Why DO Guys Let Themselves Go As They Age ?

  • GettingFitter

    Posts: 158

    Mar 29, 2008 5:29 AM GMT
    After seeing the smorgasboard of mouth drooling hot older guys here, I was wondering why some men feel it is okay to just let themselves get out of shape when they get to a certain age when clearly shown here, if a bloke works at it he can keep in shape ? Family or job pressure or maybe not enough time in the week perhaps, but it just seems a lot of guys, mainly straight possibly IMO, that just don't want to keep the upkeep as when they were younger.
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    Mar 29, 2008 6:27 AM GMT
    Metabolisms change. Lifestyles change.

    Young guys are capable of letting themselves go too. It could be psychological or just plain choice.
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    Mar 29, 2008 11:26 AM GMT
    Are you kidding? Obesity is not the preserve of the old. Have you seen some of the young fat bloaters these days? Who can't seem to sit through a movie without eating a bucket of popcorn or who can't get on a bus without a bag of chips?

    Any more sweeping generalisations?
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Mar 29, 2008 12:21 PM GMT
    Yeah... unfortunately for the most part you're right

    we gay guys have it in spades over str8 guys
    but even us gays tend to lose it after a while

    I myself think of it as my responsibility to stay the best I can be icon_wink.gif

    I think most guys see looking after themselves physically as hard work and once they see their friends ease off...they do too
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 29, 2008 12:23 PM GMT
    If you are generalizing about both straight and gay.. three main reasons (as partially mentioned above)..

    1. Harder to do it: To stay in shape and look good requires a lifestyle change, not just a little exercising. That requires more than just diligence.
    Most people aren't willing to put forth that effort.

    2. Other priorities: Straight men have families with children in many cases and much of their energies are focused on that. Sure effort could always be made, but some just don't see it that way, especially if they weren't necessarily into exercising in the first place

    3. Gym phobia: Sounds weird? No. I am aware of a number of men (including my bf) who find the gym a slightly intimidating process. For those who know they need to kick it up (but think they know little about the gym) it becomes a "New Years Resolution", quickly broken.
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    Mar 29, 2008 12:56 PM GMT
    I think for those of us who always had to exercise to keep fit, it became a habit as much as brushing your teeth or showering, so it's nothing to dread or love, just something you "do".

    For the "lucky" ones who could get away with anything when they were young (great genes, superfast metabolisms), as they age the natural slowing down of these processes, coupled with never having acquired regular exercises habits, leads to....er....what you've seen.
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    Mar 29, 2008 12:58 PM GMT
    Perhaps they have found stuff more fulfilling for them to concentrate on?

    Perhaps they have found life partners who will love them fat, thin or ugly?

    Perhaps they are older and wiser and do not see the diminishing returns as worth it?

    Perhaps they are still working out diligently, but superficial results are not as easy as it once were.

    There could be lots of reasons, but why does it bother you? For all you know, they could be much happier persons than you or I.
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    Mar 29, 2008 2:28 PM GMT
    Women and society (the straight community, I mean) doesn't put pressure on str8 men to have six pack abs or seventeen inch necks in their old age.....that is a duty reserved by gay men for gay men. Str8 men are basically expected to provide for the family, keep everyone grounded, and be a figure of authority, and this is what they do, well. Because, really when you think of it without bias, str8 life is more about reproduction than sexuality: they plant their seed, they raise it, and then they die....it's beautiful. Gay life on the other hand is more about sexuality, wall to wall sexuality until the day we die.Those of us who aren't in monogamous relationships want to keep the flower of our youth in bloom and the fire in our loins ignited because we need a connection of the heart with yet another man at an age when most str8 men have long made those connections with their kids and wife...uuuuugh, sorta depressing, unless you like sex and hate commitment, then it's great!
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    Mar 29, 2008 2:38 PM GMT
    GuiltyGear - I couldn't have said it any better. Marry me!

