So i went to a Gay bar for 4rt Time

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 24, 2011 3:49 AM GMT
    This is the 4rt time i go to a gay bar, and i noticed that maybe some guys looked at me, but they didnt aproach to me to say hi, i was alone icon_confused.gif
    I feel that i will die virgin and without love. I am like no one, i am nothing, i am no were. Maybe all of you are saying, dont get a BF, etc, yah, i know, i know a Gay Bar is not a place to find your true love, but, i just want friends! someone to talk, someone to hug, someone to have great and funny times. And the drinks went up $1.50 more =O, thats really piss off. I wont drink anymore in that bar. So Expensive! >=(, i need to find other gay Bar. Well, that was the one of the Decent bars i had tolled about. And i dont drink Beer....i spent 16.50 in 3 stupid drinks. I will buy a Beer for 3 dollars and have that all night...to have something on hand. icon_rolleyes.gif
    I saw a really cute guy there, but i was too shy, even if i get drunk i can be shy...but i am Driving, 1:40 Hour to my home, so, i dont drink much. icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 24, 2011 5:39 AM GMT
    You're smart to not drink at all before driving, especially a 1:40 drive. Just get a soft drink. Enjoy the bar and don't let anything get you down. Remember your goal - to finish school and join your brother in Florida.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 24, 2011 5:42 AM GMT
    Christian201 said...I saw a really cute guy there, but i was too shy, even if i get drunk i can be shy...


    Take a friend with you next time you go out. The shyness will become less troublesome.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 24, 2011 5:42 AM GMT
    lolwut
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 24, 2011 5:44 AM GMT
    blackstrap saidlolwut


    English is his second language. Give him a break.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 24, 2011 5:57 AM GMT
    LOLNUT.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 24, 2011 6:04 AM GMT
    Eso suena como un desastre. Lo primero que debes aprender es cuando vayas a salir procura tener en mente que es para divertirte. No necesariamente para buscar pareja. Si no tienes amistades con quien ir, puedes ir los dias que hay shows. Casi siempre es a principios de anio. Otro sitio bueno para socializar es el gimnasio. Recuerda que cuando sales tienes que pensar en que vas a pasarla bien. La gente tiende a notar cuando estas incomodo y puede hacer que no se acerquen a ti.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 24, 2011 8:22 AM GMT
    Your not the only 21 years old virgin on this site, relax! Things will happen in their terms, don't freak out too much. icon_biggrin.gif
  • activeboy90

    Posts: 108

    Jan 24, 2011 8:54 AM GMT
    Tu ingles es tan tan tan adorable, es como mi espanol, yo tambien so muy timido. pero solo trata de ser amigos con un persona y eyos te van a introducir a otros amigos. Ase menos de un ano que yo mi sentia muy solo pero solo asiendo un amigo gay abrio munchos puertas y ya no mi siento solo, estoy feliz con amigos que siempre a qerido. Por favor por favor agalo por ti, aunque no te conosco te quiro ver feliz, lo mereses. Solo un amigo el mas dificil parte es desiendo hola. Muncho suerto y te mando amor
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 24, 2011 1:47 PM GMT
    Christian201 saidThis is the 4rt time i go to a gay bar, and i noticed that maybe some guys looked at me, but they didnt aproach to me to say hi, i was alone icon_confused.gif
    I feel that i will die virgin and without love. I am like no one, i am nothing, i am no were. Maybe all of you are saying, dont get a BF, etc, yah, i know, i know a Gay Bar is not a place to find your true love, but, i just want friends! someone to talk, someone to hug, someone to have great and funny times. And the drinks went up $1.50 more =O, thats really piss off. I wont drink anymore in that bar. So Expensive! >=(, i need to find other gay Bar. Well, that was the one of the Decent bars i had tolled about. And i dont drink Beer....i spent 16.50 in 3 stupid drinks. I will buy a Beer for 3 dollars and have that all night...to have something on hand. icon_rolleyes.gif
    I saw a really cute guy there, but i was too shy, even if i get drunk i can be shy...but i am Driving, 1:40 Hour to my home, so, i dont drink much. icon_neutral.gif


    Don't feel bad. No one talks to me when I go to the gay bar either except the friends I already have; or friends I make through friends. I've asked guys that I got to know why they wouldn't talk to me and they said it is an intimidation factor because of my size. Maybe ur just too damn good-lookin! They feel ur out of their league.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 24, 2011 2:02 PM GMT
    If you think drinks are expensive there, try South Beach. icon_lol.gif
    Also, to be approached, sometimes you have to use body language to let them know you're interested...especially when the music is so loud that you can't even hear someone screaming in your ear.
  • Brando

    Posts: 161

    Jan 24, 2011 2:23 PM GMT
    I've gone to the gay club with a few friends a couple times.
    When everyone splits up and goes different directions, its pretty much the same situation. Your right though.. a gay bar is not really the place to find love.
    Try talking to the bar tenders. At least then, you'll make ffriends that work each week and you know will be there, and you might even get some free drinks every now and then.

