Exclusivity

  • CityGuy2007

    Posts: 26

    Jan 30, 2011 4:41 PM GMT
    Hey guys, was wondering if anyone has any good advice for brining up the subject of exclusivity with a guy you've been seeing for several months without sounding needy/desperate. Is there a good way to do this or is it better left untouched? Thanks.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 30, 2011 5:46 PM GMT
    I think it is perfectly appropriate after several months to bring this topic up. You could just mention casually, something to the effect "I really like you and want to keep seeing you. What are your thoughts about dating exclusively and seeing where things go?" His reaction and answer should give you a pretty good idea as to whether he wants to continue dating casually or give an exclusive relationship a try.

    Good luck with it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 30, 2011 6:29 PM GMT
    I don't think it sounds needy or desperate if you bring this up after seeing each other for several months. Communication is key after all since this has been on your mind lately.

    It also depends on the guy you're seeing. Some guys might think it's needy/desperate, others might actually be glad you brought this up.

    Personally, I prefer exclusivity right from the start, but I am weird that way.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 30, 2011 6:41 PM GMT
    I really like Sashaman's reply. I'll quote it, "I really like you and want to keep seeing you. What are your thoughts about dating exclusively and seeing where things go?" It is absolutely appropriate to bring it up after a few months. What's important about having it now, is if he says that he's not comfortable with that. That tells you where things stand. If you're okay with having an open relationship, then that'd work out fine. However, if you're not (I don't think you'd be asking the question if you were), then you need to start thinking about finding someone else who shares your core values.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 30, 2011 6:57 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidEveryone has pretty much provided you with great input.

    And if things do not work out you can always do things my way.


    If he refuses to commit, club him over the head and while he is unconscious handcuff him to the radiator so your dream of exclusivity can be realized. This way you get to keep him all to yourself. icon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gif



    Hahaha... now we know the real reason he's always advocating powerlifting....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 30, 2011 7:19 PM GMT
    Yep...my partner and I had good luck with it. We mentioned during dinner that we had not been with anyone else, would like to continue, and addressed all current concerns, such as an age difference, but would like to grow and continue.

    Good luck!

    Mike
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 30, 2011 9:37 PM GMT
    CityGuy2007 saidHey guys, was wondering if anyone has any good advice for brining up the subject of exclusivity with a guy you've been seeing for several months without sounding needy/desperate. Is there a good way to do this or is it better left untouched? Thanks.
    That's what basements and ropes are for. icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2011 12:22 AM GMT
    First, I'll ask why are you afraid to talk to a guy you've been seeing for several months. Why do you want to be exclusive with this guy that you don't think you are able to talk to?

    If you like the guy and don't want to be dating anyone else, then you found the perfect time to talk about exclusivity.
    It's as simple as saying, "I like you and I don't want to date anyone else but you. What do you think about being exclusive?"

    If you don't have the conversation, you might as well assume that he's out tricking around every night.