2 weeks without boyfriend

  • Onemoresummer

    Posts: 106

    Jan 26, 2011 11:04 AM GMT
    I'm going to Thailand with a couple of friends for 2 weeks.
    I asked my bf if he wanted to come but he said he "can't afford it".
    I'm worried about leaving him, this will be the longest we've spent apart. We struggle after 1-2 night away from each other.

    Should i feel guilty for leaving?
    Someone said it would "make or break" the relationship which has me stressed.
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    Jan 26, 2011 11:30 AM GMT
    If you miss each other for two weeks while you're gone, thats a good sign =)
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    Jan 26, 2011 11:48 AM GMT
    If you can't bear it, skype/call at least 2-3 nights a week. Maybe that'll make it easier. You'll be back before you know it. ;)
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    Jan 26, 2011 12:12 PM GMT
    You need to be able to spend two weeks apart from each other. What could happen during that time? Chances are, nothing will change except after a while you'll start to truly miss eachother.

    My boyfriend is always away for months at a time. And I am someone who craves closeness. If I can do it, so can your BF. icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 26, 2011 12:23 PM GMT
    fuck that....mine's about to go to academy for 4 months...grrr.
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    Jan 26, 2011 12:37 PM GMT
    As mentioned above, keep in regular touch, by the best means you can. Have you checked into cell phone service availability from Thailand to Australia with your carrier? If you don't mind being bothered by taking a notebook computer that could be another way, simple e-mail if nothing else, or Skype. Or else your lodging may have a guest computer you can use for e-mail, which is fairly common in the US.

    But I understand. Whenever my partner or live-in BF has been away I can barely sleep in our bed alone. Not that we cuddle all night long, but it's the comfort & habit of having him next to me. Nor do I travel well without him, a strange hotel bed made even stranger by his absence.

    And oddly to me, almost embarrasses me, something they've done but never me, is to lay out my clothes on my vacant side of the bed at home. And fall asleep touching them. I remember the first time I learned my late partner had done that, during a motorcycle trip I took to the Sturgis bike rally without him (he couldn't go, but let me). I started to cry when he told me.

    Still, you'll have your friends with you, and doubtlessly lots of activities to occupy you, so I imagine you'll do OK. Keep in regular touch and I'm sure he'll be fine, too. And get him lots of gifts!
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    Jan 26, 2011 12:41 PM GMT
    Yeah if it's your first time away, bringing a gift back is a nice to say that you were thinking of him even though you were away from him. Just something small, what matters is the thought icon_smile.gif.
  • Twenty_Someth...

    Posts: 1388

    Jan 26, 2011 1:19 PM GMT
    My BF is going to Panama for a month! I have work and school, otherwise I'd love to go. I think a little time apart can be good for your relationship. I'm looking forward to having a little me time again. Maybe you should too!icon_cool.gif
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Jan 26, 2011 1:39 PM GMT
    Leaving for work every day could make or break the relationship. The point is, nothing has yet. Have you ever both had to work through an issue and it made the relationship stronger?

    As they say, absence makes the heart grow founder. Just make sure you call or text often to let him know even though you are having a great time, you are always thinking about him.
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    Jan 26, 2011 2:02 PM GMT
    My boyfriend's a musician and one of my biggest dreads is when he gets picked up for a months long national tour. We can barely go a couple of days without being around each other.

    I doubt it's going to kill the relationship. Just be sure to Skype, or email him even. Phone cards are great things too icon_smile.gif
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Jan 26, 2011 2:38 PM GMT
    Am I the only person who things that this is NUTS?!

    You struggle spending 1-2 nights away from each other? That's not romantic, it's creepy. Your partner should not complete you, they should make you a better person. Your partner should not be a necessity, they should be a support. What would happen if a building came crashing down as soon as your removed the scaffolding? This is filled with so many red flags for me my eyes hurt. icon_eek.gif
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19138

    Jan 26, 2011 2:48 PM GMT
    Sounds kind of codependent to me and unhealthy. 2 weeks apart is not only NOT that long, it's good for a relationship sometimes to see if "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" really applies in your relationship. If a relationship can't survive a 2 week separation, it's probably not that great in the first place.
  • vacyclist

