Anyone else find this embarrassing?

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    Jan 31, 2011 2:24 AM GMT
    So it seems like every time I'm watching a film/tv show with my parents it has some sloppy gay theme in it. I don't know why I find this embarrassing but I think it has something to do with the fact that this is something that is just not talked about in my family. My parents are old school. They know I'm gay but they'd rather not. So when the subject comes up in a film/tv show it electrifies the air.
    I don't know if I'm making any sense. It might have something to do with negative portrayal of homos in TV and then again, it might just be me.
    Any thoughts?
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    Jan 31, 2011 2:28 AM GMT
    Unless these films contain images of double edged dildos I think you may be making a drama out of nothing.
  • disasterpiece

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    Jan 31, 2011 2:29 AM GMT
    Yeah, I always feel akward when that happens. And most of the time I'm surprised loll...

    Today, I was watching the NHL All stars game and there was this Canadien Tenors quartet that sang the Canadian national anthem. I was watching it with my father and we commented the performance (I came out to him a month ago).

    I said "Wow, they were great... " and he answered "Yeah, and they're 4 pretty great looking guys".

    I was like icon_eek.gif
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    Jan 31, 2011 2:31 AM GMT
    Disasterpiece said

    I said "Wow, they were great... " and he answered "Yeah, and they're 4 pretty great looking guys".

    I was like icon_eek.gif


    Aw that some serious bonding happening right there.So cute ^^b Well, I'm saying cute although it may not mean he is expressing his acceptance of your homosexuality.
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    Jan 31, 2011 2:37 AM GMT
    boulderic saidSo it seems like every time I'm watching a film/tv show with my parents it has some sloppy gay theme in it. I don't know why I find this embarrassing but I think it has something to do with the fact that this is something that is just not talked about in my family. My parents are old school. They know I'm gay but they'd rather not. So when the subject comes up in a film/tv show it electrifies the air.
    I don't know if I'm making any sense. It might have something to do with negative portrayal of homos in TV and then again, it might just be me.
    Any thoughts?


    I know exactly what you mean. My mom doesn't know about me, but still I get this awkward and embarrassing feeling when we are watching a show with gay topic. I used to remember when I used to watch will and grace, and i would have such weird feeling. lol.
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    Jan 31, 2011 2:40 AM GMT
    disasterpiece: HAha, I'd definitely be like icon_eek.gif too if my father were to say something in that manner.

    Bagenholt: your thoughts are making a drama out of nothing.
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    Jan 31, 2011 2:41 AM GMT
    boulderic saiddisasterpiece: HAha, I'd definitely be like icon_eek.gif too if my father were to say something in that manner.

    Bagenholt: your thoughts are making a drama out of nothing.


    Oh main we are totally two peas in a pod then.
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    Jan 31, 2011 2:42 AM GMT
    I can relate here.

    It's like an awkward feeling, something is defo tangible and elcectric in the air- the proverbial white elephant in the room.

    I was watching Modern Family with my mum, first time she has watched it and I had to explain how Cam and Mitchell were 'related'...lol, awkward icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 31, 2011 2:43 AM GMT
    Bagenholt said
    boulderic saiddisasterpiece: HAha, I'd definitely be like icon_eek.gif too if my father were to say something in that manner.

    Bagenholt: your thoughts are making a drama out of nothing.


    Oh main we are totally two peas in a pod then.


    Lol!
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    Jan 31, 2011 2:47 AM GMT
    Disasterpiece saidYeah, I always feel akward when that happens. And most of the time I'm surprised loll...

    Today, I was watching the NHL All stars game and there was this Canadien Tenors quartet that sang the Canadian national anthem. I was watching it with my father and we commented the performance (I came out to him a month ago).

    I said "Wow, they were great... " and he answered "Yeah, and they're 4 pretty great looking guys".

    I was like icon_eek.gif


    Yeah...my dad's done that too. AWKWARD, right!?
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    Jan 31, 2011 4:58 AM GMT
    I know how you feel!

