt approach, he's likely going to just write you off as some crazy guy.

    My advice would be, just let it go, and if he's still interested, he'll get in touch. And at that point, if you're still interested, you can meet up with him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 24, 2011 1:25 AM GMT
    Having been through a similar situation myself recently, it's best to let things go. If someone isn't treating you the way that you deserve to be treated, it's time to move along. It won't be easy to do, but you'll be a happier person when you're focusing on yourself instead of the other guy.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jan 24, 2011 1:37 AM GMT
    if you ever ask yourself if you need to take a hint, then chances are the answer is yes
  • Glorfindel

    Posts: 277

    Jan 24, 2011 1:50 AM GMT
    I'm a firm believer in the idea that if they're interested, they will make the effort to seek you out. You put the effort into it so it's his turn to reciprocate and make an effort.

    It sucks sometimes when you think you really had a connection and they even said so and then you don't know why it apparently changed.

    So I say let him make the next contact. You've tried. I hope it works out for you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 24, 2011 1:51 AM GMT
    I agree with above that you should definitely take the hint. Just don't initiate any conversations anymore and see if he talks to you.

    I will shed some light on what possibly happened. I have before gone on a date with a guy and thought things were good and actually made out with the guy at the end. When we left each other we decided we wanted to go get dinner later that week and I was excited. Well then I started driving home in silence (about a 30 minute drive) while thinking about him and the more I thought, the more I didn't see us together.

    What happened was that I was in the moment and heat of the date and was like "OMG a boy" since it was my first date ever with a guy. In reality, when I was out of the moment, I realized we were completely incompatible, had nothing in common and he was not my type, physically or personality-wise. The difference between me and this guy you are dealing with was that I actually told him how I felt and didn't just blow him off.

    This could have happened, which sucks and I am sorry. But rejection is a reality and helps us learn. Keep your chin up buddy!
  • nubScotty

    Posts: 282

    Jan 24, 2011 2:47 AM GMT
    calibro saidif you ever ask yourself if you need to take a hint, then chances are the answer is yes


    Yeh I had pretty much come to that conclusion, was just wondering if anyone else had a different view on the situation.

    Thanks for all the input guys.
  • Jericophantom...

    Posts: 185

    Jan 24, 2011 3:02 AM GMT
    People will seek you out if they know you want them in return though its only been a few days give him till the end of tomorrow night first day of work after a maybe good weekend if theres no response don't bother caring on throughout week just cut the knot and keep moving forward

    Echo-XOXOXO
  • UnluckyTitan

    Posts: 106

    Jan 24, 2011 3:13 AM GMT
    calibro saidif you ever ask yourself if you need to take a hint, then chances are the answer is yes


    What he said
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Jan 24, 2011 3:16 AM GMT
    yes, you were just a hookup. i am sorry to be so harsh but it is true. he will contact you when he is ready to do it again. honestly, you not wait around for him
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 24, 2011 1:17 PM GMT
    Contrary to what everyone else is saying, I'd shoot him one more text. Simply ask if he's still down for a date. You've got nothing to lose, right? Worse case scenario is that he says no.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 24, 2011 1:21 PM GMT
    I think he probably has somebody else he's interested in, but regardless,
    I'd certainly not wait around. Whether you shoot him one more text is your own business.. the real concern I have is that you shift your focus from
    "waiting" to "moving on".

    I'm sure you can find someone else that you find interesting. If the guy here later texts you after some weeks, I think it will be your choice as to whether you want to talk to him... or give him a polite send off....
  • Brando

    Posts: 161

    Jan 24, 2011 2:10 PM GMT
    I ran into the same problem back in Oct-November. I met a guy and we hung out quite a few times and hooked up. He told me a few times he really liked me and I was pretty happy since it was the first Guy I was "seeing".
    Although we never became an official couple, it lasted for a while.
    But when December came, we didn't have alot of time to see each other too much with work and parties and traveling. So everytime I did get a chance I'd text and see if he wanted to hang out.. eventually he said in a joking way that I was stuck on him. That did not sound good. So I stopped trying and went for about a month with absolutely no talking.

    The good news, I finally sent him a text inviting him to one of my shows at the theater and he respondedright away. He even drove over an hour to come see it. Afterwards we went to dinner and he paid. And texted me on his way back home.

    ...we are supposed to hang out this week if we don't get too busy. :^)

    I'd say.. shoot him one more text. All non-chalant like, and then take a break from him to see if he writes you. Then after a month or so, try "restarting" the relationship.

    I might be 22, but I'm still pretty new to the dating game as well and this is just my input.

    Hope everything goes well!
  • ZacktheMan

    Posts: 340

    Jan 25, 2011 11:03 PM GMT
    staple_ saidContrary to what everyone else is saying, I'd shoot him one more text. Simply ask if he's still down for a date. You've got nothing to lose, right? Worse case scenario is that he says no.


    IMO, worst case scenario is: 'NO REPLY'.