In Love With Someone Who's In Love.....

  • PTAstudent

    Posts: 3

    Jan 30, 2011 9:49 PM GMT

    I met this guy, we started chatting and soon I found out that he is currently in a very long relasionship. But we have been chatting and going out as much as possible this last week, his boyfriend coming with and so a friendship between me and the happy couple has started.

    But the chemistry between me and him is amazing, and we both know it. We have also discussed "us" and we know that he loves his boyfriend but also enjoys the massive chemistry between us, and we can't deny the fact we both like each other. But I don't wanna be a home wrecker and neither does he just wanna leave his guy!

    What are we (and more me) to do?!
    #confused icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 30, 2011 9:54 PM GMT
    You wear each others' shoes, see the situation from each viewpoint and come to the obvious conclusion to do nothing. icon_wink.gif

    If you were him, you have been in love with your bf for a very long time, this kind of thing happened before with other men, and you wouldn't leave him for someone else.

    If you were his BF you would trust your BF that he would not leave you for someone else.

    You are you, and want a guy who has a lot of integrity and keeps his commitments, not someone who has a habit of dumping bfs for new guys.

    How's that?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 30, 2011 10:10 PM GMT
    Doug is right. Doing nothing is likely the best option.
  • PTAstudent

    Posts: 3

    Jan 30, 2011 10:12 PM GMT
    Thanks Doug!

    My concern with this whole situation is just the matter of "what if"
    We are both still young, and he has been dating his boyfriend for 18 months...but we both know that there is something unique between us.

    Can it be possible to love someone, meet someone else and maybe feel more than for the one you love?

    I don't want him to dump his boyfriend and date me, and I know he won't just do that.

    I just need to know, do I continue with the flirting and deep conversations between us? Or do I put a complete stop to this? We have spoken about maybe not hanging out anymore, but won't that make things even worse not able being to see each other anymore....?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 30, 2011 10:27 PM GMT
    lol, no; you become the three Musketeers in a strictly friendship way.

    It is a test of honour amongst friends. Life's full of them. I was in your boots, a few times
    The first time, we drifted apart after a few years. Ten years later I met the one I secretly admired in that way. We went out for 2 weeks. It didn't work.

    The second time, the two eventually decided to try a threesome. It was interesting but both competed for my attention and became a little jealous of each other and so I backed away. Oh those 70s.

    I'm still friends with yet a third couple who are going on 30 years together. Several years ago I finally told them about me and one of them and my secret crush. They both laughed. They'd known all along and admired me greatly for never acting on it.