    My entire family (except myself) is staunchly Republican, and when Prop 8 was in the ballot in CA, everytime an ad or a news item on it appeared on TV, we ended up arguing ~ not to the point of being mean-spirited as I am out to them, but just intensely argumentative.

    I mean, my dad is a lawyer, and I'm studying law- and we are by nature disagreeable people, but suffice it to say, Prop 8 took it to the next level.

    Not awkward, just intense.
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    Jan 31, 2011 5:08 AM GMT
    Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. Although my parents are politically liberal, they're still recovering homophobes. All through my childhood, any gay content on tv would drive my father up the wall, provoke a rant, and get the channel changed. These days, fortunately, my family mostly watches MSNBC. It's made my life a lot more pleasant over the last year or so, as they've been getting constantly bombarded by DADT coverage. They're beginning to chill out finally. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jan 31, 2011 5:23 AM GMT
    I sort of get that feeling when I watch movies/t.v. with my mom,but it's when there's lezzy action though.
    I know my mom's ok with me being gay, but when we see 2 chicks going at it, whether it's kissing or petting (or more: i.e. "Night of the Demons"--remake), it makes us both cringe.
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    Jan 31, 2011 6:17 AM GMT
    The media takes being gay to a level closely stereotyping it with what many think it is, flamboyant effeminate guys doing God knows what. What's funny is that many of us are very uncomfortable with our relatives watching two guys being 'gay' but take a heterosexual couple that are being just as stereotypical in any other way and we think nothing of it.

    Bottom line is that two gay guys living a boring life where they get up and put their pants on one leg at a time, go to work, come home at 5, fix dinner, feed kids, watch TV and go to bed just doesn't sell.

    And it doesn't for str8s either, that why we have Sally Fields and all the brothers and sisters and desperate housewives from all over hell.
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    Jan 31, 2011 6:56 AM GMT
    Imagine having a super-liberal mom that loves everything about gay men and treats her gay son like a girlfriend. Picture watching movies with her that have gay sex scenes, Latter Days for instance, and then having her pause the movie to ask you something like, "when you deepthroat, you know not to breathe at the same time, right?"

    Nothing like getting tips on how to please a man from your mother icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jan 31, 2011 7:05 AM GMT
    I have the total opposite reaction when it comes to anything like that, I can say pretty much anything in front of my mom, she is pretty much cool with it. icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 31, 2011 7:06 AM GMT
    TawlBlond saidImagine having a super-liberal mom that loves everything about gay men and treats her gay son like a girlfriend. Picture watching movies with her that have gay sex scenes, Latter Days for instance, and then having her pause the movie to ask you something like, "when you deepthroat, you know not to breathe at the same time, right?"

    Nothing like getting tips on how to please a man from your mother icon_rolleyes.gif


    My mom loves me but that would be the last thing she says to me...lol...but has told me not to come home in a dress.....so far so goodicon_biggrin.gificon_neutral.gif
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    Jan 31, 2011 3:36 PM GMT
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    Jan 31, 2011 4:11 PM GMT
    Bagenholt saidUnless these films contain images of double edged dildos I think you may be making a drama out of nothing.


    And if these films do not contain images of double edged dildos you're clearly watching the wrong kinds of films with your parents. icon_lol.gif

    Too far? Nahhh
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    Jan 31, 2011 4:17 PM GMT
    TV portrayals, as I've said before, are embarrassing because they're stereotypical jokes on us. I used to tell my mother "that's not how all gay guys act." I made her watch "Brokeback Mountain" so she could at least see some representation of average guys in love.
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    Jan 31, 2011 4:46 PM GMT
    My parents are old school too... I was watchIng tv with my mother and there was an announcement of Ricky Martin concert, and my mom started talking shits about it, I told her, I will go to that concert and she told me , " since when you hear his songs?" I like his songs, but I don't buy his CD that's all, and she start telling shits, she dont know I am gay. I gues she know but she don't accept it, she start telling, that people shoudnt to that concert bla bla bla,
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    Jan 31, 2011 4:54 PM GMT
    The day I came out my family watched cold case and it was about this gay bashing that occured 40 years ago. Every other line in the show was "why did you kill him? Because he was a faggot!". It seemed to be stressed too. What a coincidence.
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    Jan 31, 2011 4:56 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidI think most of you are being overly-sensitive. There are television portrayals of gay characters on TV and if they are masculine they go unnoticed by all of you but when it is someone whom you do not approve of it is the media making fun of gay people.

