The U.S. South: Most Welcoming to Gay Couples and Families?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 24, 2011 3:07 AM GMT
    I'm surprised no one commented on this article detailing how new demographic data shows that the US South has a high rate of gay couples and gay families (with children).

    http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/11023/1119821-84.stm

    Does that imply that Southerners are more inclined towards monogamy and raising families? What are your thoughts and experiences?
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jan 24, 2011 4:42 AM GMT
    I am happy that times have changed. Sadly, I remember a time all too different. icon_wink.gif
  • dannyboy1101

    Posts: 977

    Jan 24, 2011 4:52 AM GMT
    Or is it that the south has higher incidence of men coming out later (after having a wife and kids)?
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    Jan 24, 2011 5:03 AM GMT
    dannyboy1101 saidOr is it that the south has higher incidence of men coming out later (after having a wife and kids)?


    Yes that is what the news and observers says.

    Raleigh made it to # 3.

    http://www.newsobserver.com/2011/01/23/938123/raleigh-no3-in-gay-parents.html
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    Jan 24, 2011 8:39 AM GMT
    Sounds like Romania...oh wait, here they don't come out. No one does. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jan 24, 2011 9:31 AM GMT
    BuckYou saidSounds like Romania...oh wait, here they don't come out. No one does. icon_rolleyes.gif


    really? thats sad.. you'd think europe were more progressive than that
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Jan 24, 2011 10:18 AM GMT
    Pato_Rico said
    BuckYou saidSounds like Romania...oh wait, here they don't come out. No one does. icon_rolleyes.gif


    really? thats sad.. you'd think europe were more progressive than that


    Eastern Europe is completely different than Western Europe.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 24, 2011 2:26 PM GMT
    southbeach1500 saidWell, this certainly bursts the bubble of many of the liberal hens on here who are constantly equating the South of today to the South of 200 years ago.
    .



    Damn, why does everything have to put with a political slant on it...

    The reality is... MOST people would be surprised to read this, regardless of political spin...
  • turtleneckjoc...

    Posts: 4685

    Jan 24, 2011 2:42 PM GMT
    southbeach1500 said
    HndsmKansan said

    Damn, why does everything have to put with a political slant on it...


    Because..... when a report like this comes along, it's important to point out that it shatters the misconception that is frequently voiced on here by the liberals that the South is backwards, homophobic, racist, etc.




    HndsmKansan saidThe reality is... MOST people would be surprised to read this, regardless of political spin...


    I don't agree. However, I would agree if we were just speaking of the aforementioned liberal hens on here.


    Dear boy, this "liberal hen" here can tell you that "backwards, homophopic and racist" attitudes exit and flourish right here in our own state of Florida.

    I encourage you to travel to the Florida Panhandle, Southwest Florida and to some of the Orlando exurbs sometime.......you might take that statement back.
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    Jan 24, 2011 4:21 PM GMT
    If we must take a political slant the Raleigh article suggests that they move out of the conservative homophobic rural areas to larger metro areas of the south:

    "Long also thinks the Triangle's universities and Research Triangle Park bring liberal residents who may be more accepting of same-sex families."

    http://www.newsobserver.com/2011/01/23/938123/raleigh-no3-in-gay-parents.html#ixzz1ByAn5jKW

    To be fair I think they should use the term progressive rather than liberal. I worked at Wachovia in Charlotte and while Charlotte is blue most of Wachovia and suburban Charlotte are red. My boss is openly gay and raising two kids with his partner. They are a NYC couple who had adopted the kids. The republicans at Wachovia are of the northeastern variety and very different from the republicans at Coke where my sister works. Some of the people there have bible versus in their email signature.

    I think the article summed it up well. You live in the homophobic rural south and you are told homosexuality is a choice so you get married and have a kid. When you come to terms with your sexuality you don't want to be far from family so you move to the more accepting progressive pockets. When I moved to Charlotte I was quite taken back by how many gay men had children from previous marriages.


  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 24, 2011 4:23 PM GMT
    southbeach1500 said
    HndsmKansan said

    Damn, why does everything have to put with a political slant on it...


    Because..... when a report like this comes along, it's important to point out that it shatters the misconception that is frequently voiced on here by the liberals that the South is backwards, homophobic, racist, etc.




    HndsmKansan saidThe reality is... MOST people would be surprised to read this, regardless of political spin...


    I don't agree. However, I would agree if we were just speaking of the aforementioned liberal hens on here.