    There are times I wish I were straight so I didn't care so much about how I looked. Unfortunately, straight women have the same problem gay men do (in my opinion); in general, they have the same pressure on them to maintain their looks or else they will be replaced with a younger and prettier version.
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    Mar 29, 2008 2:45 PM GMT
    I have a somewhat different viewpoint in that I work and live in an area with a lot of the 'over 45' group - men and women. Here, there are countless golf courses, tennis courts, pools, health clubs, hiking and biking clubs. I tend to see people who get outside everyday and take excellent care of themselves. When I do see someone who has let himself or herself go, it is often someone younger, or someone in an unfortunate socio-economic situation.
  • sandiegovince

    Posts: 111

    Mar 29, 2008 2:47 PM GMT
    Guys, I think you're right in many respects. I think a lot of men and women for that fact, resign to let themselves go after they "catch" their mate. It's like they say to themselves "Hey, the challenge and thrill of the hunt is over so why should I try so hard now?" You should try hard for the simple fact of staying healthy.

    I look at the contestants on "The Biggest Loser", some are 10 years younger than me and 200 lbs. overweight. But once they begin the transition from fat to fit they understand the value of exercise and eating well.

    I think for me and a lot of men, I'll admit, exercising has the element of vanity in it. Hey, I'm single, so why not try and put my best forward? But as I've grown older, my perspective has broaden.

    By hitting the gym, hopefully I can stave on some of the problems suffered by my peers and elders--no longer being able to lift a 25 lbs. box to a shelf, getting winded climbing up a flight of stairs or bones so fragile you have to gingerly step off a curb. I don't want to live that kind of life.
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    Mar 29, 2008 2:48 PM GMT

    I know a lot of forty somethings who are active, but they do not pay particular attention to lifting weights and being jacked at damn near fifty like the man of the day.
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    Mar 29, 2008 3:05 PM GMT
    Also the testosterone level naturally falls as a guy gets older. So the drive is not there either.

    Life without testosterone is very calm. I didnt have the "aggressiveness" that I have felt all my life. I also didnt have any sex drive (...which was not altogether a bad thing. Mr. Happy didnt rule my life. I could spend more time on other interests ....until the depression set in. Testosterone is needed for more than muscles, sex, and drive.)

    So as guys age they do feel the urge to keep in shape...unless they have always already stayed in shape. I think that stimulates the production of HGH, which keeps the testosterone levels up too.

  • Squarejaw

    Posts: 1035

    Mar 29, 2008 3:13 PM GMT
    Next time some 20-year-old punk (not all 20-year-olds are punks!) says, "I hope I look as good as you do when I'm your age," I'll tell him: "Better get ready to hit the gym 5000 times in the next 25 years."

    Think about the number: 5000! And that doesn't count cardio. As the years go by, your energy flags, hangovers are harder to beat, and the demands on your time expand. Yet if you don't maintain that consistency, you'll lose your build faster than you did as a kid.

    It's hard to think about doing this forever. I like to think of myself as fit and strong when I'm 80. But sometimes I long for the day when I'll let up and spend blissful afternoons wearing muumuus and eating chocolates.
  • sandiegovince

    Posts: 111

    Mar 29, 2008 3:27 PM GMT
    Squarejaw, I bet you would look just lovely in a mumu! icon_lol.gif
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    Mar 29, 2008 3:33 PM GMT
    Squarejaw said But sometimes I long for the day when I'll let up and spend blissful afternoons wearing muumuus and eating chocolates.


    A day above ground is a good day! ... icon_lol.gif
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    Mar 29, 2008 3:47 PM GMT
    lissenup saidGuiltyGear - I couldn't have said it any better. Marry me!

    There are times I wish I were straight so I didn't care so much about how I looked. Unfortunately, straight women have the same problem gay men do (in my opinion); in general, they have the same pressure on them to maintain their looks or else they will be replaced with a younger and prettier version.


    The other part of that is that society actually discourages str8 men from really caring for themselves. I use to get all sorts of comments from my wife and daughter about how particular I was being (now they understand why). I think str8 guys feel "gay" if they pay too much attention to themselves, where gay guys want that look, much like women do and the community in which both gay and women live expects that they will go the extra mile to look younger, cleaner, well kept but with str8 guys, the community of theirs, feels this is something for "one of them kind".