    Posts: 162

    Jan 26, 2011 3:05 PM GMT
    My bf is in the midst of a 4-week overseas jaunt for his work, which happens maybe twice a year...we certainly miss each other but our relationship isn't going to fall apart as a result of not seeing each other for a few weeks. On my part, I usually do a multi-week bicycle trip each year, in which he has no interest in participating except maybe to rendezvous for a day or two along my route. We've managed to survive a few of those separations too. Has something to do with depth of committment & trust, plus acceptance of a degree of openness in the relationship for both of us.
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    Jan 26, 2011 3:41 PM GMT
    This will be a good challenge for your relationship. In the real world, I think it's not uncommon for a couple to be separated for 2 weeks at a time. It'll be tough but just make sure you call him and/or write to him while you are apart. Sometimes absence can make the heart grow fonder is what I was told once.
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    Jan 26, 2011 3:46 PM GMT
    If I were truly committed to someone, I wouldn't go until he could go, too.
  • Vaughn

    Posts: 1880

    Jan 26, 2011 8:20 PM GMT
    Loco11 saidI'm going to Thailand with a couple of friends for 2 weeks.
    I asked my bf if he wanted to come but he said he "can't afford it".
    I'm worried about leaving him, this will be the longest we've spent apart. We struggle after 1-2 night away from each other.

    Should i feel guilty for leaving?
    Someone said it would "make or break" the relationship which has me stressed.


    No and go to the full moon party. Make sure that you understand how the phones work there because it is sometimes complicated.
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    Jan 26, 2011 8:27 PM GMT
    Really not that big of deal. It's two weeks. Not two years. I suppose this is will be a good test for you two to see how committed you are since you're all "chick" mode about it. The best part about being away from someone you love or have very strong feelings for is the thought of coming back and seeing them.

    You'll be fine. naturally you will miss him but don't let that thought stop you from going out and having a good time. If you keep thinking like that while on your trip and constantly saying stuff like "OMG! I sooooooooo miss my BF" that could be a real fun killer because in all honesty no one wants to hear that.
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    Jan 26, 2011 9:10 PM GMT
    Bunjamon saidAm I the only person who things that this is NUTS?!

    You struggle spending 1-2 nights away from each other? That's not romantic, it's creepy. Your partner should not complete you, they should make you a better person. Your partner should not be a necessity, they should be a support. What would happen if a building came crashing down as soon as your removed the scaffolding? This is filled with so many red flags for me my eyes hurt. icon_eek.gif

    Your comment is nearly as bad as this one
    Caslon17000 saidIf I were truly committed to someone, I wouldn't go until he could go, too.


    You silly gits, they are in the "infatuation stage" ya know where they are all sickly sweet and disgusting with each other like "OMG the sun shines out of your arse and your cock morning breath is the best I've ever smelt" *shudders*

    and What the hell is wrong with going on a holiday without your ball and chain? It's fun, time away can build a great many things... including wild awesome just gotten home after ages away sex!
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    Jan 26, 2011 9:25 PM GMT
    I had to spend two weeks alone last year while my partner was away on a business trip and I may have to do it again this March, it sucks, but everyone is right. It will make a break the relationship and more than likely it will MAKE it! It will be a big stepping stone in your relationship and will really make the two of you stronger!
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    Jan 27, 2011 1:14 AM GMT
    You will be just fine unless the two of you share some sort of unhealthy co-dependancy.

    By experiencing more you will bring more to the relationship.
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    Jan 27, 2011 1:42 AM GMT
    Two weeks is nothing. Try having a career that requires frequent, long-term travel...like 1-3 months at a time...or more.
  • prime02

    Posts: 236

    Jan 27, 2011 3:20 AM GMT
    Bunjamon saidAm I the only person who things that this is NUTS?!

    You struggle spending 1-2 nights away from each other? That's not romantic, it's creepy. Your partner should not complete you, they should make you a better person. Your partner should not be a necessity, they should be a support. What would happen if a building came crashing down as soon as your removed the scaffolding? This is filled with so many red flags for me my eyes hurt. icon_eek.gif


    I think this is nuts too.. I would hate it if I was so dependent on someone else and vias versa. Just skype when you're over there every other day or something.
  • TheIStrat

    Posts: 777

    Jan 27, 2011 3:21 AM GMT
    My bf is gone 3 months from June-August every year. You learn to enjoy the time apart
  • boilerup_82

    Posts: 188

    Jan 27, 2011 3:29 AM GMT
    Bunjamon saidAm I the only person who things that this is NUTS?!

    You struggle spending 1-2 nights away from each other? That's not romantic, it's creepy. Your partner should not complete you, they should make you a better person. Your partner should not be a necessity, they should be a support. What would happen if a building came crashing down as soon as your removed the scaffolding? This is filled with so many red flags for me my eyes hurt. icon_eek.gif


    i wish i could meet more people like you...you couldn't have said it any better!
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    Jan 27, 2011 3:33 AM GMT
    This sounds more like separation anxiety. He's a boyfriend, not a puppy. Treat him accordingly.