Non Beneficial FWBs

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2011 3:56 AM GMT
    Just going to get straight to the point. I found this guy online who lives extremely close to me. He is a couple years older than me and has a bunch of stuff goin for him. When I first met him at Lifetime I wasn't planning on being "beneficial" with anyone. Just work out buddies. went to his house the first night we met and just talked for a bit with the TV in the background. We were both attracted to each other and things got physical the next time we met.

    A little background. baisically he is a pretty good guy. Not out yet. But is openly for gay marriage and all that stuff (which confused me). He has morals and a goals. but anyways.

    I don't usually do FWB's. in fact, never. But this guys had a ton of qualities, blah blah blah. Anyways long story short there are a few things that I do to screw things up like
    A) falling easily for him
    B) wanting more than just benefits
    C) and telling him how I feel.

    I know, I was stupid. after I finally got the courage to tell him how I felt he said he was totally okay with it and thought I was cool and we could hang out sometime - That was all peachy but he didn't seem to want it.

    The thing wanted to get to was that I saw him at the gym. We saw each other but he just walked away. He was with a friend. who was Bi at least. and pretty good looking. (not good on my part obviously.) I dipped out of the gym after I finished running. and then dipped. I was bad enough that I saw him in the gym but then I saw him in the locker room which was even worse. I dipped without taking a shower (gross), had a cigg by my car and went home.

    Why am I writing this? One, I need to vent and 2, I have no idea what to do. I'm thinking about just being done with the whole thing but I think that if I give it a chance it could become something... I don't know, more?

    Feedback is oh-so welcome.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Feb 02, 2011 4:36 AM GMT


    I don't usually do FWB's. in fact, never. But this guys had a ton of qualities, blah blah blah. Anyways long story short there are a few things that I do to screw things up like
    A) falling easily for him
    B) wanting more than just benefits
    C) and telling him how I feel.

    I know, I was stupid. after I finally got the courage to tell him how I felt he said he was totally okay with it and thought I was cool and we could hang out sometime - That was all peachy but he didn't seem to want it.

    The thing wanted to get to was that I saw him at the gym. We saw each other but he just walked away. He was with a friend. who was Bi at least. and pretty good looking. (not good on my part obviously.) I dipped out of the gym after I finished running. and then dipped. I was bad enough that I saw him in the gym but then I saw him in the locker room which was even worse. I dipped without taking a shower (gross), had a cigg by my car and went home.

    Why am I writing this? One, I need to vent and 2, I have no idea what to do. I'm thinking about just being done with the whole thing but I think that if I give it a chance it could become something... I don't know, more?

    Feedback is oh-so welcome.[/quote] I think you broke the rules and it probably made him feel uncomfortable. i also think that he is not out and he probably feels you will want him to come out or you might out him unintentionally
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2011 5:34 AM GMT
    Closetedness on anyone's part makes a large amount of unnecessary drama in relationships. Try to find someone who's more comfortable with himself.
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Feb 02, 2011 6:01 AM GMT
    You, and only you, are solely responsible for the moves you make, or don't make. You snooze, you lose.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2011 6:07 AM GMT
    I bet he was nervous that you would "give him away" to his other friend. Closeted guys can be pretty desperate to stay in the closet.

    I will admit, 4 years ago when I was so far in the closet and had no interest in ever coming out, I was at the gym and saw a guy I had slept with a few weeks earlier and I did pretty much the same thing your guy did.

    This is an issue with closeted guys. Plus, I am sure you guys would progress to more of a relationship rather than FWB situation if he was actually openly gay or at least close to it.

    If you are thinking about ending it, you might as well tell him how you feel and see what he says. Worst he can do is end it, but you were going to anyways. Just tell him you are hoping for something more than just sex and see what he says.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2011 7:33 AM GMT
    coolarmydude saidYou, and only you, are solely responsible for the moves you make, or don't make. You cruise, you lose.


    Fixed icon_lol.gif

    (Sorry, had to)