    I find it odd that women don't require more of their husbands than they do, perhaps it's a way of ensuring that other women don't move in on their territory. Nothing worse than a big 'ol cat fight!
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    Mar 29, 2008 4:10 PM GMT
    I just think of it as long term planning. Based on my family history, odds are very good that I'll be able to have more years in retirement than I spend working. I'd really prefer that long retirement to be spent doing, not sitting.
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    Mar 29, 2008 4:21 PM GMT
    A lot of guys don't really care about the way they look some married guys just work come home stuff there mouths and sit in front of the Box and they are happy l guess. l see others much much younger than me who have let them selves go by drinking hard smoking and its all about choice and rem,ember we are gay and we like to look nice and be healthy !
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    Mar 29, 2008 4:21 PM GMT
    At any age, it's difficult to get in shape if you are way out of shape. But when you are young, I maintain it's difficult to get way out of shape or way overweight.

    You're growing, and your body needs a tremendous amount of calories just to maintain the growth. You have an advantage in that if you also do something athletic that burns calories, you can get amazing bodies at little physical expense (meaning in terms of workout regime and dieting, which you won't have to do).

    On the other hand, if you are 50 y.o., you are certainly not growing any more. The calorie balance equation is tipped towards the "not needing many calories to exist" part of the equation. So you have to be careful.

    That said, I agree with several posters above. I have stayed in good shape because I have made it a lifelong pursuit. It's a life style issue. I consider working out (either running, or weight training) as much a part of my life as brushing my teeth (as someone above put it as well). Not only that, I love to do it. It is not onerous.

    It's as much a health "thing" for me as it is a vanity/gay thing. And, once you are in shape, and older, the interesting thing is that you do indeed NOT look your age, because the typical older guy is so out of shape...people do not seem to realize that so much they attribute to age....pot bellies, love handles, double chins...is really under their own control.


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    Mar 29, 2008 4:31 PM GMT
    Its just the facts of life. As you get older, it is harder to get the same results fitness wise as when you were younger. It just takes more time. Hormones drop, stress increases, family matters give you no time for yourself esp. if you have children.

    A straight woman told me once that she thought some gay guys age so much better that their straight counter parts .. we thought it had to do with the fact that some of gay guys were more independent from busy family matters, and also just that fact that there seems to be more pressure in gay men to look good for obvious reasons.
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    Mar 29, 2008 4:34 PM GMT
    It is personal thing. I am 46 and I take better care today then I did at 20.

    My boyfriends mother asked him why I had so many little bottles in the bathroom and he told her that I was fighting time. I almost pissed my pants.
  • olden

    Posts: 194

    Mar 29, 2008 5:05 PM GMT
    What I find most pathetic are the young who are letting themselves go. Last week I was having lunch with a bf and along comes these four late-teenager. Each of them outweighed me, and I feel that I need to lose another 95 pounds to really be in shape. And these kids are not unusual, they are getting to be the norm. In 20 years we won't need gaydar, we will only have to look for a man who stays in shape and takes care of himself.

    It's can be a fight to get back in shape, but, like Caslon who has done so well, I think I'm winning. I am having to up the gym visits to five days a week @ 1.5 hours per visit just to get my full routine in.
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    Mar 29, 2008 5:16 PM GMT
    I think the reason lots of guys let themselves go is because they had naturally-athletic bodies back in high school and in their early twenties.

    They looked near-perfect without too much difficulty. So they take it for granted. Then. . . adult life intrudes. . . and these same guys who never needed to work out don't sense a need to start.

    So they don't. And one day they wake up and discover they're way out of shape and 40 pounds overweight. And they attribute it to "getting old," which really isn't the problem -- but it sure is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

    They stay inactive. And eventually, they wind up looking like most of the people you see waddling through the mall.

    Actually, I'm now kind of glad that I'm genetically an ectomorph. It's kept me going to the gym all these years. "Revenge of the Ectos"?? It's about time!
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Mar 29, 2008 5:21 PM GMT
    LOL... Yeah backhanded compliments are a dime a dozen
    Wow...for a forty year old guy you look great...
    But it still helps to trudge on

    I totally agree Hndsm... it is hard to do
    But I don't think it's any harder if you've been sticking with it all along
    Like some of the guys have said ... it's a lifestyle change
    and as far as the relationship spread goes...
    been there done that... it's a combination of things
    first your schedule gets changes because you need time with your guy
    then you're eating more at home ...more dinners together instead of really watching what you eat
    ...and THEN as in my case with my last BF if he likes to cook...you're in trouble