Having trouble coping... Please help! Can't deal with the end of my two year relationship.

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  Jan 25, 2011 7:30 PM GMT

  Okies... so two weeks ago I broke up with my bf of two years. It's not what i wanted. But every night he kept hinting that he doesn't love me. Plus he only wanted to see me when he had nothing else. I was on more than a filling in his life. However we lived together and stuff basically... However now its over. And I can't control my emotions. I tried to take it back, but if had already been done and he wanted it kept that way, But like I said, i can't control anything... Last night I randomly just started screaming and going balistic! I just ran outside in the pouring rain and danced... it helped so much, but it's still not enough. It's killing me. I can't work without losing my temper or going nuts. I feel so unstable... AND IM ALWAYS IN CONTROL! I can't handle this... It's tearing me apart... And I don't know what to do. I just wanna sleep round or just dig a whole and die in it. I'm all over the place. And at first i thought i could keep it friendly. But I honestly never wanna see him again which is hard because hes a senoir above me at my work. My life is ruined. I just... i unno... I've got a proposal to move away... should I? will it help?

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  Jan 25, 2011 7:42 PM GMT

  Time.

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  Jan 25, 2011 7:49 PM GMT

  
  
  
  Mate get a hold of yourself.
  
  I know its heart breaking and painful. You will get over this. The thing is that you should now find ways to distract yourself. Look at a new perspective of being single again. You can do somethings that you were never been able to and accomplish them.
  
  Time heals all wounds and though the scars do remain, they rarely ever itch

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  Jan 25, 2011 8:06 PM GMT

  You seriously need to remove yourself from this drama. You are causing it.
  
  You need to speak to somebody impartial and professional to help you through this imo.
  
  Your life needs re-evaluating. Goals made clear and structured, emotions expressed in a contructive outlet, new interests to be nurtured, new friends to be made, and somebody who will monitor you whilst you get yourself out of this mental rut.
  
  Concentrate on your well-being and personal growth now instead of somebody else to placate your inner turmoil.
  
  Speak to your doctor tomorow or as soon as you can get an appointment. It is their job to help you through this type of crisis, and if they aren't best equiped, they will refer you to somebody who most likely will be.
  
  Also, talk to your closest friends and family about this, and ask for some support. Take CONTROL over your emotions, your behaviour, your out-look and your life trajectory. Once you do this, you will be on the right track directed to where you need to be.

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  Jan 25, 2011 8:13 PM GMT

  _Sage_ saidYou seriously need to remove yourself from this drama. You are causing it.
  
  You need to speak to somebody impatial and professional to help you through this imo.
  
  Your life needs re-evaluating. Goals made clear and structured, emotions expressed in a contructive outlet, new interests to be nurtured, new friends to be ade, and somebody who will monitor you whilst you get yourself out of this mental rut.
  
  Concentrate on your well-being and personal growth now instead of somebody else to placate your inner turmoil.
  
  Speak to your doctor tomorow or as soon as you can get an appointment, It is there job to help you through this type of crisis, and if they aren't best equiped, they will refer you to somebody who most likely will be.
  
  Also, talk to your closest friends family about this, and ask for some support. Take CONTROL over your emotions, your behaviour, your out-look and your life trajectory. Once you do this, you will be on the right track directed to where you need to be.

  
  
  This....Your RJ name is quite indicative of your sagely sayings

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  Jan 25, 2011 8:24 PM GMT

  ^ Merci ;]

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• slimnmuscly
  
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  Jan 26, 2011 1:50 AM GMT

  Beneim said I've got a proposal to move away... should I? will it help?

  
  
  It might, depending on the nature of the proposal, where you'd be moving to, what besides your ex you'd be leaving, etc. Having your ex in a senior position over you at work sounds like the last thing you need, and the logistics/starting over involved in moving would at least keep you busy, give you other things to focus on, etc. A change of scenery can be empowering and help you see possibilities where you didn't before.
  
  Whether you move or stay put, though, therapy's a good idea.

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  Jan 26, 2011 2:02 AM GMT

  Remember the five stages of grievances. After you gone thorough all of them many times over, you will be able to get over him.
  
  1. Shock
  2. Denial
  3. Bargaining
  4. Anger
  5. Acceptance!

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  Jan 26, 2011 2:07 AM GMT

  you def need some help.

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  Jan 26, 2011 2:15 AM GMT

  Wow. I do feel for you OP. Two weeks is still new. It must be ten times difficult since this guy works with you. I honestly don't know what to tell you. I do know however, that since you work with him that it will take you a long time to get over it. Surround yourself with people who love you. This is priceless.

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• nubScotty
  
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  Jan 26, 2011 6:24 AM GMT

  frenchatheart saidRemember the five stages of grievances. After you gone thorough all of them many times over, you will be able to get over him.
  
  1. Shock
  2. Denial
  3. Bargaining
  4. Anger
  5. Acceptance!

  
  
  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance
  
  Sorry had Kubler-Ross stages of grief pounded into my head last 6 months.
  

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  Jan 26, 2011 6:42 AM GMT

  frenchatheart saidRemember the five stages of grievances. After you gone thorough all of them many times over, you will be able to get over him.
  
  1. Shock
  2. Denial
  3. Bargaining
  4. Anger
  5. Acceptance!

  
  
  
  

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• FRE0
  
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  Jan 26, 2011 6:50 AM GMT

  Exercise to the point of exhaustion can greatly help; I know from experience. I suggest VERY long runs or bicycle rides if at all possible. You'd be surprised about how effective that is to calm you down. Of course that won't totally solve the problem, but it will take the pressure off to permit you to think more clearly.

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