Dating....

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2011 7:21 PM GMT
    It has been a year and 5 months since a broke up with my BF for 8 years. I dated like 3 guys 8 months after the break up but it seems I cant find that chemistry. Am I getting numb, calloused or what? Something is wrong.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2011 7:53 PM GMT
    Seems like you're in a mindset to replace the absence of your 8 year relationship with someone for another 8 years. Dating just is, if it doesn't lead to a commitment it doesn't mean you're "dating wrong".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2011 9:55 PM GMT
    If you're comparing each new date to your bf of 8 years then, yes, there is a problem.


    Each new date is a distinct adventure and should be treated as such. It's not fair to your dates or to yourself to compare the new date to your long-term relationship.

    That said, if you aren't having fun and don't have chemistry then there's no need to pursue a relationship.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2011 10:46 PM GMT
    Ermine saidIf you're comparing each new date to your bf of 8 years then, yes, there is a problem.


    Each new date is a distinct adventure and should be treated as such. It's not fair to your dates or to yourself to compare the new date to your long-term relationship.

    That said, if you aren't having fun and don't have chemistry then there's no need to pursue a relationship.



    I tried really hard not to mirror the guys I've dated with my previous LTR but it seems difficult to execute it. I recognize good attributes from my dates and feed my emotions hoping it would turn into a relationship.....and here's the but...once I get smothered I get turned off and the thrill fades instantaneously. I'm a guy who loves challenges in any aspect of my life, may it be career or a relationship. I pursue and I work hard on it.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 31, 2011 10:48 PM GMT
    I think it all depends on why you are dating... meaning, is it laid back, relaxed and doing it for the company of your date.... or are you merely looking for another boyfriend, thus having very predetermined results, plans, etc.

    If you want another boyfriend, I think a reality check may be in order. Serious relationships don't happen overnight. Maybe a little "back off" and enjoy.. is the order (think about it).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2011 11:50 PM GMT
    jprichva saidI'm so old the only dating I do now is carbon-dating.

    meh.ro4359.jpg