Met this guy and going crazy about him but I don't want to scare him away but texting him and calling him everyday (or every second) so what can I so I don't feel like am bombard him with text and calls?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 29, 2011 3:56 PM GMT
    We hang out yesterday and just text him afterwards how I had a great time with him. Now it is the next day and all I can think about is HIM and wondering when is a good time to call him or text him without being obsessive. I was personally thinking about text him on Sunday...

    What do you guys think?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 29, 2011 4:04 PM GMT
    that you need to slow down

    being that forward can turn some people on, but usually it reeks of desparation.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 29, 2011 4:15 PM GMT
    closer85 saidthat you need to slow down

    being that forward can turn some people on, but usually it reeks of desparation.


    Okay, good because thats what I was feeling but doubt started to consume my train of thought...I didn't want him to think i don't care about him
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 29, 2011 4:30 PM GMT
    Gotta play it cool.

    Relax...take it easy....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 29, 2011 4:45 PM GMT
    The chemistry between any 2 guys is gonna be unique, so that fixed "textbook" answers with a simple "yes" or "no" will always be difficult, and suspect. At best there can be general guidance.

    I remember cruising a guy I hadn't seen before in a gay club, who really intrigued me, and we hit it off, but I could see he didn't want to leave with me. So I put him on the "back burner" in my mind but didn't totally forget him, either. Nor did I try to contact him, though through the club owner whom I knew I might have gotten that info, which I later learned he had.

    But my patience paid off, and sure enough, 2 months later I saw him again, and this time I really went after him. But so did some other guy, and before I knew it the 2 of them had left together. I've never had that happen to me before or since, and I felt like a total loser & fool. But I have persistence if nothing else (and stubbornness), and I wasn't done with him yet.

    The very next night he was there alone again, and this time I let out all the stops, refusing to go 3 strikes in a row. By now I figured I had nothing to lose, so I guarded him like in a basketball game (mixing my sports metaphors here), not letting him get within 5 feet of another guy, and bluntly asked him as closing time approached if he wanted to go home to my place. He accepted, and from that moment we dated for 2 years, and remain friends to this day. Unfortunately for me at the time he's a guy who prefers to remain single, as he does to this day, and that's why I eventually moved on, because my long-term goal was a monogamous partnership, that I now have.

    Moral: patience, timing, and reading the other guy correctly. I can't help you read this guy you've met, you're gonna have to use your own judgment & instincts. Whether he'll be flattered by attention, or turned-off by pestering, I can't guess. But isn't falling for a guy a great experience? If this guy doesn't pan out I'm sure you'll have others. icon_biggrin.gif

    (And BTW, I know your city very well, even led the Pride Parade down Hennepin on my motorcycle, had plenty of my own gay escapades right there, including with the guy in the story above, a good place for it. icon_wink.gif )
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 30, 2011 6:58 AM GMT
    I'll put in my 2 cents here.

    I usually only go for guys who are interested in me in the beginning, because chasing after someone's not really my thing.

    I like getting lots of text messages from a guy who's interested in me, especially when I am interested in him too. So yes it depends on whom you're dating. He could think it's desperation but he could also think it's actually nice to get a text message often to let him know you are interested in him.
  • njnmpls

    Posts: 1

    Feb 19, 2011 9:03 PM GMT
    Hey there....I find texting nice to check in, but very impersonal. Text a hi there but a phone call let's them know you are interested in REALLY having a conversation.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 20, 2011 6:50 AM GMT
    closer85 saidthat you need to slow down

    being that forward can turn some people on, but usually it reeks of desparation.


    Or not. I've lost out trying to play it cool. It depends on the person.

    Original poster will have to try to read the guy and figure it out.

    I do think it's silly though. If you're interested you should be able to act interested. In an ideal world. Oh well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 20, 2011 7:03 AM GMT
    You already said you text'd him after you guys hung out... My 1st questions is did he reply? If not I'd move on. If he did then reply back and not waste time over thinking it or you might loose out. If it's meant to be it'll happen trying to force it won't make it so. Be yourself.

    *EDIT*
    Didn't see this was over a moth ago.... so what came of it?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 20, 2011 3:09 PM GMT
    ^^^ what the two posters above said ^^^^ personal contact speaks loudly, texting is........what you do to check your stock account...........Keithicon_wink.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Feb 20, 2011 3:29 PM GMT
    Reasonable (meaning taking the time and being sensitive about his wishes and space) contact is always fine, provided it is welcome. I'd call him and say hello once today. If he doesn't answer, leave a message. I like personal contact, not texting in this case. If he doesn't return your call, don't freak, wait a day or two and try again. Don't (god don't) come across like your infatuated with him. I personally don't like that and probably
    would be less inclined to want to get to know you (as a possible romantic interest).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 22, 2011 3:37 AM GMT
    keep us updated. I think everyone said everything necessary in this matter, but we want to know, how are you doing now?

    Mike
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 22, 2011 3:38 AM GMT
    Ahhh I get like that too...but I've gotten so much better. Put my phone on the other side of the house and try to "forget it" for a few hours lol
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Feb 22, 2011 3:42 AM GMT
    Have you ever heard of Destiny's Child Bug-A-Boo. You don't want to be one of those. You will just scare him away!!!