    But $ 16 isn't that bad. At the club, my drink costs me $7, plus a $3 tip. Try spending $30 on three drinks and not feel anything, even when your not the one driving haha
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 24, 2011 2:31 PM GMT
    Aww mate you just need to chill and go with the flow...Maybe your body language at the club was sending wrong messages to people, making them think that you're a 'creep'.. You're not a creep in anyway, just simply a lil timid and shy.

    All you have to do is just relax and enjoy your own company. The moment you do that, your body language enters the laid back welcoming mode and guys will eventually gravitate towards you. Oh also it never hurts to smile at somebody random.He just might approach in you that way
    Lastly eavesdrop on any interesting conversations and politely enter in to give your opinion on whatever the topic is. Whether they will include you in or not is up to them, but at least you're breaking the ice with social awkwardness you may be feeling.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 24, 2011 2:38 PM GMT
    Go to the gym, build muscle and self confidence.

  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Jan 24, 2011 2:42 PM GMT
    This is what I did when I first started going to a particular gay bar in Seattle as someone from another state: I went early enough before the crowds and made small conversation with the bartenders. They're still working, but the noise level is low enough to where they can work and still have a decent conversation with you. It's how I broke the ice with myself for feeling like a shy stranger.
    Maybe you're into playing pool (billiards). Hang out there. You're bound to talk to someone.

    And when you hang out on the wall, smile. It doesn't necessarily take words to capture good attention.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 24, 2011 2:49 PM GMT
    Yeah, you definitely need to go out to have fun first and foremost. Just go and start talking to people. You're a good looking guy; other people will eventually come up to talk to you.

    If you go to a gay bar alone, go early in the night. Go when they have drink specials or happy hour. Usually the bartenders aren't too busy, and they'll chat with you. (Be sure to tip them with some of the money you're saving) As people start coming in, someone will usually join in your conversation. Just keep talking to people. You can always bring a deck of card or play a game of pool.

    Also, don't go late at night when it's crowded.

    Mostwant3d said: ... Otro sitio bueno para socializar es el gimnasio. ...

    I'm not so sure about that. I hate it when other people try to chat with me while I'm lifting.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 24, 2011 2:54 PM GMT
    Go early much easier to meet people in the beginning the night.
  • LuckyGuyKC

    Posts: 2080

    Jan 24, 2011 3:31 PM GMT
    Gay bars are not likely the best place to go shopping for a soul mate.

    I went to a gay bar for the 2nd time IN MY LIFE this weekend. The first time was as teenager long before I had addressed my sexuality - not much has changed in almost 30 years.

    However the drinks were dirt cheap at the bar I was at - Good luck Christian.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 24, 2011 5:27 PM GMT
    wow thanks for all the comments, I am Going to read all again in my house, righ now I am on my iPod at my university, well, I can say I smile frequently but to everyone who look at me, I don't have friends to go out, puertorricans are just a bunch of people who don't socialice if they have friends allready. I am going this spring break to Orlando Florida and my brother and I will hang out, but that's at night when he is out of work, I don't know what to do in the day wile he works ... Well, I go early like one hour after it opens, well for the times I had go there, I met a bar tender but I look so young or something that they don't like to speak or something. Anyways, yah my English is kinda weird, XD . And the gym, well, I am starting soon.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 24, 2011 5:36 PM GMT
    socalfitness saidYou're smart to not drink at all before driving, especially a 1:40 drive. Just get a soft drink. Enjoy the bar and don't let anything get you down. Remember your goal - to finish school and join your brother in Florida.



    Good advice, Christian. Being so far from a bar, just one drunk driving can put a big road block in your plans to finish school and move to Florida. You are young and have many years ahead of you to go to a gay bar. When you get to Florida it is likely the gay bar will be close enough for a cab ride home on the nights when had too much to drink.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 24, 2011 6:59 PM GMT
    You need to change your outlook on life drastically and perhaps your self-esteem. Just because the guys didn't approach you didn't mean they weren't interested in you; they may have been scared or shy to. There have been loads of times I've been to a gay bar alone, no-one spoke to me and I went back alone. But I didn't care cos I still knew how to have a good time alone and finding the right buddy suddenly became of secondary importance.

    Good luck for next time though.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 24, 2011 7:02 PM GMT
    SexyN3rd saidGo to the gym, build muscle and self confidence.



    How superficial is that advice? Muscles don't guarantee confidence -- neither is looking 'hot' for that matter...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 24, 2011 8:31 PM GMT
    Have you tried to find out what gay sports groups or hiking groups are around? (I have tried to do a search online but have come up empty so far) I find it is much easier to make friends if it is an athletic activity. Most US cities have various gay teams so I figure you might have to drive all the way to San Juan, but there should be one there.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Jan 24, 2011 8:35 PM GMT
    Get a dog. Fuck the gay bar scene. It's an exercis in frustration and disappointment.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 24, 2011 8:47 PM GMT
    Gbob saidYou need to change your outlook on life drastically and perhaps your self-esteem. Just because the guys didn't approach you didn't mean they weren't interested in you; they may have been scared or shy to. There have been loads of times I've been to a gay bar alone, no-one spoke to me and I went back alone.


    Good advice.

    Just because nobody approaches you doesn't mean their not interested in you. I think there's probably at least one person who was interested in you that night.