Maybe you could enter underwear contests at the gay clubs.
The first step is always recognizing the problem. Unfortunately, handling the problem will be a constant battle when it comes to self-image. Because of all the fears in your mind that stems from previous experience, your mind tends to play into your fears and insecurities, which makes it difficult for people to adjust when they've achieved the physical changes they've originally desired.
So what you need are close friends who will support you. Friends who'll tell you the truth. They'll tell you that you're doing good when you're doing good, that you're slipping when you're slipping, and most of all, they'll let you know when you're doing too much. And you WILL need to listen to those close (and honest) friends when they give you constructive criticisms.
You could also approach a friendly guy who is experienced and has a body that you admire and hope to achieve for their opinion.