    I hold that many people in this country think that, right wingers as well...
    It isn't a democratic or republican misconception... icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Sparkycat

    Posts: 1064

    Jan 24, 2011 4:58 PM GMT
    http://www.edgenewengland.com/news////115422/ga_gay_man_gets_hate_note,_then_bedroom_burns_down
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    Jan 24, 2011 5:08 PM GMT
    southbeach1500 saidWell, this certainly bursts the bubble of many of the liberal hens on here who are constantly equating the South of today to the South of 200 years ago.

    Not surprising though, as these same people live in the Washington - New York - Boston "liberal zone" or in "red" San Francisco and to them, the South is a place to be feared and to "fly over" as they go from the "liberal safe haven" of the Northeast to the "liberal safe haven" of California.



    Except many of these gay couples with children in the south are not because the gay couple decided together to have children. It is because gays tend to come out later in life, and are bringing these children with them from their earlier heterosexual relationship/marriage into the gay relationship. I have a feeling if this were just gay couples that decided together to have children, those results would be very different.

    "A large number of gay couples, possibly a majority, entered into their current relationship after first having children with partners in heterosexual relationships, Mr. Gates said. That seemed to be the case for many blacks and Latinos in Jacksonville, for whom church disapproval weighed heavily."


    And no, I don't think the South is backwards and hillbilly. Kind of funny how you accuse liberals of making a generalization by making a generalization yourself. So here is my generalization- So many of you on both sides do this same thing in these news and politics threads of right vs left, Democrat vs Republican, conservative vs liberal. You're all so predictable- guilty of the same thing you accuse the other side of.

  • BeingThePhoen...

    Posts: 1157

    Jan 24, 2011 5:13 PM GMT
    Lets not get it twisted, people. There are tons of racists, homophobes and bigots in the south. Yes, it is becoming more and more accpted as the older generations are dying off, but it still exists in a very visable way to gay southern families and southern minority groups.
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    Jan 24, 2011 5:23 PM GMT
    While there remain SOME North/South distinctions, the cultural divide in this country exists far more strongly between those in rural or suburban areas, and those in large cities. This has been true for some time. Even here in San Francisco, the historic "gay mecca", all you have to do is go 30 or so miles outside city limits, and you will find FAR more conservative (and, in some cases, homophobic) attitudes. I encountered this myself in 2008 when I went to some outer suburbs to campaign against Prop 8 (the gay marriage ban).
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    Jan 24, 2011 5:46 PM GMT
    I moved to the south from Long Island, NY 7 years ago and I have had way more acceptance in the south than in New York. That's my experience, New York isn't as accepting as people seem to think, at least not outside NYC. Southerners might seem backward from stories of years past, but seriously, the past years have been very progressive for them and acceptance of others' differences seems to be much more prominent nowadays, I can surmise that this is learned from their past mistakes. You might be surprised, but the south has come far and will go further. I see it every day.
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    Jan 24, 2011 5:53 PM GMT
    i come from an old-south family with alabama roots going back to pre-colonial times.

    the story is consistent with my lifelong experience. and so do most of the points made by commenters here, if one takes them together as describing the full picture.

    since reconstruction southerners have had to get along and exercise tolerance despite their antipathies towards various groups. and we've done it quite well.

    for instance, for a century-and-a-half electorates where one particular group held a majority have elected minority candidates more frequently than has the nation at large. alabama, for example, had one of the first female governors, and the first black mayor of a majority white city.

    that the south is full of contradictions is evidenced by the fact that this has occurred even as polls and other evidence have shown no softening among those electorates of any softening of negative attitudes toward the minority group those candidates came from.

    the (rich and wonderful) southern literary tradition has been built largely on chronicling the constant presence, and routine acceptance within the south of the odd and eccentric. it is often characterized as being rooted in the traditional calvinist (and decidedly non-fundamentalist) belief that all are obliged to extend a christ-like embrace of all - thieves, whores and sinners included.

    and who doesn't want to be part of that bawdy, fun, large-living group?!
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Jan 24, 2011 6:50 PM GMT
    I'm pleasantly surprised that there are increasingly gay families in the South, just the same as the increasing African-American population since the '90s. It's a profound step closer to ending the conservative Southern Strategy that has a stranglehold on social progress.


    icon_wink.gif Take that SouthBeach!
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    Jan 24, 2011 7:04 PM GMT
    coolarmydude saidI'm pleasantly surprised that there are increasingly gay families in the South, just the same as the increasing African-American population since the '90s. It's a profound step closer to ending the Republican Southern Strategy that has a stranglehold on social progress.


    icon_wink.gif Take that SouthBeach!