    I could point out nearly a half a dozen characters on TV that I think are masculine or at least not very feminine. And these are characters that had regular exposure on television.

    To address the OP and the content:

    I used to feel a bit embarrassed watching a gay movie that might have gone into a sex scene. That was a bit uncomfortable but watching openly gay characters was no big deal for me and it does not bother me with anyone.

    So many of you want equal rights, you want this or that and yet you focus on what lights you up and you make a big deal out of it.

    Most of you with these problems are not willing to do anything about it other than complain. My guess is also you are too chicken shit to show your masculine gay selves to the world and show PDA if you were to have a boyfriend.

    And eb925guy brought up a good point. There are plenty of other stereotypes (related to heterosexuality) covered in the media. You do not see the straights whining about it.



    I think shying from PDA is not something exclusive to the ore 'masculine' gays. Nor is it necessarily a sign of cowardice. Poeple have different comfort levels/opinions regarding this, to what level they feel people in general should be affectionate in public, no matter what their sexuality or demeanor.

    I think this thread is more light-hearted than the tone of your post suggests. I, personally, was referring to a twinge of minor embaressment, akin to your mother walking in on you whilst changing your clothes- as opposed to deep-rooted shame and hiding.

    Most straight poeple i'm sure feel the same if their parents start talking about sex, or a something sexual comes onto the TV whilst watch with their parents.

    Ordinary gay characters is something admittedly more tame, but if there is not an open and comfortable diaolgue regarding sexuality, alternative or otherwise, with one's parents, then having the subject brought up for you unexpectedly can catch you off-guard. That is all.

    It's great that more and more gay characters in in many different shapes and forms, from fem-masc (although the latter is MUCH more under-represented right now, unfortunately, as) are on prime-time tv/movies.

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    Jan 31, 2011 4:58 PM GMT
    It's very common in many US families for parents & children not to discuss sex of any kind among themselves. Many of us don't even get the "birds & bees" talk from our parents when we're entering puberty -- I know I didn't.

    So I can imagine how watching TV programs containing more explicit sexual themes with our parents in the room, especially gay themes of any kind, could be awkward & uncomfortable. Of course it doesn't have to be that way, entirely cultural, and in the US it's OK to see a straight couple doing a passionate lip-lock on TV, kids of any age can watch that, their parents present with them.

    I was spared this, moving out of my parents' home in 1969, when such gay content was never shown on US TV. Nor had I watched TV with them since around 1961 anyway, when I got my own bedroom TV. Nor did I again in subsequent short stays & visits with them, or they with me.

    So a bit academic for me with my own parents regarding TV. But I have been a guest at the home of the parents of some of my grown BFs, where the whole family watched TV, like during holiday visits, and I know these uncomfortable moments.

    Much of the problem was that none of these BFs were ever "officially" out to their families, yet everyone knew. (And they had to know who & what the Hell I was, in one case even sleeping in their son's boyhood bedroom with him during our visit, despite being offered my own room).

    But such is the level of denial and unspoken subjects in American culture. And I so I understand what the OP is saying.
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    Jan 31, 2011 5:03 PM GMT
    KardioKing said
    Bagenholt saidUnless these films contain images of double edged dildos I think you may be making a drama out of nothing.


    And if these films do not contain images of double edged dildos you're clearly watching the wrong kinds of films with your parents. icon_lol.gif

    Too far? Nahhh


    Hahaha You have just become my Mr. Arrow <3