    Fixed that for you!

    icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 24, 2011 8:15 PM GMT
    Tonync1969 saidI moved to the south from Long Island, NY 7 years ago and I have had way more acceptance in the south than in New York. That's my experience, New York isn't as accepting as people seem to think, at least not outside NYC. Southerners might seem backward from stories of years past, but seriously, the past years have been very progressive for them and acceptance of others' differences seems to be much more prominent nowadays, I can surmise that this is learned from their past mistakes. You might be surprised, but the south has come far and will go further. I see it every day.


    I see you live in Wilmington which I find is a very special place. I don't think it is just northerners or liberals but gay men in general who see the south as one big homophobic land. I sometimes wonder if Wilmington, Charlestons or Savannah were not in the south would they be far more of or a gay beach destinations than they are.

    Sparkycat saidhttp://www.edgenewengland.com/news////115422/ga_gay_man_gets_hate_note,_then_bedroom_burns_down


    Even in the above horrific incident, if you read the whole article you get the true sense of what Hickram is referring to. Read further down and you get this comment:

    Staples’ mother said he had been out of the closet for 20 years, is so sick he’s unable to leave the house and has no enemies that she knows of. One news report lists his age as 40; another, 43.

    Even the local police were sickened by the act. "This is the first time I’ve dealt with anything of this nature in 16 years," said Capt. Shane Taylor of the county sheriff’s office. "I can’t believe anyone would have such hatred in their heart as to do somebody like that, especially when they don’t even know him. They don’t know him," she said.

    "We have lived here for 31 years and have never had any trouble," Morris said. "I mean, everyone knows him and he doesn’t bother a soul. I just don’t understand. He’s a good person and everyone who knows him calls him ’Brother.’


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 24, 2011 11:02 PM GMT
    The U.S. South: Most Welcoming to Gay Couples and Families?

    If you mean the people of the South, you are completely wrong. The South is the center of homophobia in the US.

    The South as an employment opportunity, as a pleasant climate, as a lower-cost alternative to the Northern urban way of life, does appeal to many gays. You have to distinguish between the Southern people and Southern property & prospects.

    Many gays are willing to put up with Southern hatred & prejudice to benefit from Southern advantages in other areas. I've lived down here for many years, in most of the States of the Old South, and I know these people. Knowing them better, perhaps, then they willing admit about themselves. Gays come down here for the prosperity & opportunities, in spite of the homophobic people.
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    Jan 24, 2011 11:05 PM GMT
    southbeach1500 saidTo those of you who don't live in the South.... pay no attention to this delusional person who lives in a cloistered gay ghetto known as Wilton Manors. The South is nothing at all like this frightened person describes.

    Whenever you resort to that kind of personal attack (not to mention your slander of an entire city), I know I've hit home. YES!!! And BTW, I lived 13 years in southern States other than Florida: Georgia, Alabama, Arkansas, Kentucky, Texas, Oklahoma (OK not really the Old South), with extensive time in Louisiana, Mississippi & Virginia. Not to mention travel through all of them below the Mason-Dixon Line.
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    Jan 24, 2011 11:30 PM GMT
    southbeach1500 saidIt's not a personal attack.

    Anybody who would write what you did - which is far, far, far from the truth - is either a liar, or delusional.

    So, take your pick.

    I pick the particulars of the post, not the personality to debate.
  • rioriz

    Posts: 1056

    Jan 25, 2011 1:48 AM GMT
    I am actually friends with the first gay couple who were allowed to adopt in Nashville. It is a great story. If anyone has to move to a Southern city I would say TN, Nashville more specifically, is one of the more open minded places in the South.
  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    Jan 25, 2011 1:55 AM GMT
    I live in the Chapel Hill-Raleigh-Durham area of NC, and it's probably one of the best-educated and most progressive areas of the country (Wake County schoolboard notwithstanding). While it's not exactly a rousing epicenter of gay life or culture, there are ALOT of gay men and lesbians here and many of them are raising families with the full acceptance of their neighbors.

    Charlotte, despite being the headquarters of a lot of right-wing religious groups, has become surprisingly gay friendly over the past decade. And Asheville has for a long time been a haven for more nature-oriented gay men and lesbians.

    All in all, NC is representing very well!